Following the re-publishing of my synastry piece by Sasstrology the other day, I thought I’d re-publish the companion piece. Here it is…

I was sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream

Like all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain

Before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head

And spring up in my bed screaming out the words I dread

I think I love you

This morning I woke up with this feeling

I didn’t know how to deal with and so I just decided to myself

I’d hide it to myself and never talk about it

And did not go and shout it when you walked into the room

I think I love you

Lyrics from I Think I Love You by the Partridge Family…and Voice of the Beehive

So there you are. Across a crowded room or a meeting table or just after one or two beers too many your eyes meet. And this time it’s Different. Perhaps you’ve been mates for years and then something changes. Perhaps it’s the lightning bolt thing. Perhaps it’s a gradual awakening. Whatever.

Friends of mine said after meeting each other and exchanging a few kisses at a party that each had the same two thoughts:

• “Wow- this really feels like Something Big is happening” and
• “I hope he’s/she’s not a Collingwood Supporter.”

A dislike of that particular football club has turned out to be just one more thing they have in common. It is a Pisces/Sagittarius match and very happy.

Perhaps you have done the same in relation to your least favourite sign- “I hope he isn’t a Virgo/Pisces/Aries/whatever”. But if there is a connection there, isn’t it worth giving it a shot? Even if he is a Virgo/Pisces/Aries/whatever. (Unfortunately, when football allegiances are involved the opportunity for leeway is substantially less ).

So what if he isn’t a sign the textbooks say you will be compatible with? You mightn’t relate from a sun sign viewpoint, but may be extremely compatible on an emotional (Moon) level or a sexual level (Mars). Or, you could be perfect at a Sun sign level and absolutely off the rails in every other way. So check out the whole picture before you go and ruin what could be a really great time.

Anyways, here is the quick guide by the elements.

• Same elements work well eg water works well with water, fire with fire etc. Just remember, there is such a thing as too much compatibility- too much water in the chart is likely to drown the participants who may be too busy doing emotional stuff to move it into the bedroom, likewise too much Air not getting past the talking stage, Fire who will wear each other out (sounds interesting) but still not know each other and Earth who just have to do get the work done first.
• Yin signs go reasonably well with other yin signs and yang with yang. So, Earth is OK with Water (but can be a tad on the muddy side), Fire is OK with Air (albeit a little on the hot air side).
• Water and Earth are not so good with Fire or Air and vice versa. This isn’t to say it’s impossible, just a little challenging in some ways- as is evidence by my Pisces/Sagittarius friends.
• Think about the nature of the elements at play and what that says about each of you. Again, too much compatibility can be boring, and too little just way to hard, but much fun can be had in the process.

Go with the Sun first, and if it develops further, check out the mix on the other personal planets:

The Moon: How well you relate on an emotional level. Same rules apply. What makes you comfortable, safe and nurtured. In a mans’ chart if often indicates what he looks for in a partner. Look also at whether your Sun relates to his Moon and vice versa.

Mercury: How you communicate. Are your thought patterns similar? We’re not talking values here- that is completely different, but rather how you think, how you communicate. Are both of you good with sub-text or is one literal minded? How are you both with non verbal cues or does one need it all explained. As an example, I have a friend who, like me, has Mercury in Pisces in the 12^th. We can have an entire discussion about our deepest feelings and fears without actually saying much at all. We just know.

Venus: How you relate. What makes you feel good. Venus in Aries with Venus in Sag? Sparks will fly. Venus in Taurus and Venus in Libra? Some compromise will be required between social activity and the couch…or combine the two J. In a man’s chart, the Venus characteristics are often what he looks for in a partner.

Mars: Sexual compatibility, energy levels, what turns you on & off. How you fight, sorry, assert yourself. Both Mars in Scorpio? Dirty fights and great make-up sex. In a womans’ chart it often shows what she looks for in a partner. Mars in Aries and Mars in Scorpio? A little competition can be very exciting.

Get the idea?

Taking it one step further, think about signs whose ruling planet is shared eg Mars rules both Aries and Scorpio, Venus rules both Taurus and Libra, Jupiter rules both Pisces and Sagittarius. Even though these combos would normally be in the not so good category, they get points because the nature of the ruler is similar. Although many other astrologers would disagree with me on this one, I have found it to be the case.

So, to illustrate, I will use my own relationship. In the interests of privacy, I won’t make any comment other than what the mix is, but will say that we have been together since 1989. OMG I was soooooooooooooooo young!

Get the idea? Have a go with your own relationships, friendships, working partnerships.

A second hand emotion or something more? Sasstrology, that sassy astro site which talks about all things love, sex and stars, has reprinted one of my Love etc posts- and made it look a damn sight finer than my original. Check out the link here.

I don’t normally do guest posts- even though I know it is absolutely the way to grow profile, readership etc. Very early in my blogging life (in fact before I started this site) I had a nasty experience where one persistent commenter was, well, snarky. And I don’t do snarky well. I should simply have not read them and I would never have known, but…whatever…it was almost enough to stop me before I started.

In truth, in true Piscean style, I am a little scared to face the public. My exalted 5th house Jupiter in Cancer wants to create and publish, but he also wants to hide under his shell and protect himself from hurts… That is before we talk about all the Pluto influence and it’s need for control- and when you guest post, you abdicate all control.

Anyway, Sasstrology.com have reprinted (with my permission of course) my post There’s a Fine Line Between Pleasure & Pain- the one that talks about Venus & Pluto in all of their wondrous power and might. I am thrilled to have it there. Check out the link here. And check out Sasstrology itself- it’s a fun and sassy site that talks all about astrology in sex and relationships. What am I saying checking it out? If you are into astrology, you would already know all about Sasstrology! And they made the post look much better than it looked here. Oh, and if there are any nasty comments? Please don’t tell me- I don’t want to know.

La Ciudad de las Artes y las Ciencas, Valencia, Spain. Pic by Daniel...

The Moon is in Sagittarius, and for those of us here in relocation hell, the mood has definitely lifted.

The Sag Moon is one of renewed optimism and hope…and is more than a little playful. Today this has been particularly the case with spirited Mars in Gemini boosting up a fun loving Mercury in Leo.

So, I guess it is no coincidence that not only did I have my first really effective workout in a week this afternoon, but thanks to the Building Site Manager here, I also learned a few new dance moves for next time I go out to play. Swordfish or Whipper Snipper anyone? Not to mention a few choice phrases that I need to add to my meeting bingo list that are absolute pure gold. Gotta love tradies…

The other thing a Sagittarius Moon is great for is putting out fires- not full on dressed up in orange suits and hoses blazing forest fires, but those spot fires that spring up and could very easily become something a lot more if not extinguished on the spot. In my world, this means things like fixing phones, the latches on toilet doors, dongles for internet access and making sure the engineer has a vacuum cleaner that blows- all stuff that lets everyone else do their job effectively. We still, though, have a mutant door bell that breaks into random song periodically…even though the chime itself is just that, a chime. The girls on the floor put it down to the resident presence.

Elsewhere in the sky, Jupiter is rapidly running out of buddies. He obviously went to sleep on his couch after the footy the other night and all his mates shot through. Mars is still prodding Mercury in the back and encouraging some pretty animated look at me stuff, while Venus in Cancer is chasing down Saturn in Libra for a square-off/showdown/we need to talk about last night. The Venus/Saturn square is one of the few aspects that Venus involves herself in that doesn’t have a self-indulgence theme. This one can be much more difficult than that.

If you have a Venus/Saturn aspect natally, you would most likely take your love affairs and pleasure slowly and seriously- and that in itself is a good thing. Where is becomes problematic is when, especially with the square aspect at play, your fears overcome your desires. In the case of Venus in Cancer, this may be a reticence to pop your head outside the shell and make a move unless guarantees are absolutely present. At the end of the day, this may result in missing out on many of lifes and loves great pleasures…on the other hand, waiting until you do feel secure provides a steadfast and stable sort of security that can deepen commitment- it just takes a little longer to get what you want.

I had a quick lesson on building stuff yesterday in language even I can understand. It went something like: you dig a big hole, throw a heap of grey muddy stuff into it, pop in some steel reinforcement and wait for it to set. Then you pop in a few columns for stability, another slab on top of that and repeat until it gets as high as the amount of grey muddy stuff in the bottom will support it. Then you pretty up the outsides and add a bit of decoration inside to look good. It takes a while, but if it is done properly it will last for ever. This current aspect is much like that, and you may be feeling that frustration and tension if you have planets or chart points at or around 9-12 Cancer, Libra, Capricorn or Aries.

The photo I have used today comes from my BMF who has recently done a very Sagittarian trip to Valencia, which is a very Sagittarian beach party city, to watch loud and expensive cars driven by expensively contracted men living a very Sagittarian tour the world life drive them around a track.  The building in the picture is built sort of like a giant eye, with reflections and shadows intensifying images at different times of the day. Very cool. And very Sag…I can sort of imagine someone coming up with the idea under a flash of Uranian brilliance and convincing everyone else that it really is possible to turn the blue sky vision into reality…possibly even uttering those very Sagittarian words: “I mean seriously, how hard can it be????”

dreamstime.com

A few months ago I posted a piece on the Venus/Pluto conjunction (Did the Earth Move For You?) Today we have the opposite end of the spectrum- Venus opposing Pluto. Given that I am in the middle of an office move at present and in my own little piece of personal hell, I figured that we should all take a little trip to the Underworld and explore this aspect in the birth chart.

With the opposition, all the challenging parts of Venus and Pluto apply. This is obsession, possession, passion and Machiavellian (like that word for early on a Saturday morning?) manipulation at its’ best.  

If you have Venus opposite, square or even inconjunct (150 degrees) Pluto you will know about all of this. Likewise, if you have Venus in Scorpio or, to a lesser degree, Pluto in the 7^th house or Venus in the 8^th. For the record, I have Pluto in the 7^th and Venus and Pluto exactly inconjunct. I admit it- I have control issues and difficulty in detaching or letting go and I do have a weird attraction to power plays…Venus/Pluto absolutely is at play in my relationships.

Venus/Pluto contacts are passionate and intense. They can be controlling, possessive, obsessive and jealous. They can manipulate their partner using love and sex. They can be transformative and they can be dark indeed. They are also brutally honest.

With these more challenging aspects, there may also be a difficulty in controlling desires. You want something or someone so very badly, so intensely, so extremely and so completely that all rational thought can fly north for the winter. It doesn’t matter whether what you want is free to come to you or whether it belongs to someone else…you can’t help craving it. You manipulate and play games until you get what you want- but have you really? Love and power become confused to the extent that your biggest fear may be in letting yourself be equal to another- only self confidence will allow you to completely trust another.

When you are in a relationship, your expectations can be ridiculously high- especially in regards to their honesty, fidelity and loyalty…yours may be a little more questionable. Quite often, your dark side emerges sometime into the partnership (although partnership is not often a word associated with Venus/Pluto). Be careful not to let the power games ruin what is still actually a good thing- the crappy stuff you see and obsess over is more than likely coming from within you, not him.

And when it is over? Regardless of whether it was unrequited lust, a single night of guilt ridden passion or a long term relationship, letting go is something that does not come easily to you- even when you are in pain. In some cases, it is the pain that reminds you that you feel, and the pain which you find yourself coming back for again and again.

I have Venus in Aries inconjunct my 7^th house Pluto and I can obsess and hang on to the fantasy long past its end date and then suddenly wake one morning and it will be gone. If, however, your Venus is in a fixed sign (and especially Scorpio or Taurus) you may constantly be holding onto something that is not longer true or seeking a closure that simply doesn’t come.

You hate with as much passion as you love- Venus/Pluto revenge fantasies are as colourful as their sexual fantasies can be. There is indeed a fine line between pleasure & pain. In fact, your need for intensity can push you into relationships which you know are no good for you. The temptation may be to search for passion in a secret or forbidden way- perhaps with someone who is out of bounds or otherwise attached.

The upside of all of this intensity and passion is the potential for creativity and transformative experiences that comes from Venus/Pluto challenges. You know only too well what pain is like, and appreciate real love and pleasure all the more. When you are able to give yourself over completely, that is when the healing can start.

When Pluto meets up with Venus (Venus transits are normally quicker and therefore have unlikely to have long term impact) by transit, even if you are not by birth a Pluto type, you will be for the term of this transit. You may find yourself yearning after a married man, involved in something with power plays or indulging in something intensely secretive. You may also find it more difficult to control your thoughts, with desires for a person, relationship or whatever never far from your mind. If you already have Pluto/Venus contacts, the impact of this transit will magnify these.

As an example, a few years ago, Pluto (in Sagittarius) was trine my natal Venus. My natal Venus/Pluto aspect was activated, and the trine by transit just made what was happening, happen easier (and by “easier” do not read “pain-free”) …all the barriers were removed.

Don’t just look at your own chart here. Think about that of those you are in relationships with. A Venus/Pluto contact can happen through synastry. It can occur if you are involved with someone who has a Venus/Pluto signature. There may be someone in your life who forces you to see something about yourself that you wanted to keep hidden. There may be someone in your life that transforms you, brings you to life. There could be someone who helps you destroy something which is no longer good. There may be someone who you allow to control you, or manipulate you or possess you. If you look at the charts of these people, it is likely that you will find a Scorpio or Venus/Pluto aspect there…or even an 8^th house contact by synastry. Have a think about it.

Venus/Pluto oppositions in synastry (ie your Venus is opposite his Pluto or vice versa…sounds a tad mucky when put like that…) the attraction can go between love and hate and right back again super fast. The relationship will be definitely volatile, possibly unrequited, but, if sexual in nature, undeniably and addictively intense. This is the sort of passion that will never be forgotten, the affair that you will compare all others to.

In any Venus/Pluto relationship, each partner’s deepest fears, insecurities and fantasies are dragged kicking and screaming out of the closet. In healthy relationships, this is change your life stuff. Where the motivations of one or the other are not so “pure”, passion can very quickly turn to pain and power struggles… and the Pluto person will usually hold the power, with the Venus person the “submissive” partner. This in itself can cause frustrations, jealousy and manipulation- staying together is as much a challenge as letting go.

So when Venus and Pluto hook up by opposition, it is very like that one night stand (the opposition often implies a coming together and pulling apart) or blazing short term affair that changed you in some way. The sex may have been incredibly good or incredibly bad- it doesn’t matter. What is important is the transformative experience- what you learned from it and how it has changed you…because it will have,.. changed you, that is!