Regular readers of this blog will know that I am currently on holiday- indulging on a P&O cruise of the South Pacific on a ship called the Pacific Jewel. There is nearly as many staff on this ship as there are passengers (they like to count things on this ship and then Amaze and Surprise you with Incredible statistics…), but you can tell the Officers and Ship executive by their white uniforms. The Captain is Italian with the type of accent a girl would chase to Rome. His whites are the whitest of them all.

Over the last few days I have indulged myself in the fantasy of running away to sea, but aside from the impediments of commitment, responsibility and family, the biggest thing spoiling this fantasy is the white uniform. Not only do I not do uniforms, I also don’t do white- yet have often wished I could. I don’t avoid white because I feel that it doesn’t suit me, but rather because it rarely stays white. I inevitably spill red wine if I am wearing white. Even if I drink white wine and eat salad, white on me is magnetic- and not in a good way.

I wrote in last years Venus in Virgo post how after surviving chilli sambal chicken and satay- food which usually hurls itself off the plate and in the general direction of my chest (which I admit can be sort of difficult to miss)- I poured a beer in celebration of my cleanliness & managed to brush the fresh henna tattoo on my wrist right across my right boob. Goodbye white tshirt & hello smudged yin/yang- which I then had to live with until it wore off. I also had to spend the rest of the afternoon with a mighty dark brown streak right across my front.

Venus in Virgo, however, can wear white… successfully. In fact, with this placement, you will be able to wear all white and have it stay white and be like those beautiful people in the holiday brochures that stroll hand in hand up the beach in filmy white linen and white bikinis. The sand will not stick & the salt water will dry clear & not sticky.

Unfortunately, Venus in Virgo has difficulty in relaxing for long enough to stroll up a beach, and often has too little body confidence to do so in a bikini. This placement is usually held by people with pretty neat & trim bodies, so this is an absolute waste of white bikini. And yes, given that I have never worn a bikini (let alone a white one) there is more than a small amount of envy in what I say.

Yet despite this amazing ability to wear white, stay clean, be trim and eat well, Venus in Virgo is in what traditional astrologers term the sign of her fall. This doesn’t mean that Venus is weak in Virgo, it means that she is in a position where she can’t use her strength, in a place which is alien to her. Venus loves pleasure, beauty, art, food. What she doesn’t like is too much hard work, conflict, sacrifice, deprivation and details.

Venus is exalted or exaggerated in the opposite sign of Pisces where she sees the world through rose coloured glasses. In Pisces, Venus can be lazy, unrealistic, self-indulgent and oblivious to deprivation or detail. In Virgo, Venus sees the world clearly and critically, often having altered perceptions of it and herself as a result.

In Virgo, the rose coloured glasses are off as she sees imperfections which the rest of us are blind to. In Virgo, Venus is operating within a sign that thrives on work, analyses details, is extremely conscious about what food is consumed and strives for perfection. This is not a comfortable place for her to be. In Virgo, Venus finds it difficult to relax and difficult to appreciate beauty- especially her own.

In Virgo, Venus is earthily tactile and sensual, yet efficient, reliable, faithful and practical. Despite her textbook reputation to nag in relationships (I make no judgement…), she will give more of herself to you than you can or will ever notice- nothing pleases her more than to have someone to do things for, to worry about, to put on a diet. This all makes Venus in Virgo a difficult placement to write about. So please, if you feel that this is not you, don’t feel compelled to tell me so- and I mean that in the nicest possible way!

An un-named friend with Venus in Virgo struggles with what she describes as the checklist mentality. Absolutely gorgeous, but until recently single, she admits (retrospectively) that she (unconsciously) approached men with a checklist of sorts- both in terms of physical attributes and professional and earning capacity. Upon meeting a likely candidate he would be assessed and discounted. She also discloses that the “qualities” on her list were really “quantities” to be ticked off and accounted for. As she said to me, if anyone had ever told her that this was what she did with men, she would have fervently denied it, but knows it to be true.

In actual fact, the checklist was there because she didn’t believe that she was special enough to attract someone who would think that she was perfect enough. The concept of “good enough” is a difficult one for Venus in Virgo.

Men with Venus in Virgo are looking for a woman with Virgo traits or a busy 6th house- physically she will be trim, tidy and clean; mentally she will be quick, organised and disciplined, and sexually she will be faithful. She will either be able to deal with the details of life for him or hand these concerns straight across to him. She will most likely be interested in health and nutrition (but often will say that she isn’t)… and she will be able to wear white.

As for my fantasy of running away and spending my days sailing the high seas, away from the martini glass and under the clear ultra violet light of bright sun, my whites just aren’t white enough…and I so don’t do uniforms or discipline…well not from a naval point of view anyway. Hmm I don’t think that came out quite the way it was intended…maybe that is a subject best kept for Mars in Scorpio :).