When we’re in stress we tend to do one of two things (other than lie on the floor in a foetal position and sucking our thumbs, of course):
We unconsciously move towards our shadow. This is that part of our sign that when it’s held up for the world to see is the part that people will say things like, ‘oh yeah, Pisces- couldn’t make a decision to save their life,’ or ‘oh yeah, Pisces- runs away and doesn’t face consequences.’ Don’t look at me like that- every sign has it’s shadow.
We consciously move towards our opposite sign. In my case, that’s Virgo. I try to bring order into chaos…I told you about that the other day.
Sometimes things get so far out of balance that I move past that point- past the opposite, into the shadow of the opposite.
That was me yesterday.
For the last 5 weeks I’ve finished a 7am- 6pm day, and started all over again after dinner each night. I’ve also worked most of each weekend. Somehow I’ve met every deadline that I had to meet. I’d also got the housework up to date, kept every social and family engagement I’d previously committed to and maintained my exercise regime. To keep it all together, I had to rely on my Virgo side. Aside from being strung out from the pressure, I was tired beyond belief. I’d tipped from chaos to control to no control, but chaotically trying to control everything that was uncontrollable.
On Monday night, I arrived home to find that I’d been excused from jury duty for the following day. Instead of feeling relief, or maybe because the relief was so extreme, I melted down. Completely.
In my behavior on Monday, I recognized the shadow of Virgo- the martyr, trying to do too much myself, aiming for a perfection that was impossible. I recognized it as I was in the middle of it, but felt trapped in it- unable to let any of it go.
On Tuesday morning, I looked at the structural edit that I’d finished, but was still tweaking, and said aloud. ‘Enough. You’re as good as I can get you right now.’
I pressed the send button and sent it off to my editor. I also took off my fitbit for a couple of days, so I couldn’t beat myself up over that one too.
The Pisces/ Virgo axis is that area where we work so hard for absolute perfection that we forget all about moderating behaviours and pleasures. It is also this axis where we project our own imperfections (or perceived limitations) onto those around us. It is where we discriminate and where we are completely indiscriminate.
Through the oppositions in my chart, I live this axis every single day. My harshest critic is myself. I rarely judge others, but judge myself constantly.
I had to deliberately step back this week and declare things to be good enough, accept that I can’t be perfect, that my work isn’t perfect, my routine is not perfect and my mood is far from perfect.
This week I’ve had to deliberately let things be as they will be- even though they are far from perfect.
This Full Moon is about this dichotomy. Where 14 Virgo 50’ (or thereabouts) falls in your chart is where you seek perfection, idealise perfection, worry about the niggly concerns that mar what would otherwise be perfection.
It’s also where you need to learn to embrace things the way that they are, in all of their textural imperfections. It’s where you need to learn to let it be.
Full Moons are culmination, completion points. They can be endings rather than beginnings. They are spotlights, high beams on something that you just haven’t seen. Often it’s a realization, a light bulb moment. Sometimes it’s an event, although often times that “event” is nothing more than you suddenly knowing something that you’ve sort of always known.
Sometimes, it’s a gentle awareness, sometimes a meltdown, sometimes something in between.
For a refresher of the steps, check out this post.
- If you have planets at 12- 17 degrees of Virgo, they will be conjunct the Full Moon
- If you have planets at 12-17 Pisces, they will be opposite the Full Moon
- If you have planets at 12-17 Gemini or Sagittarius, they will be square the Full Moon
- If you have planets at 12-17 Capricorn or Taurus, they will be trine the Full Moon
- If you have planets at 12-17 Scorpio or Cancer, they will be sextile the Full Moon
- Don’t forget to include chart points as well (ie house cusps- especially the 1st, 4th, 7th & 10th).
In my case, this Full Moon falls across my ASC/DC axis. It’s also square my Midheaven.
In the background, transiting Uranus, Venus and Jupiter are all trine my Midheaven, and Pluto is sextile my Ascendant. Although trines and sextiles are “easy” aspects, it just means that what is happening is happening easily. This one is a powerful one, and, in my case, I’ve had to break down in order to see what I want clearly. Now it’s up to me what I do with that.
In the meantime? I’m back in Pisces, and dreaming of my happy place, imagining my next book, and considering the possibilities of what comes next- even if it’s not perfect.
Why not try it for yourself?