Trust. A simple one syllable word, but a concept that can be truly alien to some of us- often for no real or logical reason.

A friend and I were talking about this today. About trust and about laying yourself open for someone else. About the sort of Plutonic self- work that is sometimes required in order to eliminate fears and previous rejections and just…trust.

Those of us with either a Scorpio Moon or what equates to a Scorpio Moon (Moon in close aspect- especially conjunct, square or opposite- Pluto in the natal chart) find it difficult to trust. We also find it difficult to let go and may stubbornly hold onto patterns of the past, revenge fantasies or grudges when in fact these need to be eliminated.

Our shadow is obsession, our light is transformation and healing. It is these themes that are under full high beam at the Scorpio Full Moon… which is tomorrow…9.09pm Tuesday night (Sydney time) to be exact.

I was out earlier this evening walking with Five Foot Nothing & El Poocho and, well, you can’t help but see it up there. This annual face-off between what is essentially body (Sun in Taurus) and soul (Moon in Scorpio) is all about digging deeply and honestly to get to what you really really want but just can’t say. As Muse would sing “the undisclosed desires in your heart”. The stuff hidden in the back of your closet. The real Scorpionic stuff in life.

The Full Moon is like a high beam exposing secrets and fears. With the Sun in the opposite sign Taurus, control and trust issues also come to the surface. Taurus is about retention and Scorpio elimination. Are you holding onto something that you no longer need? Maybe there is some truth lurking just beyond plain sight- something you know is there but simply don’t want to face, something you need to express, but just can’t get the words out. Under the Scorpio Full Moon it is time to find it, deal with it, get rid of it, move on. If only it were that easy…

Scorpio is associated with the 8^th house. It is also associated with Pluto- so real soul level, deep dark mystery stuff. Scorpio and the 8^th house is associated with knock down rebuild transformations- the Grand Designs of the zodiac, so to speak. But it is also extreme, scary and very much below the surface. Not easy, but strangely exciting… in a Scorpio leather & whips sort of way…figuratively speaking… please don’t take that one literally .

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me….

Lyrics from S&M by Rhianna

Anyway, check out where Scorpio falls in your chart to get a clue as to where the spotlight is shining for you. Think about what (or who) you want at a soul level- this is deep stuff. Especially notice if you have chart points in Scorpio or any of the fixed signs at or around 26 degrees. Personally, this is the 9^th house for me, conjunct natal Neptune and feeding into my water grand trine- including an almost exact trine to my Moon.

The rulers of this Full Moon are Venus (ruling the Sun in Taurus) and Mars/Pluto (ruling the Moon in Scorpio). Venus (in the sign she rules) is whispering sweet nothings into Mercurys’ ear and is rapidly chasing down a reluctant Mars. These aspects make now the perfect time to practically examine relationship and have those difficult conversations you may have been putting off…perhaps over a nice meal or a bottle of wine…you never know what secrets may come tumbling out.

One of the most searched for phrases on this site is “Taurus man unfaithful”… WTF?

This has made me wonder two things:

• Are there lots of women out there who just happen to read my site who are with Taurus men who are unfaithful? Or
• Is there just a couple of women who are with unfaithful Taurus men who keep asking the Universe and hoping for a different answer…sort of like the way I keep asking the Magic 8 ball as specific question of cast the same horary chart over and over again… or the way auditors and financial bods ask the same stuff in different ways.

So, are Taurus men unfaithful?  Regular readers know my view on this one. I don’t believe that any one sign is more prone to cheating than the next. Having said that, Taurus does have an appetite…for everything…

Which brings me to Mars in Taurus (both sexes) and Taurus men in general…Taurus Rising men too will fall into this category as well.

Mars is in his detriment in Taurus. Taurus is a Venus ruled sign and is all about pleasure and taking the time to smell the roses. Mars, as we know, is driven to win. Taurus’ motivations are around physical security and her goals are closely aligned to achieving this.

In Taurus, Mars’ energy is steady, controlled and strong. Once he has decided that he wants someone or something he is prepared to work for it and will be there for the long haul. Mars in Taurus has immense staying power and is prepared to go the distance. This makes him perfectly suited for long term projects and efforts of endurance where he will succeed where others fall by the roadside. Where Aries starts well, Taurus’ energy is one of finishing the job.

Once he has made up his mind, there is very little that will change it- adaptability is not Taurus’ strong suit. Likewise, once he has achieved his goals and acquired whatever it was he desired, he is reluctant to relinquish it. This goes for relationships too. Taurus likes his comforts so once the daks are on and the feet are on your sofa and the footy is on TV you will have trouble moving him. Contented cow… so to speak.

In this way, Mars in Taurus is usually faithful and loyal- but not necessarily for the right reasons. Generally slow to commit (Taurus likes to be sure that the relationship will be provided for), once in it, he is in it for ever- often regardless of whether it continues to be a functional relationship. He likes the comfort and stability that comes from long term relationships. Essentially, he is easily pleased and easily satisfied.

If his comfort or security is threatened, he can be possessive, jealous and down-right bullish… raging bull-ish. Whilst slow to arouse, the Mars in Taurus temper is powerful indeed. Head down, horns up, red haze behind the eyes, nostrils flaring and charge!

Mars in Taurus can also hold a pretty decent grudge when he needs to and will maintain the rage long after its’ best by date. As such, your calm, patient and tolerant Taurus man can become quite cruel and vindictive in the case of a nasty break-up.

Whilst not the most inventive or experimental of lovers, Taurus has what can only be termed a lusty appetite. His desire is powerful, yet controlled- he likes to take his time. This is a guy who really is in touch with…well, touch! He isn’t the type of guy who would get off on mind games or emotional wheeling and dealing or even internet sex. He is, instead, all about the body and will be totally “present” and “in the moment” when he is with you.

Mars in Earth signs is sensual and tactile. Sex for Mars in Taurus is purely physical and is about the satisfaction of a physical appetite. Isn’t it always?  Yes, but in the case of Mars in Taurus, sex is an animal instinct- just like eating- and not for any search for an ideal or variety or power or romance as it may be for other signs. Because he is so attuned to his appetites, the way to this mans heart really is through his stomach…he is also one who can absolutely read your body language!

Taurus is also closely aligned to money and financial matters, so Taurus man will often align his ego to how well he can provide. Unlike Aries man who wants to charge in on his white horse and throw you onto his saddle to whisk you away from all your problems (long and meaningful sigh), Taurus man will look after you in a more practical way.

He is calm and soothing when you need that most. His very fixity provides a steady platform on which you can land and his earthy practicality supports even the most dramatic of emotional outpourings. Sure you may be frustrated by his reluctance to move, do more than one thing at a time or try anything new. You may stamp your feet when he refuses to go out partying once he has got comfortable for the night. You may not be able to speed him up, but once he has been roused, he won’t stop in a hurry.

And women with Mars in Taurus? All of the above, for sure. Her appetites are physical, her energy steady and lasting. She is prepared to work hard for what she wants and will not be deviated from her course. But what does this strong willed woman want in a partner?  He will have Taurean characteristics. He may have the Sun, Moon, Ascendant, Venus or Mars in Taurus. He may have a heavy 2^nd house chart.

She wants someone who will make her comfortable, someone who will satisfy her physically and look after her materially. She wants someone who will soothe her emotions, make her a cuppa and give her a back rub at the end of a difficult day. Someone who is laid back when she is manic. Someone who will help her achieve her goals. Someone who will read her body language.

Slow down and dance with me…yeah….slow

Skip a beat and move with my body…yeah…slow…

Lyrics from Slow by Kylie Minogue

Todays’ Moon is in Cancer, rather fitting given that the Moon represents Mother in the birth chart and the Moon is the ruler of Cancer.

The Moon in Cancer is all about nourishment and nurturing, about remembering the past and protecting the future. The Moon in Cancer takes history and uses it to describe today. The Moon in Cancer is emotional, moody and intuitive- but guards herself and those around her closely in a protective hard shell.

The Moon in Cancer is home cooking, home fires and full bellies. Much like Mother herself. And just like Mother, the Moon in Cancer can be difficult.

April Elliott Kent posted one of the best blogs I have read recently around Mother and Moon aspects in the natal chart- The Moon and Momzilla. That article got me thinking this morning about my chart and my Mum…and our relationship.

Astrologers will tell you that difficult aspects to the Moon, ie squares, oppositions and conjunctions with some of the more “difficult” planets, will mean you had (or have) a difficult relationship with your Mother. In many cases this may be true, but as with all things astrological, there are many more less literal readings of the situation.

Take my Moon for example. In Pisces in the 1^st house (I wear my heart on my sleeve, my Moon is me…), my Moon has some difficult aspects to deal with:

• Conjunct Chiron
• Conjunct (out of sign, so I pretend it doesn’t exist) Saturn (less than 3 degrees)
• Opposite Pluto
• Opposite Uranus

According to astrologers I have encountered over the years, this tells me the following about my mother:

• Conjunct Chiron- My mother died or abandoned me when I was child. My Mum is still extremely present (and, even more impressively, the same weight as the day she got married). The only abandonment I suffered was the usual separation and responsibilities as a result of being the eldest of 4.
• Conjunct Saturn- indicates a lonely, oppressive or otherwise burdened childhood. Nope. Sure we moved around a lot, sure I had responsibility, but trust me when you have younger brothers and sisters the problem is usually one of fantasising about being alone than actually getting the opportunity to be so.
• Opposite Pluto- rejected by Mother early in life- either real or imagined.
• Opposite Uranus- according to Stephen Arroyo in The Chart Interpretation Handbook “there is a gnawing desire to change over one’s identity in a radical way, and to rid oneself of all past encumbrances and conditioning…these people usually find it hard to be happy in the present since they are always powerfully aware of the impact of the past (the Moon) and the future (Uranus). Hmmmmmm- I can’t really argue with this one!

Like April, I have been told that I am in denial. Perhaps, but I don’t think so. Sure I have had my “mother” issues- most women do at some point in time.  But, contrary to popular astrological wisdom, my Mum is not harsh, difficult, over bearing, oppressive, power hungry, unstable or absent. Very much the opposite in many ways. Instead, I had a relatively problem free childhood in a fully functional and stable family with two parents who both have our security as their primary concern. In fact, we possibly are a dysfunctional family because of our functionality.

My Mum was (and is) a stay at home Mum who managed to bring us all up with remarkably few hang-ups…and we have all done pretty well for ourselves and have never gone without anything.

Yes, we have had problems in our relationship…because that is what it is, a relationship. I am extremely watery, extremely emotional, selfish in the way that New Moon and 1^st house Suns often are, and have control issues. My Mum is all Air (Sun, Venus and Mercury in Aquarius) and Earth. She has no water. We are two very different people with two very different sets of priorities and trigger points. That is who we are.

My Mum isn’t perfect, no one is…not even me . In fact, just as in April’s post, the flawed female in this relationship is me.  I am the restless one, the emotionally unstable one, the one who has power issues. I am Moon-Uranus, Moon-Pluto- every Mum has to have some challenges in life, otherwise they can’t possibly classify it as work .

Moon/Saturn is me. I am the one who has difficulty with emotional expression. I am the one who has the self confidence of a flea (if, indeed a flea has self confidence) and is defensive around feedback of all types. I am the one who is always going for “good enough”. I am the one who as a child saw criticism where there was encouragement.

Moon/Pluto is also me. Sure my Mum has some pretty Plutonic stuff that went down when she was a kid, but I am the one who is almost compulsively drawn to rejection in order to avoid dependency and loss.

Moon/Uranus is me. My moods come fast and erratically. I am the kid who would stand there with her chin stuck out and her hands on her hips and declare her right to independence, her right to freedom of speech, her right to freedom of thought, her right to be right…and that of whatever my latest cause was.

None of this is bad- it is who I am and that’s OK. My point is, it isn’t how I see my Mum, nor do these aspects describe our relationship. The relationship they describe is mine…with me. The aspects are mine, as is the projection.

I am proud of my Mum and I love my Mum- she has done an amazing job with 4 very different children. She is a strong woman, she is a capable woman. She is also the very best possible mother for someone like me. With the amount of Pisces and water that I have in my chart, the very likely potential would be for me to wind up broke and broken in a gutter somewhere, addicted to something, with a series of destructive relationships behind me. 

If I had a Mum that had allowed me full rein and indulgence of my emotions and did not apply the boundaries that she did, and didn’t push me to perform academically in the way that she did, or ask me to take responsibility in the way that she did I would be a very different version of myself. Thanks to my Mum and her strength, that is not the case.

The astrology may show me a perception of my relationship with my Mum, but it doesn’t show me the reality of it, the potential of it or the triumphs and challenges of it. To see that I would need to look at both charts from a viewpoint of relationship astrology…and that presents a very different and clearer picture. How else can I look at the Moon aspects in the charts of my brother and sisters and see four very different patterns for the same mother?

I look at my own daughter’s Moon aspects (an exact conjunction between the Moon and Neptune) and wonder what issues I will pass on to her. I also look at the relationship synastry between my daughter and my mother and see a relationship that will be positive, supportive and one of true friendship. My daughter’s Aries Sun, Mercury and Mars are conjunct Mum’s Aries Moon. Her Moon is conjunct my Mum’s Sun. Mum’s Venus and Mercury is conjunct my daughters’ Venus. There is some really lovely synastry there.

Perhaps as astrologers, instead of jumping to conclusions about clients’ relationships with their Mother, we take a more balanced approach. Sure Moon aspects (especially the challenging ones) tell us some pretty impressive information about our sub conscious and our feelings toward our families and our Mums, but judgements should not be made in isolation. Mother/child relationships are just that- relationships…each one different, each one important with those experiences touching us intensely in a truly formative way.

My Mum taught me a lot- the bit about never knitting a man a jumper until you are married to him I found extremely useful, as was her very special chook meditation. I can only hope that my daughter treasures my pieces of wisdom as much- especially the one about no matter how late, drunk or tired you are, the make- up needs to come off.

Happy Mothers Day to all the Mums of bubs and furry bubs. Happy Mothers Day to all those who are nurturing something or somebody. After all, that is what being a mother is really all about! Happy Mothers Day to my Mum, her Mum and my husbands’ Mum- you have all made our little family what it is and the three of us (four, if you include Kali the wonder spaniel) thank you.

 

There is a wedding happening today all the way over in London…which may only be news to you if you have been spending the last few months living in isolation somewhere away from TV, social networking and every other kind of media on the Universe.

I distinctly remember sitting up to watch the last wedding- that of his parents in 1981. Lying on the floor in Faulconbridge in the Blue Mountains (where we were living at the time) I just wanted them to get past the palaver of the lead up and get to the dress…and the kiss. Back then I wanted to believe it was a love match…later I just felt sorry for both of them. 

Astrology teachers love celebrity weddings- especially royal or presidential ones- they provide a brilliant opportunity to study real life relationships from an astrological viewpoint. I recall studying the relationship chart for Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer and, at the other end of the spectrum, that of Bill and Hilary Clinton…

Some other astrologers who are better than this stuff than me have spent time and effort doing synastry/ relationship charts for Will and Kate. Here are some links, google it and you will find more.

Kelly Surtees does a lovely back to basics elemental discussion. See also my post Love etc for some hints on how to apply this technique to your own relationship.

Marina at Darkstar Astrology does a more in depth piece, looking at contacts to each natal chart from the wedding chart.

Speaking of the wedding chart, here it is. I have drafted it for the advertised time, but we all know about brides.

Some points:

• They are marrying on a Venus day- Friday…awww
• As long as they say their vows before 11.44am it will be in the hour of Jupiter and Jupiter is, after all, the planet of Kings
• The Moon is in Pisces and void of course. The void of course thing isn’t good, but the Moon in Pisces is all about fantasy and glamour and romance…Oh Yeah!
• Ideally the Moon should be increasing in light…in the case of this wedding it is the opposite, in its’ final phase.
• The Ascendant is Leo, the King. The chart ruler is the Sun, in Taurus trine Pluto. This is powerful.
• The 10^th house is jam packed of really good stuff- Jupiter, Mars- this is a BIG union- public, royal etc the clichés will flow
• Will it last? Who knows, this appears to be a love match and that is gorgeous. Her Capricorn Sun is ambitious and knows it is as easy to fall in love with a powerful man as a poor one. Capricorn is also one of those signs that is in it for the long haul. His Cancer Sun needs family and roots, hers needs physical and material security. Sounds pretty even to me!

In short, I am over the hype and am one of those really weird girls who never really wanted to do the great white wedding thing (way too much Uranus in this Pisces heart), but I do believe in love and hope with all my heart that this fairytale will extend into real life…besides which, I do want to see the dress…

If you want to look at electional charts for weddings, some of the best resources are:

Electional Astrology, by Vivian Robson… an oldie but a goodie… & taught me how to do Electional Astrology

Star Guide to Weddings, by my favourite Wedding Astrologer, April Elliott Kent.

When Mars is in Aries it is hot indeed. And yes, even though I refer to “him” throughout this piece, most of what I am about to say applies to both girls & guys with Mars in Aries and Aries men in general. An Aries male with Mars in Aries? Double hot. An Aries male with Mars in Aries and an Aries Ascendant? Pass the fire hose! And I mean that in an entirely non phallic sense…mostly…

Mars rules Aries, so is at his strongest, most physical, most vital, most impulsive, most independent here. He thrives on physical activity and direct action, he loves the thrill of the chase and the scent of a battle. He makes decisions impulsively (and adjusts them as he goes), is a dynamic rather than charismatic leader and completely spontaneous. He has the ability to excite and energise those around him to join him in whatever quest he is on.

He likes to conquer things…and people. The more difficult the hunt, the more unattainable the prize, the more he appreciates the outcome. He is turned on by a challenge- whether that is a business problem that needs solving in a hurry, a woman that he doesn’t think he can have, a physical obstacle that needs to be climbed, a race that needs to be run.

He admires courage and risk takers, but can be quite selfish in his pursuit of his desires and tends to overwhelm his prey. When Mars in Aries wants something, he will go after it with every part of himself. When Mars in Aries wants something, getting it is the only thing that matters and everything will be great…until he gets it and then turns his attentions to the next thing which is the only thing that ever matters…

He is easily annoyed and is turned off by, well lots of things really, but specifically laziness, excuses, predictability, indecision, queuing, anything he has to wait too long for without result.  His temper is hot, fast, directly to the point and without warning, but unless he has planets (especially the Moon) in Scorpio or Cancer, he won’t tend to hold onto a grudge and is annoyed by those who do. As such, he says what he needs to say and gets on with it. The explosion is loud, dramatic, painful and over pretty quickly, but like his other Mars cousin (Scorpio) he has difficulty admitting he is wrong, accepting blame or saying sorry- how can you apologise for something when you are never wrong and have moved on already? Why waste time looking back when there is so much more to chase down?

Whilst he likes getting into battle strategies, he doesn’t do manipulation or political spin- he isn’t subtle enough for that- in fact, subtlety annoys him too. When he is ready to move forward you had better be ready to keep up with him- he won’t wait while you faff around with decisions- he takes action in an instant so why can’t you? His enthusiasm blows cold quickly, so by the time you have caught up with him, he may have already moved onto the next project.

Sexually, Mars in Aries doesn’t like to plan ahead. He doesn’t need perfect conditions for a seduction- wherever and whenever is more his style. Spontaneous, impulsive, risk taking, physical- the same words keep coming up. With Mars in Aries, sex is a competition contact sport preferably played by two enthusiastic combatants…and he wants to be the best time you ever had.

Whilst he may love the chase, he does not want a submissive or passive partner. He wants someone who gives herself entirely to him- and seriously, how can you not? Mars in Aries can be overwhelmingly irresistible when he is in full battle mode. No matter how gorgeous you are if you do nothing but lie there and look beautiful, he will bore quickly. It is passion rather than romance that he gets off on. What else can I say on this one without getting into the too much information category? Hmmmm, let’s look at some words and phrases I have used earlier: “hot, fast, exciting, directly to the point…”

Mars in Aries starts enthusiastically, but business as usual bores him. How to hold his interest past bin night? Mars in Aries has to have something to chase, something to want. While he will overwhelm you in the chase, he doesn’t want someone who is happy to be owned. This goes back to the point about submission. Even in a longer term relationship with Aries (and yes, he can be house broken and exist in captivity, and makes an excellent life partner and parent) it is best to hold a little bit back, keep your own friends, your own activities and fight for your independence- and don’t try and take his independence from him.

Say “no” every so often- don’t make things too easy for him, don’t make a habit of giving up what you want to do and don’t be afraid to argue with him. Keep the sex fresh, spontaneous and as new as possible. Physically, to keep up with Aries (both in and out of the bedroom), you need to be fit. Work out together, explore together, play together, take risks together, boldly go forward with him. He wants a partner who fits with him, but is still true to herself…if that makes sense…a relationship that is able to keep its’ balance and where both parties have their own balance.

Want to lose an Aries man in less than 10 days? Too easy: nag him, hold him back, push him into a commitment, give into him on everything, make excuses, stop him from taking risks, do stuff slowly (& that is everything from deciding on a menu choice to getting ready to moving). Nor does he like to feel as though he is the quarry and will turn off pretty quickly if you start making too many plans for him too early in the relationship or begin calling him too often. Mars in Aries is energised by energy and to take that away leaves him half alive and unhealthy. Get the idea?

And how do you know if he is bored or tired of you? As I said before, this guy is not into subtlety. Mars in Aries turns off as quickly as he turns on. If his energy isn’t being stimulated by you, he simply won’t be there. It may be that his energy s being directed into work, sport or other activities- Mars in Aries is able to direct energy into specific areas rather than scatter it.

Mars in Aries is bored with talk- he wants the actions to speak for themselves. As such, he can tend to glaze over a little if you want to talk too much about the state of your relationship, the state of your girlfriends’ relationships or where he actually was between the time of 8.30pm and 8.45pm. Nor does he like too much talk about you and will often find a way of switching the conversation back to himself.

Mars in a womans’ chart gives an indication of what qualities she is looking for in a partner. With Mars in Aries she is looking for a real man. She wants someone she go forward with, someone she can battle with, someone she can have make up sex with, someone she can run with, someone who can fix stuff. She doesn’t want anyone who will make her life too easy, she wants someone who will make her feel alive and energetic and physical. She wants someone she can discover stuff with, someone she can go on adventures with. She isn’t that interested in sensitive new age guys, poetry or the fluff and bubble of romance. She won’t be seduced by your etchings, she will, however, be seduced by your muscles…and what you can do with them…

For the person who came into my site the other day with the question “how do you train an Aries man?” my answer is essentially why would you want to? It was those qualities that attracted you in the first place! Having said that, too much Aries energy can be exhausting to be around all the time. Sure he is exciting and energising and frustration to be with, but you can only take so much of that- another reason to keep your own friends.

Don’t try and change him or train him or temper him- that will only end up boring him and yourself more quickly. Instead love all those wonderful qualities that excite you and get your creative, sexual and energetic juices flowing and have an escape route nearby to which you can retreat when all that male energy gets too much. He will only respect you all the more for that.