This is how it feels…

water on the brain- pic by me
water on the brain- pic by me

Think about the last time you had your heart broken. Or even the last time somebody hurt you or upset you or took you for granted. How did you react? Did you confront that person? Did you talk to them about it? How quickly did you get over it? Have you moved on? Did you assume that they would know they had hurt you? Did you sit in your room and play songs that reminded you of times you had together? Maybe you have songs that say exactly how you feel. Perhaps, like me, you play over and over songs that you wish you could dump to a CD and send it off to them with a message that reads something like:

In this CD is everything that I am wanting to say to you that I feel, but just can’t…so this is how it feels…

While the sign that the Moon is in will show how you instinctively and emotionally react to situations, the sign that Mercury is in tells us a lot about how we think, how we communicate, how we learn and how we connect different pieces of information together.

When Mercury is in a Water sign, emotions, feelings and environmental moods are what matters. Emotions motivate thought, word and deed. If you have Mercury in a Water sign, you may have problems expressing how it feels.

My bet is that if you have Mercury in a water sign, when your heart was last broken, the following would have occurred:

 

If there was a conversation, it would go something like this:

  • You didn’t talk to him about it- you shouldn’t have to
  • In fact you didn’t really properly talk to anyone about it
  • If it was unrequited, probably no one but you knows about it
  • No, you haven’t moved on
  • No, you haven’t got over it

‘Do you want to talk about what happened?’

‘Do you think we need to talk about what happened?’

‘I thought that maybe we should…’

‘Really? Why?’

‘Maybe we don’t need to talk about it…’

‘No, it’s not such a great idea, is it?’

‘Are we cool?’

‘Yep, all OK…’

It’s not…

People with Mercury in Water signs are unable to detach emotionally from a problem or situation in order to look at it objectively. Because they feel it or sense it, they often assume that those around them are also able to absorb knowledge at an emotional level as well. They assume that the words don’t need to be said…and between watery people, quite often they don’t!

I had a recent-ish deep and meaningful conversation with a fellow 12th house Pisces Mercury. At least we called it a D&M… By the end of it, I like to think we both knew what the other had said and how the situation had made each of us feel. To any Mercury in Gemini listening on, the result would have been utter confusion. We had said what we needed to say without saying it.

Where Mercury in Gemini makes connections between disparate pieces of information using words, Mercury in Cancer will rely on feelings and moods to make the same connections.

Where Mercury in Gemini will then want to talk about it, Mercury in Cancer will tuck those thoughts and ideas into the protection of her shell and grow them and nurture them until they are strong and secure enough to stand on their own. Only when she feels that it is safe will she disclose them.

Even at this point, she will choose her words carefully to avoid risking those emotions that make her so very vulnerable. When she does speak, she does so instinctively, with sensitivity and with an amazing ability to feel the mood of her audience.

In the body, Cancer rules the parts of the body that act as “containers”- the stomach, breasts, uterus. Cancer encloses and protects. Mercury in Cancer holds and protects memories.

She will remember conversations, events, anniversaries, arguments and slights (real or imagined). She remembers events from her past and from your past and from your shared past. She may not talk about it, but she will remember.

This also means that Mercury in Cancer is able to hold a grudge longer than many other signs…but doesn’t tend to have the revenge fantasies that Mercury in Scorpio is capable of.

She will assume that your memory is as clear and retentive as her own. What she uses to access and catalogue these memories is mood and emotion. How did the event, person, conversation make her feel? What was the mood of the conversation? What was the mood of the event? What emotions were raised?

If you happened to mention in passing that it would be great to catch up when you are next in town, Mercury in Cancer will look forward to it and then feel let down when you don’t contact her. You, in the meantime, have completely forgotten even making the comment. Will she say anything? Nope, but she will remember. She will also assume that you know she feels hurt.

When talking to Mercury in Cancer, she will be listening to you, but also “feeling” you. She knows that “fine” usually means anything but! What you are saying will not be as important to her as the emotions she is hearing behind the words.

Because she is looking for the meaning behind the words, Mercury in Cancer can take what you say personally and defensively- even when what you said was not intended to cause offense. This comes back to Cancers’ need to protect her emotions. Because she is reluctant to share how she feels (if you really knew her and really cared about her you would just know) it can be hard for those around her to know just which subjects should be avoided or at least treated with more care.

When faced with something new or confronting Mercury in Cancer will withdraw into her shell in order to explore and absorb the new information away from the jangling emotions of others. This allows her to make decisions that are more objective and intuitive than they otherwise would be. If you push for a quick answer from Mercury in Cancer, it will generally be “no”.

Mercury in Cancer prefers to avoid arguments and conflict wherever possible. Passive-aggressive is her preferred method of attack. A simple “fine” can contain a myriad of alternative meanings. She will then retreat to her shell where she can replay the conversation along with the verbal responses she could have and should have used.

Anyone who has Mercury in Cancer needs a safe environment within which to disclose these emotions. A journal (preferably with a lock or password protection) is an absolute must…chocolate also helps.

Mercury in Cancer may be drawn to poetry and song lyrics. There is something so very special about hitting on a line or a verse that says exactly what you can’t.

Coming back to my heartbreak scenario, Mercury in Cancer may wish she could send him the poem or the lyrics…but of course she won’t. Anyway, she reasons, if he really cared, he would know.

Does this sound like you? If you have the Moon in tight aspect to Mercury (especially the conjunction, square or opposition…) you may also find yourself nodding in agreement…as you search through your itunes list for that song…

 

5 comments

  1. Hi Jo,

    What a wonderful post! I have read it just in the right time, just after a misunderstandment with my boyfriend who has a mercury in Cancer. Mine is in Capricorn, so it was good to read the exactly opposite point of view. The wisdom emerging from your post shows that is good to leave the Cancer mercury alone when there is a dispute and that’s what they feel like; and leave them the time to evaluate. Then they come back happy and smiley.

    Other things I have noticed from that placement is that the Cancer mercury thinks in images. My men always says, I can’t tell, but I can show. Whatever he tries to express, he draws schemes and pictures, or find relevant images or videos on web-he doesn’t simply communicates with words.

    Also, when he talks to people, even complete stranges, he clicks on instantly, often touching and holding other people hands when talking to them(though this mercury is conjuncted with venus). Mercury in Cancer really gets into the heart of public, brakes ice and makes friends at instance.

    It’s also my sisters mercury that one in cancer-in conjunction with sun. When she makes people laugh-she makes them laugh to tears.

    I adore you work Jo, I have shortly ago discovered your blog. Fantastic writing and superb poetic style. Is it Mercury in Pisces? 🙂

    I reserve the Mercury in Cancer time to read though your blog. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Hi Jo,

    What a wonderful post! I have read it just in the right time, just after a misunderstandment with my boyfriend who has a mercury in Cancer. Mine is in Capricorn, so it was good to read the exactly opposite point of view. The wisdom emerging from your post shows that is good to leave the Cancer mercury alone when there is a dispute and that’s what they feel like; and leave them the time to evaluate. Then they come back happy and smiley.

    Other things I have noticed from that placement is that the Cancer mercury thinks in images. My men always says, I can’t tell, but I can show. Whatever he tries to express, he draws schemes and pictures, or find relevant images or videos on web-he doesn’t simply communicates with words.

    Also, when he talks to people, even complete stranges, he clicks on instantly, often touching and holding other people hands when talking to them(though this mercury is conjuncted with venus). Mercury in Cancer really gets into the heart of public, brakes ice and makes friends at instance.

    It’s also my sisters mercury that one in cancer-in conjunction with sun. When she makes people laugh-she makes them laugh to tears.

    I adore you work Jo, I have shortly ago discovered your blog. Fantastic writing and superb poetic style. Is it Mercury in Pisces? 🙂

    I reserve the Mercury in Cancer time to read though your blog. Thank you.

    1. Thanks Elisa…and yes, it is Mercury in Pisces. Best advice for Cancer in Mercury man is to do exactly what you’ve said here 🙂

  3. Dear Jo,
    I too am new to your excellent work. Found you through a link the Oxofrd Astrologer had up. This picture captured my attention and had a read, i nearly fell off my chair.
    My closest friend is Cancerian/Scorp Rising/ Sag Moon, i had, in the past attributed her ”’taking a step back-ed-ness” to the Scorp Moon, as sometimes, there seems to be an ink cloud – of dissappointment that can come after something has not settled right with her – only on the rare occassino with me, in fact i cant think of being inked in years … however i have seen this happen..
    So after reading your bang on article i checked out her chart – and lo and behold there we have it, sun and mercury in cancer…Not close at either ends of house…but now i feel like i understand more where she is coming from…

    I’m Aries Sun and Merc, Pisces rising, Venus/Mars/Saturn/Moon in Gemini .. so i spit it out straight away…and blow up only for a minute and then im fine…Pisces rising is my saving grace, as i will go over something ive said that didnt feel right, and give her or the person involved a call to make sure they are alright, and try and recity if i feel i was a little too bolshie/well Aries really for them at the time ..i fire at will…And bestie seems to stew…we are both learning from each other though, she laughs when i retell stories of convos ive had and wishes she could be so up front…rather than not talk to someone for days and i wish i could get a muzzle and hold back sometimes .. its good to have a friend you can grow with.

    So thank you,
    Respect and Appreciation.

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