It’s my baby’s birthday on Sunday.

She’ll be 15. How did that happen? When did that happen?

Aside from being reminded of her fabulousness every day, the relationship we have- her chart against mine- is a daily transit I live.

Every day her Sun sits in my first house, against my Saturn, and lights my life while simultaneously reminding me of my responsibilities and commitments.

Every day her Moon/Neptune conjunction lights up the friendship sector of my chart.

Every day my Venus in Aries chats with her Mars/Mercury/Saturn conjunction.

As I said, her chart is a daily transit to mine.

That’s what relationship astrology is, a transit chart. It mightn’t be a transit that comes and goes like the Moon, it’s a transit that plays out on your chart for the length of the relationship.

Just like a transit, the nature of the aspect will tell you whether that contact is one that will challenge you, help you grow, complement your or compliment you. Think about this one.

I have friends whose Sun in Gemini squares my Pisces planets. They ask me the tough questions, they don’t let me get away with my usual pattern of obfuscation.

Then there’s the people with Virgo planets- with them it’s a little like holding up a mirror. As with many mirrors, quite often you don’t see what you want to see.  Instead you see something you need to see.

Get it?

It’s one of the reasons that I ask clients not to over react when they see big, fat, hairy, scary transits coming at them- if you think about it, really think about it- you’re probably living with one of those transits every day.

And that’s a good thing- it’s the things and people that make us uncomfortable that create the tipping points that push us outside our comfort zone and help us to grow.

Too much compatibility, like too many easy aspects, are all too easily taken for granted.

Taking this concept further, there’s certain people whose presence in your life makes you feel good about yourself, reminds you of what’s important, who you feel comfortable talking to about anything, who feel like family.

Now think about what part of your chart their Sun falls in. This is the part of your life that they will light up.

Those whose Sun falls in your first house will give you confidence and energy. Somehow you will feel more vital just being with them. Someone whose Sun falls in your 10^th house will be a person who lights your career or public life.

Check out the theory with your nearest and dearest…and, indeed, with those people you simply don’t get on with.

You can take it further by looking at the other personal planets- where do you feel the lunar influence of others? What about the Venus? Or Mars?

It’s relationship astrology, but not as you know it.