Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
William Shakespeare Sonnet 116
Why am I quoting Shakespeare just after 6am on a balmy Bali morning?
Because Venus has some transits coming up that the textbooks could possibly have you running and ducking and screaming for cover, and worried that you’ll never ever fall in love again…ever…or that this relationship is doomed…or…you get the idea…and I wanted to remind you- possibly through the worlds longest sentence- that love isn’t this tremulous, pouting, constant state of bliss, but rather something much stronger entirely.
Ok…to backtrack a little.
Venus has just squared off against Pluto. With the Full Moon in Scorpio, there was some intensity around this- a lot of intensity.
Squares, as we know, are challenging and full of friction, but they also provide the energy and impetus to push you towards a resolution, to move forward with something…and where Scorpio and Pluto are concerned, that something could be powerful, healing, or a conclusion to something that quite simply is completed broken inside.
In Malaysia when something is broken it’s spoiled. In NZ, it’s munted. In Australia, it’s rooted or stuffed. Either way, it can’t be fixed and needs to be eliminated in order to make space for healing and something that can work.
The problem arises when through tension- and the pressure to compromise where we don’t want to compromise, or one of those other myriad of issues that arise in relationships- that we decide to throw away something that has some essential integrity simply because it all seems too hard.
I guess the trick is knowing the difference- and that will always depend on issues around personal deal breakers, personal boundaries, and, of course, personal safety…only you can answer those questions.
Last night, as we watched the Full Moon rise over Legian Beach, hubby and I got to talking about how long it’s been since we came away together with no other agenda.
Sure we’ve had a night here, a couple of nights there, but in the past five years it’s been attached to visiting family in Canberra, or to NZ for a friend’s party. We haven’t been away together just us, for us. Nor have the two of us been away (together) from Miss 16 for longer than two nights. We’ve needed it. In many ways, I think we’ve needed the healing.
One of the toughest things about being in relationship is the whole idea of togetherness, and just how individual needs and identities can be maintained within the boundaries of commitment. I think I’ve struggled with that over the years more than what he has. He has Venus in Libra with no difficult aspects, I have it in Aries and inconjunct a 7th house Uranus and Pluto, and square Jupiter. I’m more obsessive, compulsive, and self-indulgent than he’ll ever be. I also crave space and personal freedom more.
By synastry, my Venus is opposite his- our relationship needs are different and our balance literally is somewhere in the middle.
Difficult aspects between Venus and Uranus don’t mean that you can’t stay together, just that it’s more important that you find a way of negotiating those “leave me alone, I’m lonely” urges. It can be done…but, trust me, it is also a constant challenge.
As Venus conjuncts Uranus in a day or so, you could find these restless urges occurring in your relationships- that need for excitement, reinvention or just the need to be me within the whole that is us. If your Venus is natally in a difficult aspect with Uranus, it will be magnified for you.
With sextiles between Mercury and Venus, and Mercury and Uranus occurring in the background, it can be done- if you take the opportunity to communicate. And I don’t mean that whole frightening, confrontational “we need to talk about us”….although it could very well be that. What it could also be is just the extra closeness that comes from just chatting and listening and being interested.
The other thing to remember from these transits is that they are over relatively quickly, so now is not the time to burn any bridges- it’s more of a reminder…although remember that very often these personal planet transits trigger something that’s deeper occurring in the background. Sometimes shit just happens.
Besides, with the Moon in Sagittarius, the possibilities for adventure are endless…and that, to me, is really what relationship is about- a leap of faith that you take over and over again.