Chains- Love, Life and Desperate Housewives- Taurus Part 2

Pic by me
Pic by me

On Desperate Housewives the other day Teri Hatcher’s character, Susan Mayer/Delfino was reliving how life would have been if instead of kicking Karl out when she caught him cheating, if she tried to make the relationship work.

She says to him something like “Why don’t you just go upstairs and unpack your stuff and I will learn how to swallow my rage,” and reaches for the 1st of what was obviously (judging from subsequent scenes which showed a substantially blown out Susan Myers) a lot of chocolate chip cookies. By swallowing her rage, both metaphorically and physically, Susan was trying to hold onto what was left of her marriage at all costs. The subsequent weight she put on was symbolic of all of those feelings she had swallowed. In holding on so tightly, she let other opportunities pass her by.

This concept of holding on is a Taurean one. In the body Taurus rules the throat, the thyroid, the metabolic system and how the body actually stores fat and energy sources. Quite simply, Taurus represents the principle of storage and containment or retention. This principle is applied to energy expenditure (natural metabolism can be slow) and feelings (Taurus likes to contain herself).

“Swallowing” emotions- whether they be rage, fear, frustration or something else entirely- is common behaviour for Taurus who has difficulty in expressing what they feel and what they need. This is particularly true of those who have their Moon and/or Ascendant in Taurus.

Pic by me
Pic by me

The Moon, which represents nutrition and comfort and what we need instinctively to feel safe, is exalted in Taurus. Being a Venus ruled sign, Taurus is particularly prone to comfort herself with sweet treats or simple carbohydrates- food that looks good, tastes sweet and has a luxurious texture. Whilst we can all comfort eat to a certain extent, the Taurus Moon can be the ultimate comfort eater!

This tendency, coupled with the potential of a relatively slow metabolism means that Taurus can put on weight easily (again, especially the Taurus Moon and Taurus Ascendant)… and once on, only diligence and concerted effort will get it off. Taurus is not blessed with the fast burn of, say, Aries. She is, however, blessed with lasting power and endurance. So, although slow (and possibly reluctant) to start, when Taurus sets her mind to it, she can last on a program longer than most other signs and is less likely to fall off the wagon along the way.

Perhaps the hardest habit for Taurus to adopt when it comes to weight loss is that of exercise. Yet, it is absolutely essential in order to boost the metabolism and also to stay in touch with the physical body. Walking is perfect for Taurus as it may not feel like a workout. Some shopping centres even have mall walking groups- surely the ultimate workout for Taurus! We have an IKEA near my workplace & on a rainy day, following the arrows all the way round can fill up a lunchtime!

Taurus loves music so dance is also great- anything that allows Taurus to reconnect with her body. Whatever activity is chosen, it needs to be something which can be integrated into a regular routine and ingrained as habit.

Taurus finds regular habits, once ingrained, whether healthy or not, difficult to change. For Taurus the maintenance of good routines, regardless of the chaos that might be taking place around you is integral to health.

Taurus loves good food and wine for the sensory experience rather than any nutritional need. When Taurus cooks and when she eats she is alive to the visual appeal of a plate, and the combination of flavours and textures. Eating something simply because it is healthy holds no appeal for Taurus. Likewise grabbing something quickly and on the run will bring little pleasure. Taurus likes to take her time and savour the entire process. A Taurus colleague recently baked a loaf of bread that took over 6 weeks to produce- she created and fed her own “starter” and used it to make the bread. Whilst she wasn’t ecstatic with the result, it was the process that was the point.

Pic by me
Pic by me

Love is another sensory pleasure to be savoured rather than rushed. Where Scorpio is (arguably) one of the most jealous and sexual of the signs, Taurus is one of the most possessive and sensual. Taurus likes to take her time and needs to have all of her senses engaged- this is not a Wham Bam Thankyou Maam shag.

A physical sign, Taurus likes touch, texture and comfort. If you want to seduce a Taurus you won’t go far wrong than with a good meal, cuddles, massages, or lazy afternoons tucked up under a rug on the lounge watching old movies or the football (depending on whether it is a girl or a guy you are trying to impress, of course).

Taurus of either sex does not fall in love lightly and will tend not to exert too much energy in the chase- preferring to seduce and be seduced rather than hunt prey. Although slow to love, Taureans of both sexes are equally as reluctant to let it go if it all falls apart. Complete closure is required, sometimes numerous times, even if the object once desired has begun to tarnish… and rust… and left the country with someone else.

Taurus offers complete loyalty, and expects the same. However, where Scorpio will gather the data to prove a suspected infidelity (and then wait for a suitable and preferably painful revenge), Taurus prefers not to know the details and will retreat and contain the rage until it has all blown over and her partner is back where he belongs. This isn’t to say that cheating is tolerated- far from it- just that Taurus understands that sometimes it is best to settle down and practically look at the situation in terms of the whole relationship and what is at risk in both letting go or holding on.

Taurus women are usually ultra-feminine earth mother types- with curves in all the right places. Ms Taurus knows the way to her mans’ heart is by satisfying his physical comfort needs. She may start by cooking him dinner, greeting him at the door with a beer and a back rub after a hard days work. Next thing he knows she has the keys and he is completely ensnared in a very comfortable set of chains. Ms Taurus won’t forget,but she will attempt to forgive and remain loyal and do all that she can to hang on to you, your relationship and the life she has built around it.

Taurus guys are the strong, silent types. He will court you slowly and be there when you decide that you just can’t go back to that cheating so & so of an ex again- no matter how good the sex was. Mr Taurus will offer a solid and stable landing pad and help put back the pieces that your bad boy ex left behind. Before you know it he has moved in and is doing the groceries for you and taken up residence on your couch. Mr Taurus will work hard to provide for you- your comfort is his focus. in return, he needs to know that you are true to him. Mr Taurus is a long term and very attractive prospect.   He is Susan Mayer/Delfino’s Mike, while Karl is her bad boy ex.

Which brings me nicely back to Susan’s “what if” scenario…

Three years and many kilos after asking Karl to stay, she meets Mike Delfino when he comes to unclog her sink. But he clears more than her sink… (no, I am not going there…) After rejecting her very obvious advances, he simply says “If you are unhappy, you should do something about it.” She sees her distorted reflection in the toaster and puts down the bowl of cake batter she had picked up as an automatic reaction to comfort herself.

Soon after, Karl packs his bags and leaves. “Thats it- after 15 years of marriage?” she screeches at him.

What she tells him she wants to hear him say is: “Thanks Susan for eating nothing but broccoli & colon cleanser for the last 6 months so you can lose weight and look good for me.” Or “Thanks for wasting the best years of your life while I went out and banged everything with a GED and a tramp stamp.”

Instead he says, “You could have spared yourself all this pain if you just let me go the 1st time. You really do deserve better, Susan”

As he leaves she sees Mike go into the house across the road with his pregnant wife. In her “what if” scenario, she realises that letting Karl go when she did was a whole lot better than trying to hang on to something that no longer suited her life.

That is the Taurus endpoint- knowing just what to hang on to, what to let go of and what really makes you feel safe, secure and at peace.

Check out Scorpio Tina Arena’s hit Chains.

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