No Regrets


This post could very easily have been called “Ghosts of Relationships Past”, but given my unfortunate habit of using song titles…

What does Venus mean to you?

Is she about art, beauty and serenity? Perhaps she is all about love, romance and fantasy? Or maybe Venus is how you feel about yourself, whether you feel that you are worth something or deserving of little?

Maybe your Venus style is comfort, being ready to charge into battle at a moments notice, perhaps you are a quiet quality girl or a flashy label chaser. Maybe you are a push up bra, push up heels, the worlds a catwalk kind of girl. Maybe your style doesn’t make you feel comfortable…maybe it isn’t really You.

Are you a mad shopper for no reason but to simply shop? Are you seduced by a package, a gift offer, a promise of perceived luxury? Do you shop on impulse or only after careful consideration?

And what of your relationship style? Do you fall for the same type every time? Do you believe and believe and believe again until you can believe no more? Is the way you feel about yourself tied up in the way you relate to others? Do you have a “Mr Big” that you rush to repeat past mistakes with the minute you get that text?

Perhaps your relationships fail at the same point every time. Be honest, is this something that you are doing unconsciously? Perhaps as he pulls closer you pull away ever so slightly, but enough for him to think you are no longer interested. Perhaps you chase and chase until you land him and then plead that he is trying to own you once he starts calling once a day.

Maybe the closeness and fear of having your heart broken again simply scares the crap out of you, so it is easier to run before that happens. Maybe it is easier to leave or find a reason to leave before he does. Maybe you so desperately need to belong that you hold on tighter and tighter and tighter until he can no longer breathe…

And remember that these descriptions hold true for both sexes.

Venus themes intensify around the station. I read something somewhere (and apologies, but I can’t remember all the details, but it sounds pretty right) that if you fall in love at the station direct, it will be a pretty deep, meaningful and intense relationship. Magical almost. Apparently this time is ripe for coupe de foudre: love at first sight, a bolt of lightening.

During any retrograde, we go inward for a time to process what that particular planet has to teach us. In the case of Venus, this is largely around money, relationships, trust and self-esteem issues- and our patterns, perceptions and habits in relation to these issues.  Given that this retrograde is happening in Gemini it will be more like “we need to talk” or “about last night”.

Things that you do around Venus themes Every Single Time will come up in one way or another over the next 6 weeks or so. They may not be relationship patterns, but perhaps patterns in the way you treat yourself or spend your money or trust others. But they will come up.

Don’t be surprised if old relationships come back to haunt you during this period. You may physically bump into an ex or simply find yourself dreaming of and thinking of them. Let yourself go with that. What could have beens are normal and any meeting just may be an opportunity for closure or clarity.

The “rules” and “re”-words that are important during a Mercury retrograde can be applied to Venus as well, but in terms of Venus themes and activities, here are some ideas, hints and possibilities:

  • When buying, beware. Just as you would check a contract during a Mercury period, do the same under a Venus retrograde. Venus is also about your personal resources, so be careful not to sign yours away or commit your resources above that which you can afford.
  • Which brings me to the 2nd point: when buying, beware of over-commitment. This is not the time to be increasing your credit card. It is, however, a great time to review your personal spending.
  • When reviewing personal spending and credit contracts be realistic about your lifestyle needs and habits. Don’t think you will be happy to watch the paint dry and reality TV every night for the next 2 years so that you can buy that designer gear when you know damn well that to do so would be the end of life as you know it.
  • Before tearing off on a shopping spree, review your wardrobe requirements, realistically. Don’t buy that great dress that is still hideously expensive at 50% off if it doesn’t fit you right now (trust me on this one J) even if you think it will look great when you have lost those last 15kgs- your credit card will love you for it.
  • Venus retrograde is not a great time for cosmetic surgery- that’s all I’m going to say on that one! In fact, it’s not a great time to make any wholesale changes to your hair-style or colour either.
  • Perhaps your Venus lesson is around your personal style. Maybe you have outgrown yours? Now could be the time to research what colours and shapes make you body and heart sing. If you really have no idea (and lets face it, many of us don’t), check out your local shopping centre or directory for shopper help or personal stylists- they aren’t just for celebrities and can save you a fortune in bad decisions….just don’t buy up big until after the RX, now is planning time.
  • A Venus retrograde period is not the time to start a new relationship. Nor is it necessarily the time to finish one. It is a great time to review the relationship you have and how that relationship makes you feel about yourself. How you feel during the retrograde may be very different to how you feel afterwards…a bit like a one night stand, I guess.
  • This is a great time to renegotiate existing commitments or issues in existing relationships. And that’s a good thing.
  • But what if it just happens, I hear you ask? …these things do… Think like you would during Mercury retrograde- don’t rush in to commit yourself until you have been through all the fine print. This person may have come into your life in order to help you go within, maybe show you a new way to resolve an old problem…and could show you a whole lot of new and inventive ways of doing it!
  • Existing relationships may be tested, so apply the filter in need to avoid any miscommunication.
  • If a relationship is started when Venus is retrograde, it may have similar qualities to the natal Venus retrograde position- feelings and emotions may be felt, but may not be expressed easily. The relationship may feel insecure or misunderstood.

One of the most annoying habits astrologers have is to ask you to think back to a time when a similar planetary alignment was happening and examine the themes that were prevalent. Whatever. It is easier for us, because we work with an ephemeris and a very heavy dose of hindsight.

However, if you can recall, think about what was happening in your life during May 2004- the last time Venus was retrograde in Gemini and notice over the next few weeks whether there is a repetition of any of these themes.