“I wish I’d never met you more than I could dare to let you go”

Jealousy, Pet Shop Boys

Full Moon 16 Scorpio, Sunday, May 6, 1.36pm (Sydney time)

The Full Moon is like a high beam. The Full Moon in Scorpio has a nasty habit of exposing secrets and fears. But this isn’t just any normal Full Moon, this is a Super Moon (in that it is relatively close to the Earth, so amazingly full) and a Super Moon (in that it is mega emotionally charged).

With the Sun in the opposite sign Taurus, control and trust issues also come to the surface. Taurus is about retention and Scorpio elimination. Are you holding onto something that you no longer need? Maybe there is some truth lurking just beyond plain sight- something you know is there but simply don’t want to face. Under the Scorpio Full Moon it is time to find it, deal with it, get rid of it, move on. If only it were that easy…

Scorpio is that shadowy place where we pack away all of our deepest fears and our deepest desires. It is everything we repress, keep a lid on, hide away, yearn for. Scorpio is pleasure and it is pain, with a very fine line between the two. It is where we torture ourselves waiting for phone calls that we know won’t come, it’s where we feel the exquisite pain of the forbidden. Scorpio is where we go below the surface to find meaning, solutions, complete healing and transformation.

Scorpio is also about power and facing those fears in order to get to your talents and achieve those desires. And there is nothing that has more power over you than fear.  Fear provides you with the completely mistaken idea that you are in control. So, you stay safe, you say no, you build boundaries around yourself- to stop people getting in and to stop yourself from getting out. And all the while you fool yourself that in doing so you have control. Until you don’t.

I think it was Eric Francis (of Planet Waves) who wrote that most people who are scared are actually horny but don’t know what to do about it. I would also add that they are hungry. Ravenously hungry. Hungry for desire, hungry for passion, hungry for power, hungry for control, hungry for revenge. The type of hunger that keeps you awake at night, gnawing at your insides.

This is an appetite that you do one of two things with.

You are scared, so bury the feelings down deep. You dig a big hole in the middle of your soul, throw in the stuff that scares the crap out of you, the things that you desire so much that you can’t bear it, or risk it. You cover the hole with about 6 tons of soil and secure it with a big, heavy wrought iron lid…and a key…with a lock that has a password or a combination…on time delay. Then you sit back sit back and try not to think about what you have missed out on. Let the discontent fester as you feed it from the fridge or the wine cellar- feeding all the gaps that are left when you locked your desires away. Create a few excuses- a few logical reasons why you haven’t fulfilled your potential, grabbed those opportunities, told that one person how you really feel about them.

The thing is, the hunger hasn’t gone away. You still want what (or who) you want, but now you lie awake replaying missed opportunities, the things that you should have said, the things you should have done- if only you weren’t so scared.

The other thing about burying this stuff like a great toxic waste dump, is that sooner or later it will get dug back up, or uncovered- and Scorpio Full Moon is a prime time for that to happen. The problem is, when it does finally come to the surface, it’s all decayed and manky, and even more scary and unpleasant than when it first went underground. Sometimes it’s best just to rip that particular bandaid off.

Alternatively, you can strip Fear of the power you have given her and use it to fuel your courage to do the things that fear has stopped you from doing in the past. Reclaim that power for yourself. Eliminate those beliefs, behaviours and people that are doing you no good. Let them go- sure you may miss them, but not for long. Look deep into yourself and see the truth- you can handle it.  Then get out there and do it- all of it. Seriously, how hard can it be?

Scorpio demands truth and honesty and will usually dig deeply to get at it. Only through emotional detoxing and the symbolic opening of the closet door can you fully confront your unexpressed desires and the fears that you locked away with them and embrace whatever is to come.

For the astro peeps- look at where 16 Scorpio falls in your chart for more clues. On a personal note, this Full Moon falls in my 9^th house, trine my Ascendant, and sextile the Descendant.

Best go- I have some very scary unexpressed desires to find. I think I last saw them hidden in that dark corner behind my boundaries which were pushed somewhere behind those casks of wine…

See also In the Darkness of Your Dreams