So anyways, Venus is, mostly, about pleasure.
This is why Venus is said to be associated with money, food, love, relationships, connections, beauty- all the things that make us feel good, worthy, worthwhile.
When it comes to love, it’s our Venus sign that tells us the type of relationship that brings us sweetness, the way in which we attract someone into our sphere, and how we go about connecting with them- and remaining connected.
If only it were as simple as a Kylie song- eyes meeting across a crowded room, everything going from wrong to right and stars filling up the sky.
It stands to reason, therefore, that in order to understand this part of ourselves, we need to understand our Venus sign.
Some of us do- seemingly without effort. I’ll put my hand in the air as one who doesn’t. I was, therefore, extremely keen to read Jessica Shepherd’s latest book- Venus Signs.
Before I go further into this, an apology. Jessica sent me an advance copy of this and her other book Karmic Signs some months ago for me to read and review. I love Jessica’s style, so was thrilled when she asked me. I popped something up for Karmic Signs just before Christmas- and lost it when my website crashed. Life and deadlines have since got in the way, so I’m only just posting this one now…I’ll re-write my review for Karmic Signs later today…
Ok…to the book. Jessica promises that in this book, “you will discover the secret desires, love charms, erotic gifts, and shadow qualities inherent to your specific Venus sign.” You will.
Your Venus sign illuminates your feminine side, your empathic, receptive, sensual self who values harmony, pleasure, relaxation, and connection. Your Venus sign reveals how you express sensuality and what (and whom) you desire, enjoy, and find beautiful. It also describes how you connect emotionally with others and what prevents this connection from happening.
Your Venus sign reveals how you approach relationships and what you want most from your significant partners, lovers, and friends…
Our Venus sign tells us what is non-negotiable in our soul- mates—the most enduring relationships of our lives…
Our Venus sign inspires the sparks of love, and then works to keep love alive.
As I’ve said before, I don’t understand my Venus well. I don’t feel at home with her. I don’t feel as in touch with my feminine side, as comfortable with the art of dressing up, flirting and attracting as other women seem to do so easily. Sure, I’ve been married for what seems like forever, but that’s not how we got together.
I’m impulsive, selfish, wilful, independent and impatient. I’m also possessive, obsessive and intense- but I’ll run a mile if anyone tries to do the same to me. I don’t seek out harmony and sweetness and light.
I’ll admit to being envious as I watch other women do it so easily- even in the relationships other women have with each other. Oh, and I prefer to shop alone- my biggest retailing mistakes have been made either shopping with someone else or shopping without mirrors.
I’m not- and never have been- what little girls are supposed to be made of. I was a rugby league referee, for goodness sake!
Venus is in Aries in my chart. Venus is not comfortable in Aries. We know that. The aspects my Venus makes are not easy- a square to Jupiter and an in conjunct to Pluto and Uranus. Yet, in order to feel really good about myself, understanding Venus is key.
Jessica starts our journey through the Venus signs of the zodiac with a little something about the myth of Venus, the Aphrodite archetype, and, more importantly for me, how it can feel when you don’t identify with these.
Jessica explains how there are two sides to Venus- the Fairy Godmother and the Evil Queen. As I read through Venus in Aries, it became very apparent that the Evil Queen and I meet up for wine way too often!
It’s true- I crave passion and adventure, but rather than courageously pursuing it myself, I’ll create it through drama and conflict- and I’m a dirty fighter.
At the heart of much of it, I’m scared- of rejection, to trust. I’ll sign up for many things, but have somehow managed to successfully avoid facing up to these fears. Yet, this is critical to Venus in Aries- the concept of being a Warrior of Love:
A love warrior learns to be relentlessly honest about her fears, because without emotional honesty, she finds it difficult to trust. A warrior of love learns to honestly confront problems in her partnership instead of blasting someone with pent-up dissatisfaction or allowing on- going frustration to chip away at happiness. A warrior of love knows that we all disagree at times and we must learn to keep the peace by developing strategies for fighting fair.
The thing is, I actually like the archetype of my Venus- even as I’m rejecting her in favour of a more archetypical one… Venus in Pisces, or Venus in Taurus. I’d love to be Venus in Libra, but that would be to take away my Pisces-ness…
At the core of it, I think I’ve always known how to get in touch with my Venus. It’s why I love to move, to exercise, to sweat, to create. Even in the knowing, there’s a part of me that fights it and yearns to be more traditionally, well, soft and pretty…I guess.
After reading this, I also admitted a few other things:
- I’ll fight about the little things so that I can avoid facing what’s really wrong
- I’ll focus on what’s wrong- and in doing so, chip away at what’s right
- I’ll spend time working out how I can manipulate a result rather than just going after what I want
- I’ll launch into any challenge as long as it doesn’t involve exposing my emotional vulnerabilities
- I like to be alone
- I often don’t consider what my partner needs- it’s all about me
All of this comes down to courage- the ability to open up and face the good, the bad and the ugly.
I’m also insecure, sometimes out of control, sometimes difficult to be around, and often hard to handle. And you know what? That’s ok too. It’s who I am…it’s ok to be those things… and it’s ok to be those things in a relationship. In reality, my husband probably likes those things about me- even as it can be sometimes tough.
Venus Signs will help you find and make friends and peace with your Venus- if indeed you have peace that needs to be made. It will also help your find your erotic strength, and identify your love challenges- and some tools to work with. It will also give you some hints and tips on how to make friends with your partner’s Venus- I’ve just read all about my husband’s Venus in Libra.
Now I’m off to meet my Venus in the gym. We’re doing a Body Pump class- physical strength for inner courage, you see.
Venus Signs by Jessica Shepherd is available for $9.89 (USD) at Amazon or your local Amazon site.