No Regrets


I have this theory that you can never go back… ever. The past is done and can’t be undone. Places and people that you miss can’t be unmissed; opportunities that you were too scared to grab hold of won’t be there again; things that you wish you had said or done differently.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t do the whole regret thing. In the immortal words of Robbie Williams:

No regrets they don’t work
No regrets they only hurt

You make the choices that you make and what happens after that is a function of that choice. If you did the thing you regretted not doing, then you would never have had the choice to do the next thing that you did do… does that make sense in a weird sort of way? As a result, no matter how stupid the action was in the cold sober light of day, I have never done anything that I truly wish I could undo. That doesn’t mean that I don’t wish I had said or done something differently to ensure the outcome was changed. And I have perversely wanted to regret things that I just can’t regret… again, it makes sense to me in a perverse type of way.

I know they’re still talking
The demons in your head…

You can never go back.

A few years ago my husband and I toyed with the idea of packing up and moving to Canberra. He had grown up there, our relationship started there and it seemed like a good idea to re-establish some sort of stability. Rather, I was thinking of packing up to start somewhere new, while he was talking about going back. Looking at it logically, we had been away for 15 years. In that time we had changed and our friends there had changed. We had all moved on. He had these visions that everything would be as it was back then- but there was no possible way it could be. We decided instead to move forward from where we are.

I have a friend originally from Perth who (reluctantly) moved back there a few years ago as a result of her husband’s work. The entire time she was there she wanted to be back in Sydney with her Sydney friends doing Sydney things and really did not get to appreciate what was on offer in her home town. When the new job didn’t work out, her husband bowed to the inevitable and moved them all back to Sydney… but it wasn’t the same. Her friends had new friends and new interests and new routines. She was welcomed back, but we had all moved on in different directions. Now she yearns for the friends she made in the last couple of months she was in Perth.

You can never go back.

During a Mercury retrograde period, we tend to go back in our minds. We remember, review, revise, rehash, relive and revisit people and events of our past. As with all retrograde motions, we go within and reintegrate. The house position and sign of Mercury in your natal chart will determine where this happens for you.

As with all transits, the natal house of Mercury will show the origin or beginnings of the event, the house through which Mercury is transiting will show the main theme and the houses ruled by Mercury in the natal chart will provide the outcome. (For more information regarding the interpretation of transits, you can’t go past Bernadette Brady’s The Eagle and the Lark).

I find that during a Mercury Rx period I dream both more frequently and more colourfully. The mini-series in my head is given free rein to memories and “could have beens” in a way which I tend to control at other times. My Mercury is in Pisces (the sign of dreams and fantasies), in the 12th house (the place of secrets, escape and self undoing), and rules both the 4th and the 7th houses in my chart, so it all makes sense to me that the Mercury Rx often manifests itself for me in events and people of the past, as opposed to other more obvious Mercury Rx effects such as those in my previous post. This particular retrograde motion is through my 7th house, so past relationships are definitely going to be reviewed at this time.

This whole process of integration or rather reintegration is valuable. It allows you to see things in perspective and enjoy those past events and mistakes for what they were. In doing so, we can either wish pointlessly for a repeat performance or choose to move on to another re word- resolution.

I would be really interested to hear from other 12th house or people with natal Mercury retrograde as to how the Mercury Rx period impacts you.

I will leave you with the rest of Robbie’s song “No Regrets”… quite fitting for Mercury moving back through the partnership sign of Libra…

I loved the way we used to laugh
I loved the way we used to smile
Often I sit down and think of you
For a while
Then it passes by me and I think of
Someone else instead
I guess the love we once had is
Officially dead


  1. that one touched a nerve. i might not be able to go back but i still can’t help but have some regrets.

    1. I have had a few email responses saying exactly the same. Sorry love, but it needed to be written… & read. Could have beens and should have beens are the sweetest & the saddest feelings in the world.

  2. makes me think of that SATC episode – coulda, shoulda, woulda

    I’ve always believed you do the best you can with what you have where you are – tomorrow you’ll know a little more than you did today and looking back it’s easy to see a ‘better way’. The best way is the one you see right now!

    Love your post Jo!

  3. right on target. great article my cousin ( my age ) died. regretting not having more contact. but so it goes.
    7th house virgo mercury ruler of 4th intercepted in 7th. my merc is at 24.42 the point of the opposition today. bouncing around a bit. merc rules my sun, uranus my asc and saturn my moon. you’d think i’d implode or something. showing a film tonight on the research being done in europe to make clays for building that wont require fuel to make bricks and plaster. old, new, channel. best i can come up with. still cant send you a direct message on twitter.


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