I’ve been like a bear with a sore head for the last day or so. You know the mood – spoiling for an argument, feeling tired in my bones, overwhelmed, unable to focus. I’ve felt as though there’s too much my brain is trying to manage so now it’s leaking words, ideas, and whatever else.
Sure, there’s a lot on – but there always is, that’s no excuse. The difference at the moment is that I’m feeling frustrated with myself. As if there are ideas and opportunities out there that I want to rush and grab but have neither the means, the time nor the preparation to do that.
I recall feeling a little like this last year when Jupiter changed signs too – that time from Libra to Scorpio. I couldn’t wait for the energy to change – for it all to get started.
Before I do – get started that is – there’s time for a self-indulgent recap of what Jupiter in Scorpio meant for me.
Last year I wrote this:
Jupiter is about expansion and learning through experience. Jupiter is also associated with abundance, travel, publication, broadcasting, teaching, higher learning and vocational learning, spirituality, gurus…I could go on.
Scorpio is about intensity, hunger, and those deep emotional almost soulful connections. When a planet is in Scorpio there’s no hiding and things can’t be taken at surface value. When a planet is in Scorpio things that relate to that part of life have a habit of being exposed.
If we put this together, we’re looking at experience, but on a deeper level.
Scorpio can also be about fear and holding onto something that needs to be let go of. For this reason, some of us may find the Jupiter in Scorpio transit a tad harder than it was in Libra. It could also mean that unless you’re prepared to face that which you’re afraid of more of you might end this transit without having taken advantage of the opportunities Jupiter has to offer.
When Jupiter was in Scorpio he was in my 9thhouse – travel, experience, publishing, spirituality, higher education. So, how did it pan out?
It’s been a busy 12 months and one in which I published…nothing. I did, however, write 2 novels – one will be out next week, and the other I’m editing at the moment – I also have another ready for publishing in January.
I had intended to package up and tidy up my astro content and put it into ebooks and online courses. I listed out which books needed to be written, their structure and content. And then I did nothing. A million and one very good excuses got in the way.
Ultimately though, it was fear that held me back – fear that no one would pay the small amount that I’d be charging, fear that what I write won’t be what people want to read, fear that my work won’t be worth anything. It’s a sort of fear that I don’t experience with my fiction – even though there is a teeny little bit of me in every character and even though not enough people pay for that either.
With my fiction I’m telling a story – that’s where the value is – with non-fiction, though, I have this feeling that I need to devalue my work in order for there to be a perceived value to someone else. I never said there was any sense or logic in it.
To be honest, I’m still not sure why I’m so afraid of publishing astrology – a subject for another time, perhaps. The fear was so real though that I even pulled back from writing anything astrology related – hence my regular absences from this blog.
As for travel, I did plenty of that. It was real Scorpio 9th house travel too – slowly, getting under the covers, really experiencing. The highlight was 3 memorable weeks driving around a few selected regions in France – eating, exploring, practising my (very bad) French, learning.
New Year was spent in Fraser Island – a world heritage sand island not too far from us – and a place I’d always wanted to experience. There were weekends in Melbourne, the usual work and family trips back to Sydney, a 3000km road trip from Queensland down into the NSW Snowy Mountains, and a mini break exploring another region in South East Queensland while staying under canvas – glamping not camping, and another first-time experience.
I contemplated taking a formal course in…something…before realising that I had enough unfinished projects on the go without impulsively jumping into something else that I probably wouldn’t complete. Probably a wise decision.
The main point of 9th house transits isn’t just to study, travel, publish a heap of books or explore your spirituality. What transits through this part of the chart are really about is learning at what Stephen Arroyo refers to at an “identity level”. More specifically, gaining self-awareness through experience, space and widened horizons.
I might not have achieved everything I would have wanted to achieve over the last 12 months. But through both what I have done – in particular through the places I’ve visited and the things I’ve done for the first time – and what fear held me back from doing I have certainly learnt and understood more about myself along the way.
One last point – I mentioned hunger before… As anyone on a diet knows, cravings can be strong – and can, if not managed, lead to binges before you know it. Your hunger doesn’t necessarily need to be for food, but through fear, that’s exactly how you might end up trying to assuage it. After all, Jupiter wants to expand you in some way – just take care that it’s not your physical body being expanded.
Okay, so I haven’t actually put on weight this year, but I have, in true Scorpio fashion, held onto what I already had – quite tightly, as a matter of fact. I’ve learnt about myself through that too – both about why I’m reluctant to let go of the extra kilos (fear again) and why I turn to food. I’ve come to realise that I’m not so much a comfort eater, but a boundary eater. I look to food when my boundaries feel too tight, when I feel as though I have no freedom or am being held back or in danger of missing out or, more importantly – when I’m too scared to extend past my boundaries.
Naturally, though, knowing and understanding something and actually doing anything about it are 2 very different things. Transits through the 10th house are, however, more about action than learning – and that’s what the next 12 months will be about…
How was Jupiter in Scorpio for you? Did you learn anything? Experience anything new? How have you grown in the last 12 months?
I’ve updated the Jupiter page for the ingress into Sagittarius. We’ll talk more about what this might mean next time.