The Real Thing- Saturn in Libra
Over the last couple of weeks I have been receiving more questions in the lines of these below:
My Gemini male friend said “I love you”.
My Taurus BMF is in love with me.
Should I sleep with my Scorpio male friend?
I have avoided answering them until now simply because:
- I really didn’t want to go here
- The actual signs are largely irrelevant in these questions, but may give you some indication as to the potential longevity or compatibility of the relationship :), and
- There is no right answer, and
- Relationship astrology is a complex field and an awful lot more complicated than “I’m a Cancer Sun and he’s an Aquarius and will be like in love for like ever?”
These questions do, however, remind me of a scene in When Harry Met Sally- no, not that one- where the question was raised: Can men and women ever be friends without the sex thing getting in the way?
You know what? I have absolutely no idea. I know how it has been for me, but that is from personal experience rather than any great astrological insight. I have always had male friends, a couple who have been extremely close, yet most of whom it would never occur to me to think of in that way, and I am sure none of who would think of me like that… But then again, I have been married forever and, given that I missed Flirting 101 in a move, I probably would be the last to notice anyway!
Whilst I haven’t been in love a lot, when I do, I have fallen quickly (Venus in Aries) and intensely (Mars in Scorpio). Yet, on all but one occasion (which was short lived, disappointing and heart-breakingly disastrous), the man involved was a friend that I suddenly realised was something more. But that is me. I was never great at the dating scene, had very little self-confidence and would never make the first move in case I was rejected. Friendships seem safer.
Eric Francis pointed out in a recent subscriber edition of Planet Waves (which, by the way is a great investment if you are studying astrology), when we date, it is often a case of her publicist talking to his publicist- essentially we present our Ascendant in its most favourable form and what we think his Ascendant may want to see. He went on to say that we often hesitate when it comes to taking a good friendship that next step. We bring our authentic selves to the coffee shop, so our friends know us as close to real as we can comfortably be…that makes us awfully vulnerable. Taking that relationship to the next level, if that is appropriate, is to risk the friendship itself. It can never be the same again.
Swapping war stories the other day a friend was telling me of a friend of a friend from Brisbane who had told her about meeting a guy from Melbourne on one of those islands in Queensland. A really attractive girl, she reduced her age (to below 40) and changed her occupation and the car she drove. She was furious when she found out that he had done a similar thing. Both had assumed that because they were so far from home, all that was on offer was a hook-up. So, her publicist told his what she thought he wanted to know & his did the same. Later she declared that the relationship had no future because she couldn’t trust him. He wasn’t the real thing- and isn’t that what we are all looking for- the Real Thing?
But what does all of this have to do with Saturn being in Libra? Quite simply, wherever Saturn is transiting is where we need to get real, where you need to show some maturity and build some lasting structures. The sign he is travelling through tells you how. Saturn is now in Libra. Libra is about partnerships, relating, balance and fairness.
Saturn is exalted in Libra. This means that he operates comfortably and with strength and purpose here. Libra understands that relating implies responsibility, balance and appropriate levels of compromise- concepts that Saturn can help with. Successful relating always requires some level of commitment and trust. It also requires a commitment to growth.
Wherever Libra rules in your chart is where these concepts are important. It is where you are now being asked to bring balance and an authenticity in relationships. If Saturn is transiting your 10th house, these concepts will become important in your work life. You may become involved in some type of collaborative effort to achieve an outcome. If Saturn is transiting through your 3rd, your relationships with siblings and neighbours will come under the spotlight. I will post more on each house in the coming weeks.
Balance and authenticity in relationships. Sounds simple. Taking this concept one step further is the bringing of Saturn principles of maturity and growth to these relationships. Relationships are living entities and change and grow over time. Sometimes the individuals within grow apart and a Saturn transit will prompt the realisation that the relationship has run its course. Sometimes the opposite occurs and you re-commit to that relationship.
Which brings me back to the initial question. From an astrological viewpoint, indeed from any viewpoint, there is no correct answer- just the answer that is right for you and the relationship that you are in. Look closely at your chart to find the area of life in which Saturn is asking you to examine the way in which you relate.
Whatever you decide, taking the step from catch-up to hook-up with a friend automatically implies commitment- how very Saturn in Libra. In a book I was reading last night Second Chance, by Jane Green, the following paragraph illustrates this:
“You can’t sleep with your best friend and then start dating, sharing your stories, seeing how it goes.
You can’t sleep with your best friend and be anything other than an immediate couple. There is no halfway measure. You sleep with your best friend and you have one of two consequences. Either way the friendship is over.”
All relationships formed under a Saturn transit are real, by their nature. Sure, there may be pain, it might not last, or then again it could be a forever thing. You will learn about growth, about balance and about fairness. It will be undoubtedly real.
I’ll leave you with some lyrics from a 1969 Aussie classic by Russell Morris The Real Thing:
Tryin’ hard to understand the meaning that you’ll see in me
There’s a meaning there, but the meaning there doesn’t really mean a thing
Come and see the real thing, come and see the real thing, come and see
I am the real thing!