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On Desperate Housewives the other day Teri Hatcher’s character, Susan Mayer/Delfino was reliving how life would have been if instead of kicking Karl out when she caught him cheating, if she tried to make the relationship work.

She says to him something like “Why don’t you just go upstairs and unpack your stuff and I will learn how to swallow my rage,” and reaches for the 1^st of what was obviously (judging from subsequent scenes which showed a substantially blown out Susan Myers) a lot of chocolate chip cookies. By swallowing her rage, both metaphorically and physically, Susan was trying to hold onto what was left of her marriage at all costs. The subsequent weight she put on was symbolic of all of those feelings she had swallowed. In holding on so tightly, she let other opportunities pass her by.

This concept of holding on is a Taurean one. In the body Taurus rules the throat, the thyroid, the metabolic system and how the body actually stores fat and energy sources. Quite simply, Taurus represents the principle of storage and containment or retention. This principle is applied to energy expenditure (natural metabolism can be slow) and feelings (Taurus likes to contain herself).

“Swallowing” emotions- whether they be rage, fear, frustration or something else entirely- is common behaviour for Taurus who has difficulty in expressing what they feel and what they need. This is particularly true of those who have their Moon and/or Ascendant in Taurus.

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The Moon, which represents nutrition and comfort and what we need instinctively to feel safe, is exalted in Taurus. Being a Venus ruled sign, Taurus is particularly prone to comfort herself with sweet treats or simple carbohydrates- food that looks good, tastes sweet and has a luxurious texture. Whilst we can all comfort eat to a certain extent, the Taurus Moon can be the ultimate comfort eater!

This tendency, coupled with the potential of a relatively slow metabolism means that Taurus can put on weight easily (again, especially the Taurus Moon and Taurus Ascendant)… and once on, only diligence and concerted effort will get it off. Taurus is not blessed with the fast burn of, say, Aries. She is, however, blessed with lasting power and endurance. So, although slow (and possibly reluctant) to start, when Taurus sets her mind to it, she can last on a program longer than most other signs and is less likely to fall off the wagon along the way.

Perhaps the hardest habit for Taurus to adopt when it comes to weight loss is that of exercise. Yet, it is absolutely essential in order to boost the metabolism and also to stay in touch with the physical body. Walking is perfect for Taurus as it may not feel like a workout. Some shopping centres even have mall walking groups- surely the ultimate workout for Taurus! We have an IKEA near my workplace & on a rainy day, following the arrows all the way round can fill up a lunchtime!

Taurus loves music so dance is also great- anything that allows Taurus to reconnect with her body. Whatever activity is chosen, it needs to be something which can be integrated into a regular routine and ingrained as habit.

Taurus finds regular habits, once ingrained, whether healthy or not, difficult to change. For Taurus the maintenance of good routines, regardless of the chaos that might be taking place around you is integral to health.

Taurus loves good food and wine for the sensory experience rather than any nutritional need. When Taurus cooks and when she eats she is alive to the visual appeal of a plate, and the combination of flavours and textures. Eating something simply because it is healthy holds no appeal for Taurus. Likewise grabbing something quickly and on the run will bring little pleasure. Taurus likes to take her time and savour the entire process. A Taurus colleague recently baked a loaf of bread that took over 6 weeks to produce- she created and fed her own “starter” and used it to make the bread. Whilst she wasn’t ecstatic with the result, it was the process that was the point.

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Love is another sensory pleasure to be savoured rather than rushed. Where Scorpio is (arguably) one of the most jealous and sexual of the signs, Taurus is one of the most possessive and sensual. Taurus likes to take her time and needs to have all of her senses engaged- this is not a Wham Bam Thankyou Maam shag.

A physical sign, Taurus likes touch, texture and comfort. If you want to seduce a Taurus you won’t go far wrong than with a good meal, cuddles, massages, or lazy afternoons tucked up under a rug on the lounge watching old movies or the football (depending on whether it is a girl or a guy you are trying to impress, of course).

Taurus of either sex does not fall in love lightly and will tend not to exert too much energy in the chase- preferring to seduce and be seduced rather than hunt prey. Although slow to love, Taureans of both sexes are equally as reluctant to let it go if it all falls apart. Complete closure is required, sometimes numerous times, even if the object once desired has begun to tarnish… and rust… and left the country with someone else.

Taurus offers complete loyalty, and expects the same. However, where Scorpio will gather the data to prove a suspected infidelity (and then wait for a suitable and preferably painful revenge), Taurus prefers not to know the details and will retreat and contain the rage until it has all blown over and her partner is back where he belongs. This isn’t to say that cheating is tolerated- far from it- just that Taurus understands that sometimes it is best to settle down and practically look at the situation in terms of the whole relationship and what is at risk in both letting go or holding on.

Taurus women are usually ultra-feminine earth mother types- with curves in all the right places. Ms Taurus knows the way to her mans’ heart is by satisfying his physical comfort needs. She may start by cooking him dinner, greeting him at the door with a beer and a back rub after a hard days work. Next thing he knows she has the keys and he is completely ensnared in a very comfortable set of chains. Ms Taurus won’t forget,but she will attempt to forgive and remain loyal and do all that she can to hang on to you, your relationship and the life she has built around it.

Taurus guys are the strong, silent types. He will court you slowly and be there when you decide that you just can’t go back to that cheating so & so of an ex again- no matter how good the sex was. Mr Taurus will offer a solid and stable landing pad and help put back the pieces that your bad boy ex left behind. Before you know it he has moved in and is doing the groceries for you and taken up residence on your couch. Mr Taurus will work hard to provide for you- your comfort is his focus. in return, he needs to know that you are true to him. Mr Taurus is a long term and very attractive prospect.   He is Susan Mayer/Delfino’s Mike, while Karl is her bad boy ex.

Which brings me nicely back to Susan’s “what if” scenario…

Three years and many kilos after asking Karl to stay, she meets Mike Delfino when he comes to unclog her sink. But he clears more than her sink… (no, I am not going there…) After rejecting her very obvious advances, he simply says “If you are unhappy, you should do something about it.” She sees her distorted reflection in the toaster and puts down the bowl of cake batter she had picked up as an automatic reaction to comfort herself.

Soon after, Karl packs his bags and leaves. “Thats it- after 15 years of marriage?” she screeches at him.

What she tells him she wants to hear him say is: “Thanks Susan for eating nothing but broccoli & colon cleanser for the last 6 months so you can lose weight and look good for me.” Or “Thanks for wasting the best years of your life while I went out and banged everything with a GED and a tramp stamp.”

Instead he says, “You could have spared yourself all this pain if you just let me go the 1^st time. You really do deserve better, Susan”

As he leaves she sees Mike go into the house across the road with his pregnant wife. In her “what if” scenario, she realises that letting Karl go when she did was a whole lot better than trying to hang on to something that no longer suited her life.

That is the Taurus endpoint- knowing just what to hang on to, what to let go of and what really makes you feel safe, secure and at peace.

Check out Scorpio Tina Arena’s hit Chains.

Yes, a little late to pop it on here, but here is Sunday’s newsletter for those whodon’t get it emailed out.

Sydney as seen from the Zoo

I have just spent an absolutely glorious day at Taronga Zoo in Sydney (the pic above is the view of the city from the Zoo) checking out their miracle baby elephant. Yes he now has a posh Thai name, but to most of us, he is still Mr Shuffles (that is him below with last years baby & the proud Mum awwwww).

Stacks on Mr Shuffles

My original intention was to take it a tad easy this last week, maybe a couple of days off to spend with my daughter, catch up wit

h a friend, get up to date astro wise. Instead it turned into absolute chaos with unexpected (but very welcome) guests, a couple of family crises, and some unscheduled repeat visits to the airport due to the eruption of that unpronounceable volcano in Iceland and the inability of guests to get home to the UK. I got through all of that only to have my shoulder self destruct again. Yawn.

So needless to say, I am still behind & if I owe you something (I always seem to keep saying that…) this week- I promise!

On the Blogs

Suffice to say, not a lot of posting.

What does the Aries New Moon, ancient Babylonians and the return of borrowed garden tools have to do with resolutions? Find out here on Your Career & the Cosmos.

Also on Your Career & the Cosmos, a relatively controversial piece on multi-tasking- Just Another Corporate Myth? This was prompted by an article my 2^nd Favourite Aries Male picked up on the plane, but Herald columnist Sarah Wilson also wrote an interesting piece on this today which compared multitasking to empty calories. Not sure about that one (but if I am getting airborn calories from multitasking, it certainly explains a few things!), although I have spent the whole week trying to prove that multitasking is possible.

On Friday, during my 2^nd trip to the airport dodging accidents on the M2, Homebush Bay Drive & everywhere else in Sydney, trying to work out how I could simultaneously be in Epping picking up my parents and managing to get my footy tips in on time, my brain blew a gasket. I am no longer leading the Footy Tipping. But I did find something with a simultaneous output- when I update Facebook & Twitter from TweetDeck, both are registered at the same time. Whats that? The application is producing the output, not me? Hmmmmm.

I have not posted anything on the personal blog this week… but will be posting something frivolous & self indulgent regarding Venus in Aries, Venus in Taurus and the things the Lonely Planet Guide Doesn’t Tell You about Macau. Hopefully with school going back this week, things will start to get back to normal.

What’s happening up there?

OK, a bit happening next week:

• Mercury is now retrograde in Taurus, Pluto is retrograde in Capricorn and Saturn is still retrograde in Virgo
• The Sun moves into Taurus next week, so will start posting Taurus stuff
• Venus moves into flirtatious Gemini on the 26^th.  

 Wishing all Aussies a great Anzac Day next Sunday…

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Symbalon Cards

Sydney doesn’t really have an Autumn as such- perversely it is one of the things I dislike about the city I live in. I love seasons, I love weather extremes and can’t abide sameness… and Sydney, as beautiful as she is, can really be sometimes just a tad too predictable with just a few short weeks of seasonal change between what is usually perfect weather.

In the Southern states and cooler Highland areas the leaves are changing into glorious but short lived colour- every shade of red through orange to brown. In Sydney the colour is all too fleeting before the cooler winds shake them from their trees to become the bane of garden proud householders.  The leaves seem to go straight from tree to brown on the ground and mulch in the lawnmower almost overnight.

From Easter the nights start to get cooler and damper, but the days are beautifully blue and still quite warm- the humidity has gone and for a few short weeks the weather is pretty close to perfect. Just a few short weeks later perceptible change is in the air and by Anzac Day Autumn has arrived, coinciding neatly with the Sun’s move into Taurus.

The pace is slowing. The 1^st real sign that summer is over is here with the start of the Football Season and the appearance of footy tipping competitions in workplaces around the country. The sounds of summer have been replaced by the rustle of leaves crunching under foot and the curses of the unsuspecting walker who kicks that same pile of leaves only to find some hidden dog shit lurking beneath. The textures associated with warmer clothes, the feel of the cold on cheeks and hands first thing in the morning, the taste of autumn produce and spices and the warmth of earth tones. Of course, in the Northern hemisphere the opposite is happening- but you get the idea.

The Earth signs are vitalised by texture, taste and colour- the most physical of sensations. Taurus, being a Venus ruled sign, is inspired by beauty and anything that stimulates the senses. Autumn (and Spring, in the North) delivers this- in spades. Gardeners, that most earthly of occupations, are busy with routine seasonal tasks-putting the garden to bed for the winter (or waking it up to Spring colour). We know that the change is coming, but for now it is nice to slow down and find comfort in routine. Take the time to smell the roses, survey your space and settle back to enjoy it in relative peace.

Like the other Earth signs, Taurus needs to be recognised for her hard work and reliability. But where Capricorn needs to be seen by her position on the ladder and achievements and Virgo for her service, Taurus knows that you can’t spend either a Job Title or indispensability at the shops. But she does like to buy and accumulate things- what she possesses contributes greatly to her creative and emotional security, her pride and sense of safety.

Taken to extremes, Taurus can take to accumulation for its own sake- buying things she really doesn’t need. Generally speaking, this would indicate insecurity or emotional clutter- but given Taurus’ legendary self containment, it is often difficult to get to the bottom of the real problem.

Taurus is not one to take risks with that which is important to her. She is dependable and safe and takes her time to absorb what is happening around her. Slow to anger, she rarely over-reacts and is an absolute rock in a crisis. Scorpio Hubby has Taurus rising and his self control and ability to remain outwardly calm when I am falling apart is incredible.

In common with all fixed signs, Taurus is incredibly stubborn. Where Aquarius holds onto his ideas & opinions, Leo his pride and confidence and Scorpio her emotions, Taurus likes to hang onto…stuff. Taurus is attached to whatever she believes is hers- whether this is her home, her job, her partner, her status quo, her weight- even when the use by date has long gone. She doesn’t like change and will stamp those feet firmly into the mud until the quicksand threatens to pull her under.

Where her opposite Scorpio is suspicious of change, Taurus likes to hold onto the way things are simply because it is comfortable, requires less effort and is safe- why change something that isn’t irrevocably broken? And, being a Venus ruled sign, Taurus likes comfort and ease and is reluctant to needlessly waste energy. She will sit quietly and listen to advice, smile nicely, thank you and proceed to ignore your suggestions or guidance. Taurus generally needs to be dragged to the starting line and left until she is ready to take it on board.

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Lyrics are from “The Distance” by Cake… even the band name is Taurean.

Multi-tasking- corporate myth or a very good reason why Aries should not fly long haul without something to keep them gainfully occupied- and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Check it out in all its politcally incorrect & generalistic (I made that word up) here.