The Fine Line Between Pleasure & Pain- Venus Opposite Pluto

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A few months ago I posted a piece on the Venus/Pluto conjunction (Did the Earth Move For You?) Today we have the opposite end of the spectrum- Venus opposing Pluto. Given that I am in the middle of an office move at present and in my own little piece of personal hell, I figured that we should all take a little trip to the Underworld and explore this aspect in the birth chart.

With the opposition, all the challenging parts of Venus and Pluto apply. This is obsession, possession, passion and Machiavellian (like that word for early on a Saturday morning?) manipulation at its’ best.

If you have Venus opposite, square or even inconjunct (150 degrees) Pluto you will know about all of this. Likewise, if you have Venus in Scorpio or, to a lesser degree, Pluto in the 7th house or Venus in the 8th. For the record, I have Pluto in the 7th and Venus and Pluto exactly inconjunct. I admit it- I have control issues and difficulty in detaching or letting go and I do have a weird attraction to power plays…Venus/Pluto absolutely is at play in my relationships.

Venus/Pluto contacts are passionate and intense. They can be controlling, possessive, obsessive and jealous. They can manipulate their partner using love and sex. They can be transformative and they can be dark indeed. They are also brutally honest.

With these more challenging aspects, there may also be a difficulty in controlling desires. You want something or someone so very badly, so intensely, so extremely and so completely that all rational thought can fly north for the winter. It doesn’t matter whether what you want is free to come to you or whether it belongs to someone else…you can’t help craving it. You manipulate and play games until you get what you want- but have you really? Love and power become confused to the extent that your biggest fear may be in letting yourself be equal to another- only self confidence will allow you to completely trust another.

When you are in a relationship, your expectations can be ridiculously high- especially in regards to their honesty, fidelity and loyalty…yours may be a little more questionable. Quite often, your dark side emerges sometime into the partnership (although partnership is not often a word associated with Venus/Pluto). Be careful not to let the power games ruin what is still actually a good thing- the crappy stuff you see and obsess over is more than likely coming from within you, not him.

And when it is over? Regardless of whether it was unrequited lust, a single night of guilt ridden passion or a long term relationship, letting go is something that does not come easily to you- even when you are in pain. In some cases, it is the pain that reminds you that you feel, and the pain which you find yourself coming back for again and again.

I have Venus in Aries inconjunct my 7th house Pluto and I can obsess and hang on to the fantasy long past its end date and then suddenly wake one morning and it will be gone. If, however, your Venus is in a fixed sign (and especially Scorpio or Taurus) you may constantly be holding onto something that is not longer true or seeking a closure that simply doesn’t come.

You hate with as much passion as you love- Venus/Pluto revenge fantasies are as colourful as their sexual fantasies can be. There is indeed a fine line between pleasure & pain. In fact, your need for intensity can push you into relationships which you know are no good for you. The temptation may be to search for passion in a secret or forbidden way- perhaps with someone who is out of bounds or otherwise attached.

The upside of all of this intensity and passion is the potential for creativity and transformative experiences that comes from Venus/Pluto challenges. You know only too well what pain is like, and appreciate real love and pleasure all the more. When you are able to give yourself over completely, that is when the healing can start.

When Pluto meets up with Venus (Venus transits are normally quicker and therefore have unlikely to have long term impact) by transit, even if you are not by birth a Pluto type, you will be for the term of this transit. You may find yourself yearning after a married man, involved in something with power plays or indulging in something intensely secretive. You may also find it more difficult to control your thoughts, with desires for a person, relationship or whatever never far from your mind. If you already have Pluto/Venus contacts, the impact of this transit will magnify these.

As an example, a few years ago, Pluto (in Sagittarius) was trine my natal Venus. My natal Venus/Pluto aspect was activated, and the trine by transit just made what was happening, happen easier (and by “easier” do not read “pain-free”) …all the barriers were removed.

Don’t just look at your own chart here. Think about that of those you are in relationships with. A Venus/Pluto contact can happen through synastry. It can occur if you are involved with someone who has a Venus/Pluto signature. There may be someone in your life who forces you to see something about yourself that you wanted to keep hidden. There may be someone in your life that transforms you, brings you to life. There could be someone who helps you destroy something which is no longer good. There may be someone who you allow to control you, or manipulate you or possess you. If you look at the charts of these people, it is likely that you will find a Scorpio or Venus/Pluto aspect there…or even an 8th house contact by synastry. Have a think about it.

Venus/Pluto oppositions in synastry (ie your Venus is opposite his Pluto or vice versa…sounds a tad mucky when put like that…) the attraction can go between love and hate and right back again super fast. The relationship will be definitely volatile, possibly unrequited, but, if sexual in nature, undeniably and addictively intense. This is the sort of passion that will never be forgotten, the affair that you will compare all others to.

In any Venus/Pluto relationship, each partner’s deepest fears, insecurities and fantasies are dragged kicking and screaming out of the closet. In healthy relationships, this is change your life stuff. Where the motivations of one or the other are not so “pure”, passion can very quickly turn to pain and power struggles… and the Pluto person will usually hold the power, with the Venus person the “submissive” partner. This in itself can cause frustrations, jealousy and manipulation- staying together is as much a challenge as letting go.

So when Venus and Pluto hook up by opposition, it is very like that one night stand (the opposition often implies a coming together and pulling apart) or blazing short term affair that changed you in some way. The sex may have been incredibly good or incredibly bad- it doesn’t matter. What is important is the transformative experience- what you learned from it and how it has changed you…because it will have,.. changed you, that is!

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