We have a huge cedar sideboard in our dining room. It takes up most of the wall and is, in reality, way too big for the room, but I was going through a phase about antique furniture at the time. I think the progressed Moon was in Cancer in the 4th house…or something like that.
Anyways, I dusted this too big for the room sideboard the other day as I was trying to avoid finding room for the glassware that had been sitting on the dining table since Christmas. Don’t look at me like that- I have bad knees, and the space between the table and the sideboard is tight and…I said it was too bid for the room!
It was then that I noticed two things:
- Just how much we have store in that sideboard that I’ve obviously labelled as being Special Enough to be stored in the sideboard, and
- Just how long it’s been since we’ve used anything other than the champagne flutes that I was now trying to find room for … my everyday wine glasses live in the kitchen- it’s complicated.
It’s one of those too big for the room sideboards that has three doors. Glassware takes up one of those, but in the main part lives, amongst other things, at least three full dinner sets:
- A noritake fine china set (for 8) that we bought when we first moved in together- about 25 years ago. I was in my 20’s, he was nearly 30, and our friends were couples, but not yet kidded out. The idea of having proper dinner parties seemed grown up, and more than a little posh. It hasn’t been used in at least 15 years.
- A blue and white Spode setting (for 8) that is used a couple of times a year- for the meals we designate as being Special enough to be eaten at the posh table with the posh china.
- An Alfred Meakin dinner set (for 8) that I acquired piece by piece during an ebay sourcing whirlwind. It’s in four different colour ways in a pattern known as Tintern. It’s heavy, vintage and very English. It’s also supposed to remind us of a day we spent at Tintern Abbey in Wales back in 1995.
The same story applies to the porcelain cup/saucer/plate sets in my display cabinet- about 20 of them. Some were given to me by my grandmother, the rest were purchased during the same ebay whirlwind. They’re perfect for the afternoon tea parties with cupcakes and scones that I’ll never have.
While it’s lovely, we don’t need most of this. But my husband says:
‘You never know when you’ll need it’
‘Remember that day in Tintern?’
‘It all has sentimental value.’
The thing is, I don’t need to dust these things to remember the feelings that prompted me to buy them or hold on to them. On the contrary, I never look at them, and hubby doesn’t give them a thought until I suggest de-cluttering. Besides, he is Taurus Rising.
So, I’ll be gradually letting of much of it- gently and thoughtfully. And yes, I’m well aware this is a first world problem.
My point? Most of us have too much of something. For a rainy day. In case we run out. In case we don’t have enough… or are enough.
Sometimes it’s the very act of holding onto something, gathering up something, or purchasing something that makes us feel safe, secure, and fed.
We can also be attached to feelings, to a hair style, to the past. We can be attached to the way things are, the way things were or the way that we think they might be. We can be attached to a dream, a hope, or a vision. We can be attached to a lost love, the idea of love, the fantasy of a love. Some of us can even be attached to feeling sad, negative and fearful.
Not everything that we hang onto is, by definition, good. How many people do you know of in unhealthy relationships for whatever reason? How many people do you know who will listen to good advice and then pop their own roadblocks or excuses up? I’ll be the 1st to put my own hand up for that one- on a number of different levels.
Getting rid or letting go of what we are attached to can be scary as it removes an excuse for moving forward. Holding onto that clutter or baggage can weigh you down physically or symbolically. It is there in the friend who insists on closure from her ex before saying yes to the guy standing in front of her. It is there when we hold onto a job long past its use by date because the current one, for all its faults, makes us feel safe. It’s there when we hold onto a pair of jeans that are 2 (or is it 3?)sizes too small because throwing them out is almost like abandoning the idea that we will ever fit into them again.
At the end of the day, those jeans really are just jeans (no pun or inadvertent advertising intended) and getting rid of them is not an admission of failure. It is acknowledging that they are taking up valuable room in your wardrobe that can be filled with something fabulous and new when you do drop those 2 sizes.
It’s the knowing when to let go, when enough is enough, when less is more, that’s the hard bit. Yet, in letting go, there is the peace of just being. At that point we now we are enough, we are self reliant, our satisfaction coming from inside us rather than from the “things” and habits we have gathered around us…and that’s what this Taurus New Moon (and Solar Eclipse) is all about.
Easier said than done, of course, and more so under a fixed sign Moon…but let go we must.
Somewhere in your chart is Taurus, and where 8 Taurus falls is where you need to let go of something… In my case, this New Moon falls in my 2nd house…and conjunct the north node. This one for me is about income, possessions, values and self-esteem. The intentions I set now will be based on these areas. High on my list will be that sideboard and its contents. Time to move into the future with less.
New Moon and Solar Eclipse early hours of the morning on Tuesday for those of you in New York, late hours of Monday evening if you’re in LA, late on Tuesday afternoon if you’re down this way, and in between if you’re anywhere else…
This Moon is also a Solar Eclipse. April Elliott Kent’s Moonshadow reports are personalised for you and contain eclipse information for last year, this year and next year. Good, hey? And even better- you can order them via the link on the sidebar…