Leave me alone, I’m lonely….


Tuesday 27 August

Moon in Taurus

A friend posted the picture above on her Facebook page yesterday morning.

I suspect I could ask this question of 10 friends and get 10 different answers- and a number of extremely judgemental responses.  The answer I get, the answer you’d give, would be determined, at least in part by your Venus and her relationship to Uranus in your chart.

Venus/Uranus contacts bring with them a compulsion to share your individuality with another, to be yourself with another. And yes, that does make sense….and yes, it is possible. It’s the nature of the aspect involved that will provide information as to how easy (or otherwise) you find this.

When difficult aspects are involved ie the conjunction, the square, the opposition or the inconjunct, you may find it difficult to resolve the tension between the concept of relationship and the concept of individuality.

The conjunction, I hear you say… surely the conjunction isn’t difficult? When Uranus and Venus are involved, it absolutely has the potential to be. Venus, after all, is, amongst other things, about relating, and Uranus…well, Uranus is not. In many cases, the motivation of the two planets is different…in many cases.

I remember when I first started studying, someone (who should have known better) looked at my chart, saw Uranus in the 7th in opposition to the Sun and Moon and inconjunct Venus and asked me how many times I’d been married. Hmmm.

Anyways, when Venus and Uranus are in difficult aspect, you may find that you become easily bored in relationship, that you need more variety and experimentation in order to feel completely satisfied. Indeed you might find that within a relationship you might need to reinvent yourself or the way in which you commit in order to, well, stay committed.

This is the mood that’s in the air right now as Venus opposes Uranus.

The thing is, the whole flush of excitement and newness can’t last- not forever- that’s part of what makes those moments so amazing. But there are moments of wonderful to be found in even the longest and most familiar relationships- if you’re prepared to find them, and if this is important to you. Perhaps it’s not.

Also, you can be in a relationship and still maintain your own identity- if you’re prepared to do so, and if this is important to you. Perhaps it’s not.

That’s the message of this opposition- how to balance your need for individuality and space (Uranus in Aries) against the idea or ideal of what relationship should be (Venus in Libra). Your idea…not that of your best friend or your parents or society or the church or the state. Yours. No judgement.

It might be that your relationship may be conducted on more unconventional grounds than others. It might be that you’re no longer prepared to fight or fight for it, or it might be that after a period of apart you’re ready again to be close. It might mean that stability is your motivator so you’re prepared to look for excitement in creative or career endeavours. It might mean all of these things or something very different. We’re all different- as are our relationship and identity needs- despite what society may have conditioned you to think.

In any case, this transit is short-lived- unless it is part of something bigger happening in your chart.

Tomorrow Venus squares Jupiter. Despite the square, this transit is one that’s both self indulgent and strangely conducive to personal relationships…so here’s me thinking that you’ll probably be able to get your own way- if you’re clever about it. If you’re feeling a little stuck in a rut, find something that you both enjoy doing, and give yourself up to some fun.

Oh and my answer to the question? That would be telling…


  1. this is me, my relationship, and it seems to be hitting a crisis right now, this week! it is a four year relationship, living apart, loving living apart and loving my own space (him too) but missing one another like crazy and wanting to be together but knowing we can’t live together… after we were engaged I was happy to just be engaged but people keep asking ‘when are you getting married’ so there’s the pressure from others for us to be what they envisage.. came to a head on sunday… i was feeling confused because we did not fit the picture of an engaged couple (a few of our friends, engaged after us, have already set a date and picked a dress…), yet i know in my heart that i am happy not living with him and i have no great urge to dress up like a fairy and conform – i saw this as a sign we were not meant to be together, so i told him i wanted us to split so i could find that person i could do the conforming thing with, find a relationship that looked like it was ‘supposed’ to. but after some thinking and talking i think we can figure it out if we can come up with something that fits us and lets us maintain our autonomy while keeping the amazing friendship, amazing physical relationship, amazing fun we have together, when we are together. missing one another because we love one another and yet still having our own place apart. my venus is in aries and i have just looked (never checked before) and so is his…. not sure of the impact of this 🙂

    1. Aries Venus needs space- fire doesn’t like to be contained. The trick is in working it out together- sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve managed over 20 years & it’s because my Scorpio hubby supports my need for space knowing that when I come back I’ll come back closer. Naturally I have to compromise too- that’s always the case. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s not. My Venus is Aries, his is Libra. You guys do it the way that you want to & the way you need to- regardless of what everyone else says…& I hope you make it.

  2. Great article…I read this after I had a Eureka moment of my own …that is: that I have not been honouring my natal Venus, and boy she aint happy…and she’s heavy !!

    I have Venus in Aries…and woke the other day in a panic mode as it hit me that if I were to stay in the same relationship the same way for another 5 years or even for the rest of my life, I was going to die inside…and then I read your article,..:)

    Of course the current transit of Venus through Libra also means im having Venus op Natal Venus…so it;s double shot of Venus, who is my rulling planet too…now now to find a way to honor my Venus, let’s hope Uranus can shake it up a bit so that I find a happy medium..:)

    1. So many Aries Venus’s commenting in the same way. I’ve never put this into a post, but I should- Venus is the way to Uranus…& yes, that makes a certain sort of sense.

    2. If it helps, Venus in Aries is one chick who can make the changes she needs to happen…I’ll leave you with that one…:)

      1. maybe all the Venus in Aries chicks should form a support group…lol. Dont think i know any males with this placement…had a chuckle when you wrote ” venus is the way to Uranus”…the mental pics were hilarious..:)

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