The “Good on Paper” Relationship- Venus in Gemini

Pic by me
Pic by me

Last Sunday I found myself in the rare position of having absolutely nowhere that I had to be and nothing that I had to do. Sure, there were places and things that I should have been at or should have done, but I decided instead to take a “whatever” attitude and get over the guilt. So, I sat on the lounge all afternoon, got the ironing up to date and watched Absolutely Fabulous & Sex and the City.

You know how some people are convinced that there is an episode of Seinfeld or The Simpsons for every life event? I am like that with Ab Fab & SATC. I have never quite been able to decide whether Carrie in Sex and the City is Gemini or Libra. She is definitely the Air element in the show, and her love of designer clothes certainly points to Libra, but the absolute passion for words and her eclectic taste certainly points to Gemini. Venus in Gemini likes to put together things that don’t match, but somehow work.

Anyway, there is this episode of SATC in Season 4 where Carrie is sleeping with Ray, a jazz musician with whom she is having great sex hoping to turn it into a relationship. Ray is the quintessential Gemini- totally scatty, spontaneous, young and thrilling with a severe Attention Deficit.  But Carrie feels the mental connection is missing and she ends the relationship when it becomes obvious that Ray has “stopped playing her and moved onto another instrument”. Walking home from what she calls ADD (Another Dating Disaster) she ponders why they call it mind-blowing sex- perhaps that level of physical connection obliterates the chance of an intellectual one? “Great sex is great, but I still like the song of a melody I can sing to”.

When Venus is in Gemini the mental connection will always be more important than the physical or the emotional or the practical. As Carrie says- “What kind of a relationship could I have with a guy I couldn’t even talk to?”

Venus is where we find pleasure, what we like doing and who we like doing it with. Gemini is an air sign, so is social, mental rather than emotional, and idea based. Gemini is also mutable and needs variety and flexibility. If you have Venus in Gemini, you will like to browse, like to flirt and like to chat… a lot… with lots of different people about lots of different things. Venus likes the idea of a relationship sometimes more than love itself.

The ideal date for someone with Venus in Gemini would be plenty of witty banter, some great conversation, perhaps some bookstore browsing or a party. A romantic dinner in an expensive restaurant with a bottle of fine French champagne and roses will be totally wasted on Venus in Gemini. Unless the variety and the mental stimulation is there, the relationship that looks good on paper won’t last beyond the first couple of dates.

Venus in Gemini also has a not undeserved reputation of being fickle. Beating the boredom is why Venus in Gemini is able to juggle more than one partner quite effectively. The inconstancy is also due to their search for the theoretical ideal relationship. What looks good on paper proves quickly to not be so great in reality. When your idea of a perfect relationship can change quicker than the weather changes in Melbourne, the mind (and the heart) can wander just as quickly.

The trick to Venus in Gemini is to keep things interesting, keep him guessing, keep him curious and keep him texting.


  1. I’m venus in gemini and this is true for me! It’s all about talk, ideas, eclectic tastes. I’ve always understood that venus in gemini could be promiscuous and inconstant, but I never was. That might have made physical what is better off a mental process (to a gemini venus)??? My best guess.

  2. Hi Amelia, it is funny how it works out too- I have Uranus in the 7th & am supposed to be dreadfully inconstant- actually I am, but i am faithful 🙂

  3. I have Uranus in the 7th too! I guess I should be more slutty. I am always up for new ideas, just not new partners!

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