My back is killing me.

Ok, perhaps that’s a little Piscean dramatization of the situation. But it is.

I’m finding it difficult to stand for longer than a few minutes without support. Walking is fine as long as I keep moving and don’t stop. It’s when I stop that the pain starts. That’s when I need to find something to lean on.

I’m no stranger to back pain- I’ve had it as a result of scoliosis since I was a teenager. Throw in a few horse falls over the years, and some other technical bits and pieces that you don’t need to know about and it’s something that is a constant.

It’s also something that for the most part I deal with sensibly (yes, I used that word), with regular visits to the chiro and regular exercise. It all strengthens the muscles to help support the spine and keep it where it needs to be.

Of late, my monthly chiro visits haven’t happened, my regular exercise has not happened, I can’t remember the last time I did a yoga class, and as for the swimming that I know I need. Nope. I haven’t provided my spine with the support and structure it needs. Plus I’ve put on weight again- just a couple of kilos, but without the muscle strength, that couple of kilos feels like an extra twenty my hips are having to support.

That’s the logical explanation, and it has a relatively easy fix- except for the lose weight part…but you get the idea.

But this is an astro page, so you’re going to ask me what transits I’m having.

Ok, here goes.

Saturn is trine the ASC, Jupiter is trine my Moon, Neptune is conjunct Mercury and Chiron is conjunct my ASC.

Nothing particularly nasty or difficult to deal with in there.

Chiron is all about old wounds, healing them, and using what you’ve learned to heal others. In my chart, Chiron is in the first house, nestled between my Sun and Moon. My Chiron story will therefore be about old physical hurts, and emotional wounds. I’ve found in the last few years that whenever Chiron has been active, what I get are physical manifestations of an emotional issue.

Like the other year when an old ankle ligament injury resurfaced as Chiron was conjunct Mercury. Ligaments are, of course, connective tissue, and at the time I felt like I had no emotional connections.

Saturn is natally in my first house, and I think I’ve said before, always manifests in something health related for me- that’s my Saturn story. Saturn also rules the bones, the spines, the structures and boundaries of the body. When Saturn was opposite my ASC and Sun a few years ago, it was a time when I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, so my shoulder collapsed, literally…well a few of the supportive muscles did, but you get the idea. Given that Uranus was also involved, it was sudden.

This one has been creeping up on me, steadily getting worse. That makes sense too- Saturn is chronic in nature.

But aren’t trines supposed to be supportive?

They sure are, they help things happen easier- good or bad.

Saturn trines, however, also, in my experience anyway, tend to bring with them fairly convincing hints- hints about supports and structure that are being overlooked or have gone missing.

It’s about addressing the issue now, or having a bigger, more challenging issue when Saturn moves to square that point in a couple of years time.

Get the idea?

With me, the lack of exercise, the failure to keep appointments, the self “medication” and weight gain- it’s all the shadow I run to when I’m under sustained periods of pressure or stress. I escape into a place where there are no boundaries, and in the process, tend to dissolve everything that quite literally keeps me upright. Emotionally, I’ve put myself under a mountain of pressure, but we don’t need to go into that here either. Suffice to say that rather than going outside of myself, I’ve gone inward.

See the Jupiter-Moon and Neptune-Mercury connections there?

We all have a shadow. We all run there when in stress. The trick is in being aware of it.

So, yes, all of this is telling me that I need something to lean on emotionally, I need to put my support structures and habits back in place, and do those things that keep me upright and functioning.

That’s the astro. If I want, I can blame it…or I can do something with it.

I’m opting for the latter- Saturn lessons are persuasive in that way.