Posts Tagged ‘Scorpio men’

Revenge is Sweeter Than You Ever Were

Thursday, August 23rd, 2012

I have Mars in Scorpio, in the 8th house. This makes it both easy and difficult to write this piece- easy in that I can tell it like it is without giving a faff if I upset anybodys precious ego way; and difficult in that I need to be careful not to expose parts of myself which, like my stomach, rarely see the light of day…for good reason.

It’s hard to write about Mars in Scorpio without talking about sex, jealousy, revenge, control, power and absolute truth. Nor can I write about Mars in Scorpio without discussing unwavering desire, determined willpower and intense emotions. I will address the latter, before venturing into the former.

Just as there is a fine line between pleasure and pain the extremely dark side of Scorpio also has a very positive energy. Any planet in Scorpio will be focused, private, self sufficient and contained. Mars is no different. Mars rules both Aries and is the traditional ruler of Scorpio, so is extremely strong in this sign.

Mars, for all of us, is about how we assert ourselves, how we go about getting what we want. It is also about our energy levels.  Anyone who has this placement is driven.  The power of emotions is channelled into asserting yourself and achieving or attaining what it is that you want. Rather than detaching from your emotions (such as is possible with Mars in Air, Fire and Earth), Mars in Water signs use this attachment to a goal or desire in order to move forward.

Scorpio is an introverted, or feminine sign, which means that the energy rather than being expressive is internally directed. Scorpio is not a centre stage feature, but rather back row centre. For all this, it is still, magnetic and powerful. Mars in Scorpio draws people in, seemingly without exerting a muscle.

Scorpio is a fixed sign, so the energy is one of endurance. He has incredible internal reserves of energy and his desires are unwavering. He doesn’t care how long it takes. Whilst Mars in Aries will exhaust himself quickly and move on, Mars in Scorpio is in it for the long run and will budget his energy in a more controlled fashion to make it last.

Mars says a lot about what gets us out of bed in the morning (as well as what gets us in there the night before). In Scorpio, this can be usually isolated to power and total control. Mars in Scorpio likes a challenge. Unlike Mars in Aries, he won’t tear off to the next conquest as soon as he has landed his prey- he wants to hang around and make sure that what he has won is totally his. This is the energy of completion and makes Mars in Scorpio formidable from a professional sense and also incredibly suited to any sporting activity needing focus and endurance.

Mars’ strengths in Scorpio are also some of his key weaknesses. His need for privacy, secrecy, self protection and control can stop him from expressing himself freely. He is change resistant and slow to trust with a tendency to paranoia. Mars in Scorpio may choose not to move forward with something he believes in simply because he feels that to do so may grant someone else control. He will instead wait until the situation can be manipulated in his favour. A little like only using a 2 letter word in words with friends so that you don’t leave the double or triple words exposed. Yep, I’m playing both a Scorpio Sun and a Scorpio Moon at present.

Mars in Scorpio takes these traits with him to bed.  Mars is also about what turns us on (and off) sexually (and otherwise). It is about our sex drive and passions. In a mans’ chart, Mars is how he shows his strength, his masculinity, how he might go about impressing a potential partner. In a womans’ chart, the sign that Mars is in is often projected into the type of partner she falls for completely- again and again and flipping again. Trust me on this, I’m a textbook case. Thankfully I married one.

With Mars in Scorpio, it may be that she has a weakness for men with Sun, Moon, Venus or Mars in Scorpio, or men who have one or more of these planets in the 8th house or in close aspect to Pluto. She may want a man who will dominate her in some way, or with whom she can fight for control. Deep down, she wants to be needed. Either way, her relationships will usually have a Scorpio influence. If you are susceptible, there is nothing on earth that can substitute for the magnetism of the Scorpio influenced male. (Women with Scorpio personal planets have a similar effect on men with either Venus or the Moon in Scorpio).

Protection is absolutely paramount when considering emotions as deep as those of Scorpio. With Mars in Scorpio, you never ever let them know how you really feel- this makes you vulnerable and under the control of someone else…even though part of you may want to submit to a little of this. If they really loved or desired you they would want to dig deeper to know all of you. You want someone who is prepared to do that. You want someone who will expose his vulnerabilities to you.

To allow anyone to see how much you want them is to open yourself up for rejection. By not letting them know, if you are rejected, you are the only one who knows about it. Naturally, of course, the likelihood of rejection is that much greater because the encouragement level is that much less. Doesn’t make sense? It does to Scorpio Mars.

You may be jealous (at least initially) of anyone who has gone there before, during or after you- regardless of whether it was a one nighter or a relationship or even a flirtation. Why? Because they had (or will have) a part of you that I didn’t. Scary but true.

Mars in Scorpio doesn’t flirt. When he wants something (or someone), he wants all of it, completely, for ever and ever. And that is serious business- and very sexy. When Scorpio Mars stares you down, you know it. Flirtation is for when it’s not serious.

Sex isn’t just about physical passion for Scorpio Mars, although the urge is stronger here than in most other Mars placements. It is more about the emotional intensity and attachment. This is not sex in a 5th house fun way, but sex in the traditional 8th house power to transform your life way and experience something truly profound. A little (or a lot) dark, a little (or a lot) compulsive, a little (or a lot) obsessive, but very magnetic.

Because Mars in Scorpio desires so completely he requires truth, honesty and loyalty. No grey areas. This is uncompromising, deal breaking, black and white.

He doesn’t like to be played with, although he himself is a master game player and manipulator. If he suspects you are playing around, he will wait until you trip yourself up. Once you have lost his trust, it has gone forever. His nightmare scenario is finding out about your betrayal from another source as it threatens not only his trust, but also his sense of power.

He will then quietly gather evidence in the background which can be used against you. This allows him to regain some sense of control over the outcome. The term Machiavellian was invented for this placement… and his revenge (or revenge fantasies) certainly take on these qualities.

As tempting as it is, think carefully before committing to Mars in Scorpio as endings are always painful. This is not a placement where you can easily be friends afterward. It is all or nothing. Sure he will hang on for a while, but once he knows it is over, he will cut cleanly and completely. Like it never happened. Like you never existed. Complete elimination. As painful as it is to be completely cut from his life, it is substantially less painful than when he doesn’t let go… revenge is never pretty, but to Mars in Scorpio, it can be sweet indeed.

The title song is Revenge is Sweeter Than You Ever Were, by Aussie girls The Veronicas. This really is one of those songs that you want to throw at someone! Just have a listen to the lyrics…

Other great Mars in Scorpio songs:

  • Total Control, by The Motels- Martha Davis is being very Venus in Scorpio in this clip from the 80’s: “I’d sell my soul for total control over you”
  • Pleasure and Pain, by Aussie band The Divinyls. Another one from the 80’s. “I’ve been standing in the back of your life- back row centre just above the ice…its a fine line between pleasure and pain, you’ve done it once you’ll do it again”

You may also identify with this description if you are a man with the Sun in Scorpio or if you have Mars conjunct, square or in opposition to Pluto.

 

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Phoenix From The Flames

Sunday, October 23rd, 2011
© Christos Georghiou | Dreamstime.com

© Christos Georghiou | Dreamstime.com

On the first episode of Grand Designs Australia the story centred around the reconstruction of a very special house in Gippsland. Reconstruction because the house was completely destroyed in the Black Saturday Bushfires of January 2009- after having been completed for just 6 days. Yep, two years worth of blood, sweat and tears all gone in an inferno. Six days. And afterwards all that was left was a concrete slab, a burned out shell and a shattered spirit.

What was really special about this place and its owner/builder was the fact that rather than bulldozing what was left, he chose to recycle what he could to ensure that all the embodied energy of the house was retained. Panes of glass which amazingly withstood the incredible temperatures, warped steel- anything which could be salvaged was. The result was an amazing transformation of what had previously been ruined. Phoenix from the flames…or in the case from the ashes.

The owner understood that the damage was now part of the story of the house. Sure, changes were made. Fire protection was installed to ensure it could never happen again. The owner learned the lessons that needed to be learned, protected himself for the future, but bravely faced that future. As the ruins of the house were transformed, the owners’ healing process was able to begin.

This concept was one also explored in one of my favourite scenes in the movie Eat Pray Love where Liz was sitting in some ruins of old Rome and realised that no matter how badly things were ruined, new structures were able to be built up around them. Through complete destruction comes transformation. The cycle continues.

This is the key message to Scorpio. Scorpio is death. Scorpio is elimination. Through death comes re-birth. Through elimination comes an opportunity for healing. By making room in your life, you allow something else to rush in. Scorpio is transformation.

Scorpio is the dark side. Her passions are volcanic, beginning deep below the surface. Scorpio seeks the ultimate truth, ultimate power and ultimate passion. Intense doesn’t begin to describe her. Wherever Scorpio falls in your chart is where these tendencies will be displayed. It is where your desires are pursued with absolute unflinching and completely direct focus.

Scorpio is that critical point between life and death where nothing else matters and everything comes down to the rawest and most honest truth- and nothing but the truth. And before I hear you say in your best Jack Nicholson voice “You can’t handle the truth.” Let me tell you, Scorpio can and will.

Think about fear… just for a minute. Go on… what are you really scared of? Is it death, dying, aging, crowds, rejection, heartbreak, feeling too much? Think about that fear, go to the root of it and below into the murky depths of your soul. Now you are seeing and feeling Scorpio. This is the place where our most basic fears and instincts live. This is the deepest and most intensely authentic part of you. But before you run away, this is also the area where you have the most potential to effect transformation.

It is this mix of intensity and transformational potential which makes us turn away from Scorpio, and indeed from the 8th house. It is this fear and the association with life, death and sex that also gives Scorpio, the most deeply darkly emotional of the water signs, a bad reputation. As with all signs, there is a positive and a shadow side to Scorpio, but often it is only the shadow cliché which we associate with Scorpio and which we hold to be true. This makes sense – Scorpio is so incredibly guarded and private that we may only see beneath the surface when a line is crossed.  Few other signs have the healing or transformational promise of Scorpio. Few other signs attach so completely and intensely.

Scorpio is well known for his penchant for obsession, compulsion and revenge. Scorpio is well known for his magnetism and sexual attraction. Scorpio is well known for his focused intension to a goal. Scorpio is also well known for his tendency to paranoia. This is all part of the defence mechanism.

No one can get to your soul, your heart or your truth as effectively as Scorpio.  Unfortunately, this can also mean that Scorpio has the potential to hurt and damage you should they choose to. Scorpio struggles with the fear that comes with these extremes- the fear of feeling too much, the fear of relinquishing control, and the fear of letting go. Above all these is the fear of letting someone in- to do so gives that person the power to hurt, and few signs hurt as deeply and as completely as Scorpio. Fear is a protection mechanism, fear is a defensive mechanism, and very often fear is a desire that you just don’t know how to handle. For Scorpio, very often a pre-emptive strike represents, in her mind, the best possible defence.

If you have the Sun in Scorpio, you will be motivated to experience intense emotional connections- merging with someone else in a way which transcends the physical. It is this, and the fact that Scorpio rules the sexual organs and the organs of elimination in the body, that also gives rise to the cliché of Scorpio being the most sexual of signs. But sex for Scorpio is about more than physical release and pleasure. It is about la petite mort, the little death- the raw transformative experience that complete physical and emotional merging can bring.

It can, however, also be about the darker motivations of control, obsession and possession- Scorpio does not like to share and can guard that which is “his” with jealous paranoia. Feeling with the intensity of Scorpio is also to expose the soft inner core and to risk betrayal, abandonment and heartbreak. Scorpio is, as a result, slow to trust and will not do so until all data has been gathered, examined and you have proven yourself and given yourself body and soul into his keeping. In return he will give himself- not something to be taken lightly.

In the meantime, it pays to listen carefully to your intuition. If Scorpio is interested in you, she will be subtle. The signals themselves are a test. Opening up is to risk rejection. Instead Scorpio needs you to prove your intentions and reciprocation by risking yourself first.

If you have planets in Scorpio, whatever is represented by those planets will be where this plays out in your life. With plenty of Pisces planets, my intuition is pretty good, but with Mars in Scorpio in the 8th house natally, my Scorpio hubby and I circled each other for some time before we finally hooked up. I was reading his signals, he was reading mine, we both wanted it, but I was not going to risk rejection or the friendship we had built up by making the 1st move and nor was he.

We only got together because a mutual friend arranged for us both to go to a movie with her and when she (deliberately) didn’t turn up we found ourselves on neutral ground.   Twenty odd years on, I guess I would have to say the risk was worth it.

And the song for this sign? Phoenix From the Flames by Mr Scorpio Moon- the gorgeously inked Robbie Williams.

Silence shields the pain
So you say nothing
Feel they’ve rigged the game
And you’re done with lovin’
Only you can see the darkness in the northern lights

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