Ab Fab, De-tox and Security Blankets

And this is my final word (:)) on Taurus…

I haven’t been able to breathe this week… literally… In fact, talking & breathing is currently the equivalent of multi-tasking… and we all know now that there is no such thing as multi-tasking. Sleeping and breathing at the same time has also been a challenge.

Aside from the annoyance value of not being able to breathe, I am truly angry and frustrated. All the hard work I have been doing at the gym has just been un-done & will take at least a few weeks to get my lungs back on track. Patience is not something I excel at.

Anyway, today I hit rock bottom, which means a day on the lounge with a blankie, trackies and ugg boots, DVDs, IQ and feeling stir crazy and oh so sorry for myself. I cried through my favourite period drama until I realised that crying and breathing is not recommended. So, out came Ab Fab.

I randomly hit on series 4- the Detox episode. On a girls night out, which is every night frankly, because no one has a man, the girls are talking about how every racehorse needs a donkey (symbolically speaking) as 2 racehorses in the same stable would, as Patsy so eloquently put it, “kick the shit out of each other”. The girls then brought this around to attachments.

Magazine Girl to Katy Grin: Everyone has their crutches, their security blanket- being mean is yours.

Eddie: I haven’t got one

(all the girls laugh)

Katy: You’re fat. Surely you can see that, we certainly can’t miss it!

Katy: What’s yours Patsy?… Its obvious… the 60’s forelock. Put it back, lets see what you look like  under there….at least you can pin your fringe back whereas you (turning to Eddy) you can’t pin your fat back.

Eddy has an epiphany and decides to reinvent herself into a luggage-less version of herself. Her fat is her excess baggage. She embarks on a detox (nobody diets these days, darling) with the aim that in 3 weeks time she wants to be on the cusp of organ failure, an x-ray with a pulse…

Eddy for all her “out there” behaviour and spotlight hogging, swallows her real feelings and accumulates things around her to guard against tomorrow. When Pats says “your stomach is like a dog that doesn’t know when it is going to be fed next and just hangs around until you want to kick it,” she is talking about a reluctance to trust that abundance will continue. (Patsy, on the other hand, hasn’t eaten since 1974.)

Materialism, attachment, accumulation, fear of letting go- all of these are words associated with Taurus. It is no coincidence that the RSS feed on my personal email has lately been filled with other peoples blogs on materialism, living the minimalist way or getting rid of attachments.

 Like Eddie and Pats, our attachments don’t necessarily need to be materialistic. It can be anything that makes us feel safe, anything that makes us feel secure. I can totally identify with Eddie’s fat as security- those extra layers can definitely provide protection- they stop people from seeing the person under the layers, in a way they provide protection from temptation or exposure.

We can be attached to feelings, to goods, to a hair style, to the past. We can be attached to the way things are, the way things were or the way that we think they might be. We can be attached to a dream, a hope, or a vision. We can be attached to a lost love, the idea of love, the fantasy of a love. Not everything that we hang onto is, by definition, good. How many people do you know of in unhealthy relationships for whatever reason? How many people do you know who will listen to good advice and then pop their own roadblocks or excuses up? I’ll be the 1st to put my own hand up for that one- on a number of different levels.

Getting rid or letting go of what we are attached to can be scary as it removes an excuse for moving forward. Holding onto that clutter or baggage can weigh you down physically or symbolically. It is there in the friend who insists on closure from her ex before saying yes to the guy standing in front of her.  It is there when we hold onto a job long past its use by date because the current one, for all its faults, makes us feel safe. I am doing it at present- holding onto words I have written for a book that I am too scared to have someone read because putting them out there will expose me without the layers of protection.  I know I need to let it go and trust, but with trust is fear of rejection as well. I will choose carefully and grit my teeth and hope that my trust is not misplaced.   

Wherever Taurus is in your chart will give you an idea about where you have problems letting go. (Check out my previous Taurus posts & the Scorpio Full moon posts). Look also at any Taurus planets and what they represent to you. Saturn is also the bad guy when it comes to fear- but that one is for an entirely different blog!

Anyway, back to Eddy… after 3 weeks on detox without so much as a sniff of alcohol, she has lost some weight and is feeling well chuffed with herself. The same group of girls in the same restaurant, but this time they are discussing Sex & the City.

“I’ll be Sarah Jessica Parker,” volunteers Eddy.

The others laugh and Katy Grin says “you’re still too fat!”

No one notices Eddy’s weight loss- that particular baggage was more important to her than it was to anyone else… as all good baggage usually is.

2 comments for “Ab Fab, De-tox and Security Blankets

  1. May 14, 2010 at 11:34 am

    fabulous. i have been wanting to prune down to a suitcase as i lie here crippled thinking as well all my training down the tube since i fell off my horse or rather my saddle fell off my horse and i with it. one implies i cant ride the other implies i am an idiot who couldn’t tell her saddle was coming off!

    hope you feel better. your writing always makes me laugh and think as well, thanks

  2. admin
    May 15, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    I was reading about that Heather… I have to admit I have done the same thing in the past & I am not have as experienced as you ..lol. Hope you are on the mend soon too!

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