lines of control…

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I’ve got retrograde Saturn sitting on my South Node at the moment.

Because Saturn natally is in my 1st house, Saturn transits for me tend to manifest in health issues.

This time around it’s the return of an old enemy- asthma.

It feels quite literally as if my breath has been taken away- and not in a good way. Given that this is also aspecting my 12th house Mercury, and Mercury is associated with air, this is a textbook manifestation for me.

Last December when Saturn passed this spot, the same thing happened.

My Dad was sick, my cousin was terminally ill, and it was if I couldn’t say anything.

A similar thing is happening now.

A dear dear friend is going through something phenomenally shitty and there is absolutely nothing I can do to ease their pain, except be there for them- if and when they need me to be. I feel powerless (hardly surprising given that Saturn is also close to my natal Mars) and blocked.

Today I went to see my acupuncturist and she commented that quite a few of my energy lines, or chi lines, were blocked.

I joked that they were probably full of beer, but she quite seriously told me that the last time she saw me like this was late last year when Nan was dying, when dad was diagnosed. I am a control freak, and these last 6-9 months have presented me with things that I can’t control.

Again, that’s textbook typical of a Saturn 8th house transit.

The thing is, the aspects being formed are trines, so in theory, this is nothing that I can’t handle, but rather messages that I need to be listening to.

Lisa, my acupuncturist, told me that one of the lessons I need to be listening to is that of learning patience and when to let go. She reminded me that each of my asthma incidents over the last few years have coincided with times when I’ve felt out of control- not stressed, but trying to control an outcome. Yes, you guessed it, the nodal conundrum.

The thing is, no matter how deeply I love my friend, I can’t take the pain away from them- the same as they can’t take it from the person they are supporting. I can’t control what’s happening there- no one can. All I can do is support my friend so they can support their person.

Today when Lisa stuck one of her needles in my wrist, I felt a whoosh of energy from that point all the way through my body and out the big toe. The same thing happened on the other side with a different point. It was as if whatever was blocking those channels was cleared suddenly.

So were my lungs.

The first of my monthly newsletters went out this afternoon- were you on the list?

Also, I no longer post any astro on my personal facebook page, but always have some discussion or another happening on the Jo Tracey Astrology page- maybe I might see you there?