not the girl you think you are…

My cousin died last Friday- just a couple of days before she turned 55.

I don’t know her birth time, but the Sun moved into Aquarius just before midday on the day she was born. To me she was always a zany, happy woman with amazing curls, mad, big, red framed glasses (long before they were cool), red lippie and bright colours. My money is on Aquarius. Either way, she was taken way too young.

On Sunday we gathered at the Lions Den as an early celebration for my Mum’s birthday.  Some of the family was already up from Tumbarumba. I hadn’t seen them in, probably 8 years or so.

Neither of my uncles or their wives recognised me.

They recognised my husband, my two sisters, my sisters husband and my brother & his wife, but they didn’t recognise me.

The same thing happened at the funeral yesterday. My Dad’s side of the family is huge- he’s the 3rd youngest of 8. I kissed cousins hello and had to introduce myself.

None of them have changed- just got older, but I’d still know them anywhere.

In the car on the way home I was a little peeved.

‘Have I really got that fat?’ I asked hubby. According to the scales, I’m actually the same weight as I was 10 years ago.

‘No, it’s your hair,’ he said. ‘They all said to me that they didn’t recognise you because of your hair.’

Back then I was a good corporate citizen. I wore my dark hair cropped very short (I had done all my life). Now it’s sort of blonde, very long and extremely untamed.

‘But people change their hairstyle,’ I argued.

‘It’s not just your hair Darlin’, you look completely different.’ Apparently one of my cousins told him that I looked younger than I did 10 years ago.

That’s when it occurred to me- I haven’t seen them, any of them, since Uranus crossed my Ascendant.

When I got home I pulled out an old photo from then- I have changed. A lot. It’s like I’m a different person.

Uranus leaves my first house early in 2014. It’s been a wild ride. An exciting ride- at times a scary ride. But as I’m in the last year of the transit, I’m looking back at a completely different person with a different job, a different look, a different way of relating, a different home life.

I’m more alive inside now than I was back then. I’m living closer to my truth now than I was back then. The life I’m now living is more my life than the life I was supposed to be leading.

Along the way there’s been some shit, some challenges, some seriously dumb stuff done. But that’s also the point- you don’t change unless you become a little uncomfortable. And that’s what Uranus is best at.

2 comments

  1. When you said your husband called you “darlin'” I had a visual of him looking like Matthew McConaughey lol!
    I know what you mean about looking younger when you are happier – my husband is 50 and was chuffed the other day when someone thought he was 38. I like to think it’s because he’s married to me :o)

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