© Lucian Milasan | Dreamstime.com

There are two types of people in the world:

• Those who like to sneak a peek at the last page of a novel &
• Those who don’t

I fall very firmly & unapologetically into the first category…and yet I am not the type who sneaks a look at Xmas presents.

This habit has become even clearer since I started using the Kindle/ebook reader my husband bought me for Xmas.

Don’t get me wrong- I love love love it. Given that I have so far read 4 novels over the last week & a half on this Brisbane trip, I figure it has saved me at least 2-3 kgs of packing weight, packed space & money for when I realised after the 1^st two novels that I hadn’t brought enough with me to get through until the end of this crappy project.

With the kindle I love how I can dip in & out of different books. I love having a portable bookcase in my handbag rather than trying to predict what I might feel like reading after an exceptionally hard day in a long line of exceptionally hard days at the office. I have always found that deciding which books to pack is a little like deciding what you will possibly feel like eating for lunch next Wednesday.

At home I generally have a few different books going at the same time. There is usually:

• Something light & frothy for reading in the bath or the pool
• Something a little more meaty for sitting on the lounge with a wine & my dog at the end of a bad day
• Something I know I should be reading because it is supposed to be literary & declared “good” by some reading club or another but that I haven’t actually decided that I like yet
• Some 700+ page epic which I have got halfway through & can’t see the end to
• A chick lit novel or two that I am reading for escapism &, if I am perfectly honest, genre analysis
• A lightish mystery or thriller in a favourite series

With the kindle, it is all in together. In my handbag. Cool. I can even highlight passages I like.

What don’t I like about it?

It doesn’t feel like or smell like a book. Because mine has a really cool red leather (in homage to my Venus in Aries) cover it does actually read like a book.

Of more importance to me is that it doesn’t have a page count & I can’t flip to the end. For me, both of these points are important.

With nearly every planet & major chart point in my natal chart hitting Uranus or Pluto and therefore high scores in Donna Cunningham’s Uranus (51) & Pluto (59) tests, I am commitment phobic & a control freak. There I said it.

I like to know just how much of myself I will be committing to a book. If it is anything longer than, say, 375 pages, I had better be pretty damn sure that it is worth my time. But more than controlling, I like to know these things from an efficiency perspective.

My daughter (Five Foot Nothing), with all of her Aries planets, is what can be termed an efficient reader. She doesn’t want to have to go wading through words for characterisation or motivations. The author is wasting her time if she is expecting FFN to go delving below the surface. She recently declared that she wasn’t going to finish Eclipse because “like the book is going to take me 6 months to read & the movie is only like 2 hours so I really don’t think this is a very good use of my time.”

For all that I love to read- it satisfies the Piscean need to escape- I am efficient in a different way. I blame my Venus in Aries- I don’t want to have to wait for satisfaction, & if by chance I do commit to the long haul, it better bloody well be worth it at the end. I do not want to get to the end of an epic only to find that any of the following has happened:

• The bitch gets the guy
• The bad karma fairy visits the wrong person
• Something bad happens to a kid or to someone who is good- I can forgive JK Rowling most things, but not for killing off Dobbie
• The dog dies

Imagine my disappointment if I invest the time & commit to a book only to get to page 395 to find that nothing is resolved (to my satisfaction), the bitch got the guy & the dog hasn’t made it. Now that would neither be a return on investment or an efficient use of my time.

Even the mighty Aquarian brain gets under stress occasionally. As with most signs under stress we go deep into the shadow of the sign. So, how can Aquarius deal with it? My latest post for astrology.com is here.

Treasury Casino, Brisbane, pic by me

It is often said that planets become more emphasised when they are retrograde ie appear to be going backwards from the perspective of us here on Earth. Personally, I find that simply terrifying when it comes to Saturn- although many of you won’t share that fear.

The reason their action is emphasised is because it is internalised. We therefore feel it more. And if you have planets or chart points at 17 Libra, 17 Aries, 17 Capricorn or 17 Cancer- you will feel this one even more as Saturn stationed retrograde at 17 Libra. His energy focused on this point for longer than usual…and Saturn never does anything by chance.

So, what can we expect from a Saturn retrograde? Well, more saturn stuff of course, but with the prefix “re” inserted in front of the word eg re-structure, re-commit, re-focus, re-calibrate, re-trench. 

Saturn rules the supports, structures, rules and responsibilities in our life. In theory, Saturn is the fun cop who says “no, it is time you went home young lady,” when every part of you is crying out to say yes. When Saturn is retrograde, he is sending you back to your room to think very carefully about what you are doing, goals you have started working towards and the commitments you have made. It is sort of like a planetary cooling off period when it is OK to re-assess and change direction or re-assess and say “no”. This is not the time to make new commitments or start new projects, but great to sort out just what you want out of existing goals.

Saturn retrogrades give you time to sort your shit out, get rid of any frustrations and re-think the viability of any promises you have already made.

The area of life Saturn is retrograde in is emphasised and needs defining. If it is the 7^th, relationships will need to be defined. If it is the 2^nd, money issues and values will come to the forefront. With Saturn in Libra in 2011, goals and ambitions will be looked at in terms of relationships & moderation.

The structures that are built during a Saturn retrograde will stand you in good stead once he starts to move forward again.

Check out what is in your chart on or around 10-17 Libra- this is your area of focus. This is 7th/8th house for me so my focus is around relationships, the assets of the relationship, other peoples stuff & the really deep base things of life- you know: death, sex & taxes. Given that I have no planets in range that will be touched by aspect by Saturn, I am not expecting more than a general re-hashing of what Saturn means in my life in relation to 7th & 8th house issues. At least, that is what I hope .

In terms of aspects:

• If you have a planet or chart point (such as Ascendant, Midheaven, Descendant or IC) at 10-17 Libra, Saturn will conjunct this planet/point during the retrograde period.
• If you have a planet or chart point at 10-17 Aries, Saturn will oppose this point during the retrograde period
• If you have a planet or chart point at 10-17 Cancer or Capricorn, Saturn will square this point during the retrograde
• If you have a planet or chart point at 10-17 Gemini or Aquarius, Saturn will trine this point during the retrograde
• If you have a planet or chart point at 10-17 Sagittarius or Leo, Saturn will sextile this point during the retrograde

Australia Day shopping in Queen St Mall, Brisbane

Yes, today was Australia Day. The day when we celebrate being Australian in all the different forms that takes. Looking at the news & the papers & breakfast TV this morning we could be mistaken in thinking that today was instead about:

• analysing what it means to be Australian
• debating whether we should get rid of the flag
• what constitutes appropriate Aussie Day food
• if anyone actually understands what “girt by sea” means
• why no one else in the world understand what the terms “bludger”, “wanker”, or “dry as a Dead dingoes donger” actually means.
• are you un orstraylian if you don’t throw a prawn or half a sheep on a barbie

in fact today, at least according to the media, was about analysing being Australian rather than enjoying being an Australian. Perhaps that was the presence of the deep & meaningful Moon in Scorpio or maybe even that rather awkward Mercury/Saturn sqaure looking for the meaning in things…and the communication of such.

This energy will be pretty much the same tomorrow. Emotions always run deeply when the Moon is in Scorpio and words spoken can not be unspoken. Having said that, pavlova is an Australian not a kiwi invention, I don’t like tim tams, I don’t like lamingtons & there is absolutely no substitute for vegemite. There I said it.

Further, today I didn’t go anywhere near a barbecue. I did, however, attend (sort of by accident) a land rights rally (peaceful), did some shopping (& attended to some suspension issues), watched the poms beat the Aussies in the cricket & had a lamb curry & beer for dinner. To me that celebrated being Australian- free speech, cultural melting pot, beer & a day off to do whatever you want.

As another famous Aussie, Russell Crowe (he is a kiwi when he is behaving badly & our Russell when he is doing what he does best…and as for that voice…) once said:

“God bless America. God save the Queen. God defend New Zealand and thank Christ for Australia.”

Ans as millions of Aussies as sporting events everywhere cry: “Aussie Aussie Aussie… Oy Oy Oy”

Brisbane River- still murky 2 weeks after the flood peak

There is this road (in New Zealand) between Wellington and the Wairapa Valley wine region. Locals call it the Gorge. I had driven it before, but as a passenger…& then really only noticed the steepness of the road on the way into the wine regions (if you know what I mean).

A few years ago my daughter & I did a mini girlie road trip from Auckland down to Wellington. With a stop in Martinborough in the Wairapa, we had no choice but to do the Gorge road. About half way up the mountain I took a look ahead & saw nothing but steep winding hairpin bends as far as the eye could see. I felt like I would never get to the top…and I had a mini panic attack. My hands went sweaty, I found it difficult to breathe & I completely went rigid behind the wheel…until common sense kicked in. There was no other way off the mountain but to keep going. And with my daughter in the car, I had a responsibility to get us both to the other side safely. And there was no real logical reason to assume that I wouldn’t be able to. But for that split second the responsibility was as big as the self doubt.

The same thing happened yesterday. I chanced a look ahead & couldn’t see an end to the job I am doing- and end to the immediate crisis. I froze up & I couldn’t breathe. For the last 2 weeks I haven’t had time to stop & think, let along stop my head in order to sleep properly & yesterday I just couldn’t see an end to it.

The effort to stay glass half full in an environment which was completely empty was just that little too much. I delayed the full meltdown & ducked outside to sit under a tree & breathe. But what has this to do with astrology?

Jupiter, in the 1st degree of Aries is conjunct my natal Saturn. Not quite exact (Saturn is at 58′ Aries), it is close enough to be doing me damage.

Thinking about it, Jupiter in Aries is an expansionary go forward just flipping do it energy. Saturn, though, can be fearful- especially when it is in the 1st house as it is for me. It can manifest in a belief that you just aren’t good enough, that you aren’t capable of doing what needs to be done. It can manifest as a lack of self confidence & absolutely does so for me. Where Saturn is in your chart is what you are afraid to be- where the fear or lack of confidence is. In the 1st, that fear is about self. Usually though, Jupiters’ faith is enough to push me through.

Yesterday that absolute faith that we can rebuild something in a week rather than 3 months hit Saturn with the most humungous thud. And I forgot how to breathe. And I forgot how to act. And I forgot how to fake it. Sure what we are doing is amazing. What we have achieved thus far is amazing. There is no logical reason to assume we can’t get to the top.

Gateway Bridge. Pic from Brisbane Times

I have this recurring dream where I am in a car & there is a passenger in the car that I am responsible for. I can reach the pedals, but I can’t work the brakes & I can’t where I am going. I know I am on one of those bridges that arches high high high. In my dream it is always the Gateway Bridge in Brisbane (although I didn’t recognise it as such until the 1st time we drove over it to get to the Sunshine Coast). It always has been. I can’t see where I am going & I can’t control the car but I have to trust that I can get us all to the other side.

I always have this dream when I feel out of control. I always have this dream when I feel that the responsibility is too much to bear. Saturn in the 1st. I had the dream last night. In fact, I have had it a lot over the last 2 weeks.

With Uranus still hooked up very closely with my Moon, my emotions are all over the place, but have to remain as tightly controlled as I possibly can. Jupiter is tearing through forging an expansionary path, but natal Saturn has held up a stop sign & is asking “are you sure?” “are you up to this?” “there are a lot of people depending on this to be right, you know…”

So I allowed the meltdown (relatively controlled) & with the help of a talking tomcat (don’t ask), it is full steam ahead again. This time Jupiter has won. Sure the battle is by no means over, but somehow or other all the pieces will eventually go together- there is reall no reason to assume otherwise.

Brisbane Botanical Gardens. Pic by me.