AskJo- Venus Conjunct Uranus- Breaking Free
I have Venus conjunct Uranus. Is this why I can’t stay in a relationship?

This is an interesting one. I have Uranus in the 7th house opposing my Sun and Moon- a similar aspect to a Venus/Uranus conjunction in many ways. When I was first learning astrology, many more experienced (than I) astrologers upon seeing my chart would nod meaningfully at me and then very gently ask me how many times I have been married. One actually went as far as to tell me that I had a “divorce aspect” and that I would never be able to hold down as relationship as my need for space, individuality and constant excitement is too great. WTF? I have been in the same relationship for over 20 years…and to a very conservative Scorpio!

Just before I went to New York earlier this year my Dad told my husband that he should enforce more control over me and my habit of periodically running away. Hubby just laughed and said “that’s Joey, I wouldn’t want to try and control her.” With Venus/Uranus you will need space in your relationships. Not just physical and emotional space, but space to be yourself within the structure of a relationship. This does not mean so called “open relationships” (unless, of course, that works for both of you), but rather open communication where you both understand what the other needs in order to be honest to themselves and each other.

I once went to school with a girl who put the “kwe” into quirky. She didn’t value popularity, in fact, it was something she eschewed- yet for all that, popular she was, in that everyone wanted to copy her. Other girls wanted to dress like her, listen to the same music as her, have the same detached nonchalance that wore.

She was able to wear the mankiest Doctor Who scarf in a way that would make others look plain sad. She was into Dead Kennedys when the rest of us thought The Cure were alternative. She wallpapered her bedroom in alfoil and once made a full twirly skirt for the school disco entirely out of broadsheet newspapers. Ok, the newspaper skirt probably wasn’t a great success and didn’t survive the water fight midway during the evening, but certainly illustrates my point- people with a Venus/Uranus conjunction love to be different, with an original style which is all their own.

Venus/ Uranus types are able to successfully combine quirky, mis-matched and artisan pieces together with the end result not looking contrived or as if they are trying too hard to be different.

You love to discover a new designer or artist or band, but will only remain loyal and interested until they become popular, at which point you move onto the next exciting discovery…much like my school friend who moved onto Throbbing Gristle once a few of us started listening to Dead Kennedys’ “Holiday in Cambodia”.

You may be extremely open minded to all types of relationship structures, you may resist traditional ceremonies- after all, how you feel about each other won’t be changed by a piece of paper. Then again, you may choose to do all of these things. The one thing that you will resist in a relationship is sameness and dishonesty and imprisonment. Feeling trapped and claustrophobic is a common symptom of a long term relationship for a Venus/Uranus type or indeed Venus in Aquarius, or 7th house Uranus.

For all your freedom loving, open minded attitudes, you can be completely inflexible when it comes to compromising on what it is that you believe in, your own moral code, so to speak. As adaptable as you may appear to the outside world, heaven help anyone who attempts to mold you into their idea of who and what you should be. As malleable and responsible as you may be at the start of a relationship, at some point you will rebel.

Sometimes you may “project” the aspect, and rather than display the qualities yourself, be drawn to Venus/Uranian types- this may be the case if the rest of your chart is heavily water or earth based. You may be attracted to partners who themselves are quirky, spontaneous, unreliable and freedom loving. You may constantly worry that he doesn’t value the relationship (or you) and detaches himself too easily. Venus/Uranus understands that people can’t be owned- nobody “belongs” to anybody else.

Venus/Uranus types fall in love (lust) quickly. For as long as that 1st glorious rush of newness lasts, she won’t care what others think, or whether he is the right one or even whether he is available- self restraint means absolutely nothing when your interest is aroused. Once that initial glow disappears, she will, however, look for excitement elsewhere- a little variety and experimentation will always help to sustain her interest. Mixing it up a bit sexually is definitely appreciated by Venus/Uranus types!

Having Venus and Uranus conjunct (or, indeed a 7th house Uranus or Venus in Aquarius) does not mean you will never have a lasting relationship- just that you need to find someone who will value your independence and space in the same way that you do. Someone who recognizes that you need personal freedom and the space within which you can experiment and be creative. Someone who provides a safe haven for you to come back to in between adventures. Someone who appreciates those little quirks of your personality. Someone who won’t push you into a uniform, won’t make you straighten your hair and won’t try and mold you into the perfect wife/partner/employee. Someone who thinks that you and your purple velvet coat are perfect as you are.