after the happy ever after…

Let’s talk about sex.

There, I got your attention…right?

Now, let’s talk about money.

Not so interesting, I’m guessing.

The thing is, though, more relationships are cemented and broken on the subject of these two factors than anything else.

Yep. Sex and money.

Money, you might understand, but how can sex be a deal breaker? Sex is fun. Sex belongs in the 5th house where we fall in love and hook up and shag until we can’t see straight. Right?

Yes…and no.

Sex also belongs in the 8th house- along with death, taxes, other peoples money and the assets of the relationship. I guess in a way, sex becomes one of those assets.

Eighth house sex, Scorpio sex, is about sex for grown ups, the sex that really means something, the sex that keeps you together, urges you to go forth and populate and the sex that can break you up. Relationship deal-breaker sex.

The fact is, in long term or committed relationships, sex is always an issue that both parties have to address and make decisions on.

It is extremely rare in any long term relationship to find both parties happy with the status quo- one wants more or less than what they’re currently getting.

Failure to address the situation maturely leads to frustrations- depending of course on how important sex is to you personally.

Then there’s the temptation of outside sex- 5th house sex, the sex you take a risk on, exciting sex.

See what I mean? Sex can be a deal-breaker.

I’m told a lot: “if I could just be in a relationship, all my problems would be over”… the thing is, falling in love is fun, relationship is serious- it’s why Saturn is exalted in Libra.

Don’t get me wrong- relationship is wonderful. It’s enhancing, it’s rewarding, it’s comforting, it’s the stuff life is made of. It’s also bloody hard work- Saturn territory.

Sometimes you make compromises that you don’t want to make, sometimes you accept situations you don’t want to accept, sometimes you do things you don’t want to do. It’s that point in the middle between Aries and Libra. It’s Cancer and Capricorn- the compromises you make may because shared history and shared parenthood may be more important than the issue on the table. It may be because together you are more secure than apart. It may be because the whole is greater than the sum of its two parts.

Then again, sometimes deal-breakers come into play…we all have them. The hard part is maturely assessing the situation and making a balanced decision to stay or to go.

This is where Saturn comes into it.

Our relationships go through a Saturn cycle too.

After having prepared our roots in the 4th, got our act together communication wise in the 3rd, known what was important to us in the 2nd (and, more importantly what our self worth is), and how we need to grow up in the 1st, we fall in love in the 5th house.

It doesn’t stop at the falling in love stage- although that’s where the romance novels end. No one is interested in the boring bits that come next.

Sixth house, business as usual. This is where the newness has started to wear off and you’re getting to know the ordinary stuff. How each of you spend your days, your work routines.

You might start to leave things at each others houses, little stuff at first- a toothbrush, spare undies. Then you might do other ordinary things- stay in instead of going out, a t shirt in bed instead of something more sexy. Things get comfortable.

You’re ready for commitment. The two are now one. You are in the 7th house. There is a fresh burst of energy. There might be a wedding or a moving in together. You’re a partnership. You’ve grown up and accepted the maturity of relationship. Now you can live happily ever after…right?

And then, just when everything looks perfect, along comes a new challenge. The 8th house. Scorpio stuff. The merging of assets, the relationship budgets, sexually transmitted debt.

You no longer have your problems, you have his too. It’s no longer just your work that you worry about, it’s his too. It’s no longer just your family to drive you mad, there’s his too. There’s juggling of time together, commitments made, who’s turn it is to spend the holidays with their family.

This is why Venus is in detriment in Scorpio- Venus likes to feel good…and falling in love feels great- it’s why we all do it. The real emotional reality is different. More emotional maturity is required for this stage of the game than what has come before.

More than what caused you to hook up, more than what got you through when the newness dulled, more than what made you stand in front of someone (or each other) and make a commitment to each other. More than all of that. And, if you want the relationship to survive, there is no shortcut, no skipping of this step.

Scorpio territory is deep emotional territory, and that requires deep, emotional maturity.

And now Saturn is in Scorpio.

Look at where Scorpio is in your chart- this is where you need to bring emotional maturity. This is where you are now asked to get real.

As with all things Saturn, there is no point looking for a shortcut, skipping a step, shirking on the work. It might be painful, but all things worthwhile are.

For me the first half of this transit will be 8th house stuff. Saturn has been here for a while now- us Pisceans take a while to get a message. Interestingly, I think I’m finally understanding what that message is- at least for me. Saturns’ transit of Virgo, the 7th house and Libra and the 8th house has not been an easy one. I physically felt the weight lift when Saturn moved out of the 7th into the 8th, but the focus on relationship has still been tough- for a lot of reasons.

Look also at what Saturn means in your chart- where is he? What houses does he rule? These will now have an added emotional intensity and focus. Saturn is no longer interested in the concept of relationship- he is now passionately concerned with the life and death reality of it.

Want more on Saturn in Scorpio?

Check out:

Better the Devil You Know

Climb Every Mountain

Saturn in Scorpio- the missing piece

Saturn in Scorpio- the technical details

3 comments for “after the happy ever after…

  1. CW
    October 6, 2012 at 11:30 am

    I’m with you Jo Tracy, pisces rising here…saturn in scorpio will be traversing my 8th (as it was in Libra) and then eventually into my 9th. I think it’s time to get serious about higher education ultimately…but in the meantime, not sure what it will mean. You are sure right about the fact that it “has not been an easy one”.

  2. rosalie
    October 6, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    Simply brilliant words Jo…had a huge Eureka moment just now reading your article..Many thanks and Blessings 🙂

  3. October 9, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    Great info..
    I agree to it that sometimes we accept situations we don’t want to accept, sometimes we do things we don’t want to do.

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