Now, you all know I’m a watery type, right?
I do ok with water signs…usually.
I usually do ok with the Cancer Moon…although I have to admit to usually being a tad more emotional than I usually am, and a tad more likely to comfort eat. Usually I prepare for this and have a stock of recipes that I can use that make my belly feel full and comfortable, but don’t break my calorie bank.
I usually also don’t worry too much about what others are doing, what they’re achieving, and, more specifically, what I’m not. I’m usually able to celebrate success stories, and love love love hearing about great things that other people have to look forward to.
Note that I said usually?
This latest Cancer Moon seems to have picked up all my insecurities and thrown them up into the air.
I told you yesterday about my mini blow up? Right? Well, later in the afternoon I read about an acquaintance’s publishing success story and I found myself thinking, “why her and not me?” Then I found myself thinking, “she must know someone.” Then I found myself thinking, “this is so never going to happen for me.” Then I started looking for blame and excuses. Then I opened the fridge to pour myself a wine- even though it was only 4pm.
No. No. No. No. No. No. Seriously Jo?
What I was doing was reacting to the Venus squares (and opposition) I spoke about yesterday. I was heading into the shadow of the Saturn/Sun trine I spoke about yesterday. I was heading into classic Pisces victim behaviour.
I say that under a Cancer Moon, if you feel the emotions and the fear beginning to overwhelm you, you should move your body to shift the emotion. So that’s what I did. Even though I didn’t want to go, even though I wanted to wallow in self-pity, and even though it was registering 39deg (ie over 100F).
Thankfully Miss 15 had an afternoon swim squad session (it still being school holidays…will they ever finish?) so I had a reason to go to the gym.
On that cross trainer and treadmill, it felt as though I was sweating out all the negativity I’d been feeling. As my body got more tired, I felt stronger inside, and more able to fight again.
When I got home, I dropped that acquaintance a message of congratulations. It’s not her fault that a publisher picked up her book and passed on mine. As I wrote the words, I realised that I was pleased for her, and not just saying it. It’s truly lovely to see someone’s dream come true- and I know first hand, just how hard you have to work for that.
This Full Moon fell conjunct my 5th house Jupiter, trine my Moon, and trine Neptune. The Moon natally is in the first house and rules my 5th, Jupiter rules my 10th (and 1st) and Neptune rules my 1st house. I think that little episode could have been my Full Moon realisation.
The thing is, I have to work harder, push harder, and risk more. I have to intentionally go outside the trine and work that square (Venus/Jupiter) and those oppositions (Sun/Moon- Pluto/Uranus).
It will happen. I know it. Yesterday was just a blip.Moving on…nothing more to see here.