no regrets- they’re so last year…

gaining serenity. my feet, my pic.
gaining serenity. my feet, my pic.

New Years Eve is usually a time for looking back- that whole auld lang syne thing.

It is about taking stock of what has been achieved over the year, what hasn’t been achieved, what you’ve done, what you’ve not done. Who has come into your life, who has gone out of your life, who has come back into your life. Then there are the opportunities-the ones you’ve taken, the ones you’ve passed on, the ones you’ve pretended not to notice and the ones that slipped right on under the radar.

Sure there will be reasons, and excuses- there are always reasons and excuses, some valid, some just…well, excuses. And, if we are really being honest, most times we really are just kidding ourselves. As a Pisces, a super Pisces, there is very little about delusion, self imposed or otherwise, that I don’t know about.

As regular readers know, I have spent the last couple of weeks in Bali (more on that once I finish uploading all my photos). I used the time to place a full stop firmly under a lot of what had been under almost constant review and reflection for the last five years.

With the assistance of sun, many hours spent immersed in water, and a little too much liquid refreshment of the type that my liver no longer loves me for, I would like to think that the process of healing is well and truly underway. I’ve done all the looking back I intend to do, I’ve been mean to myself for way too long.

Healing takes many forms, and has many methods. Over the last 5 years, I have attempted to do it in a Pisces 12th house way and, trust me, 12th house self-undoing comes a little too naturally to me.

Oak trees do it by compartmentalising the part of them that is hurting or injured. I know this because someone came into my website the other day after asking the question of google “are oak trees good at compartmentalising?” Apparently I used all the words in a single post once. Anyhow, I’m not good at it, compartmentalising, that is. I wish I was. That would involve boundaries, and that is another thing I’m not good at. I’d like to be.

There’s this ceremony called Perang Api or “War of Fire” that takes place in Saren Village in the Karangasem Regency in East Bali. I read about it in the magazine (Bali Now) that was in our room at the resort.

Anyways, the “war” sees two groups of people- both adults and children- hurling hot, burning coconut shells at each other. All the lights are off, leaving the scene in complete darkness, lit only by the fire from the burning shells. Apart from making the scene very photogenic (I have no idea how I would light it for photos), the point is that if and when a participant is hit, he/she wouldn’t be able to see who dealt the blow so that there would be no vengeance. Now there’s an idea- Scorpio?

The whole ceremony is supposed to symbolise purification- a burning away of negative energy. According to the article, the ritual is said to imply the war against six enemies of man: lust, greed, anger, drunkenness, confusion and envy. Hmmmm, personally I prefer the healing idea.

In any case, the whole concept here is one of healing and reflection- however it is that you choose to do that.

This New Year, I feel a lot of things, and for the first time in a number of years, one of those things that I’m feeling is not stress. Nor is it obsession, or regret or what could have been. In Bali I felt closer to being at peace with myself and the future than I have in years. I am hopeful that feeling will last longer than my tan or the dye in the many string bracelets I am wearing around my ankle to remind me of the Bali feeling.

This New Years Eve I’m not reflecting, I’m not looking back. I have a bottle of expensive French champagne that hubby bought me to celebrate my redundancy with and I intend cracking that open with my neighbour tonight in a belated Christmas, end of work and New Years Eve celebration. Celebration being the key word here.

Sure New Years Eve is a time for setting resolutions, or goals. Most of us have made a declaration at midnight NYE along the lines of what we are giving up, what we are going to lose. What about this year looking forward? What about this year thinking about what there is to gain? What about this year being excited by our resolutions rather than resigned to them?

At midnight tonight in Sydney the Moon will have just moved into Aries and just concluded a conjunction with Uranus. Aries just wants to get on with it, to march into battle, to go where no man has gone before, to hunt down his quarry, to just flipping do it. Aries does not want to look back- that is so yesterday. Aries does not want excuses, nor is he interested in hearing them. Uranus is interested only in authenticity and individuality. Neither Aries or Uranus are interested in yesterday- tomorrow is what counts.

Also this New Year Saturn and Neptune come to an arrangement by way of a supportive trine. Everything we have been through, everything we have endured all contributes to what you know, what your understanding of your limits is. Neptune represents ideals, reflection and beliefs, Saturn is about your reality, your commitments and responsibilities. It is also about sobriety- a word not normally associated with New Years Eve.

All too often these two things are so far out of alignment that it seems impossible they can ever be otherwise. To bring ideas into reality all too often involves denying some part of yourself, sacrificing something you believe in. That isn’t the case now. Especially not if you have planets or chart points at or around 27-30 Aquarius or Libra.

In other words, no matter what declarations or resolutions come out of your mouth at midnight tonight, make sure they are forward focused, represent your vision and your individuality. Use what you have learned to turn your ideals into reality. No excuses, no regrets- they don’t work. No regrets, they only hurt. Come tomorrow they will seem so yesterday…OMG I am quoting both Robbie Williams and Hilary Duff in the same post…must be time for the first of those New Years Eves drinkies.

Until next year…