The other morning we pulled up at the school gate for our normal drop off.

In the drop zone in front of us was a red ute with mag wheels, dual exhaust and a V8 engine. It was the type of ute that would normally be driven by a young tradesman type guy with good biceps. It was the type of ute that Miss 14 would normally ooh and aah over. Miss 14 has a lot of Aries planets (including the Sun and Mars), so likes a bit of the low rumble of a V8 engine…

This ute, though, was driven by a woman in a business suit with heels.

Miss 14 watched her get back in the car and drive away with a throaty roar before making starting a conversation that reflected most of her chart.

‘How cool is that car Mum?’

‘seriously cool.’

‘I love the noise it makes.’

‘Yep…me too.’

The Sun and Mars in Aries…

‘It’s not normal to see a woman driving one, though… especially not one that dresses like that. She probably should be in a car like all the other mothers drive.’

The conservatism and practicality of her Capricorn Ascendant…

‘But I love how she thinks it’s ok to drive whatever she wants to- despite what other people think.’

The Moon and Venus (conjunct Uranus) in Aquarius

She’s just starting to ask a little about what I do. To her, astrology is just something that Mum does.

Just lately she’s taken a bit more of an interest- I think it’s because some of her friends are interested & while she isn’t a follower, that Aquarius Moon of hers is interested in their interest.

‘Why do you think I have so many Pisces friends?’

‘Because they remind you of me.’

‘Oh, funny one Mum.’

The answer is also that her Aquarius Moon is conjunct (exactly) Neptune, so is more than a little Piscean in many ways. And she has Jupiter in Pisces.

‘What about X? Why does she annoy me?’

She names a Scorpio friend.

‘I like her and all that, but sometimes…’

Miss 14 doesn’t do emotional intensity.

‘Can Scorpio and Aries ever be friends? Or will it be like Dad and I- like we get on, but we also argue and stuff?’

I tell her about 2 male friends- one Aries, one Scorpio- who are best mates. I tell her that in their case, Mr Aries has a Scorpio Moon, and Mr Scorpio has Mars in Aries and the Moon in Leo. I tell her that Scorpio and Aries are both Mars ruled signs- so this gives them a point of common ground. I tell her that it isn’t just about the Sun sign compatibility, that when it comes to relationships you need to go deeper than that.

She tells me that we’re now moving into “whatever” territory.

Let’s talk about sex.

There, I got your attention…right?

Now, let’s talk about money.

Not so interesting, I’m guessing.

The thing is, though, more relationships are cemented and broken on the subject of these two factors than anything else.

Yep. Sex and money.

Money, you might understand, but how can sex be a deal breaker? Sex is fun. Sex belongs in the 5^th house where we fall in love and hook up and shag until we can’t see straight. Right?

Yes…and no.

Sex also belongs in the 8^th house- along with death, taxes, other peoples money and the assets of the relationship. I guess in a way, sex becomes one of those assets.

Eighth house sex, Scorpio sex, is about sex for grown ups, the sex that really means something, the sex that keeps you together, urges you to go forth and populate and the sex that can break you up. Relationship deal-breaker sex.

The fact is, in long term or committed relationships, sex is always an issue that both parties have to address and make decisions on.

It is extremely rare in any long term relationship to find both parties happy with the status quo- one wants more or less than what they’re currently getting.

Failure to address the situation maturely leads to frustrations- depending of course on how important sex is to you personally.

Then there’s the temptation of outside sex- 5^th house sex, the sex you take a risk on, exciting sex.

See what I mean? Sex can be a deal-breaker.

I’m told a lot: “if I could just be in a relationship, all my problems would be over”… the thing is, falling in love is fun, relationship is serious- it’s why Saturn is exalted in Libra.

Don’t get me wrong- relationship is wonderful. It’s enhancing, it’s rewarding, it’s comforting, it’s the stuff life is made of. It’s also bloody hard work- Saturn territory.

Sometimes you make compromises that you don’t want to make, sometimes you accept situations you don’t want to accept, sometimes you do things you don’t want to do. It’s that point in the middle between Aries and Libra. It’s Cancer and Capricorn- the compromises you make may because shared history and shared parenthood may be more important than the issue on the table. It may be because together you are more secure than apart. It may be because the whole is greater than the sum of its two parts.

Then again, sometimes deal-breakers come into play…we all have them. The hard part is maturely assessing the situation and making a balanced decision to stay or to go.

This is where Saturn comes into it.

Our relationships go through a Saturn cycle too.

After having prepared our roots in the 4^th, got our act together communication wise in the 3^rd, known what was important to us in the 2^nd (and, more importantly what our self worth is), and how we need to grow up in the 1^st, we fall in love in the 5^th house.

It doesn’t stop at the falling in love stage- although that’s where the romance novels end. No one is interested in the boring bits that come next.

Sixth house, business as usual. This is where the newness has started to wear off and you’re getting to know the ordinary stuff. How each of you spend your days, your work routines.

You might start to leave things at each others houses, little stuff at first- a toothbrush, spare undies. Then you might do other ordinary things- stay in instead of going out, a t shirt in bed instead of something more sexy. Things get comfortable.

You’re ready for commitment. The two are now one. You are in the 7^th house. There is a fresh burst of energy. There might be a wedding or a moving in together. You’re a partnership. You’ve grown up and accepted the maturity of relationship. Now you can live happily ever after…right?

And then, just when everything looks perfect, along comes a new challenge. The 8^th house. Scorpio stuff. The merging of assets, the relationship budgets, sexually transmitted debt.

You no longer have your problems, you have his too. It’s no longer just your work that you worry about, it’s his too. It’s no longer just your family to drive you mad, there’s his too. There’s juggling of time together, commitments made, who’s turn it is to spend the holidays with their family.

This is why Venus is in detriment in Scorpio- Venus likes to feel good…and falling in love feels great- it’s why we all do it. The real emotional reality is different. More emotional maturity is required for this stage of the game than what has come before.

More than what caused you to hook up, more than what got you through when the newness dulled, more than what made you stand in front of someone (or each other) and make a commitment to each other. More than all of that. And, if you want the relationship to survive, there is no shortcut, no skipping of this step.

Scorpio territory is deep emotional territory, and that requires deep, emotional maturity.

And now Saturn is in Scorpio.

Look at where Scorpio is in your chart- this is where you need to bring emotional maturity. This is where you are now asked to get real.

As with all things Saturn, there is no point looking for a shortcut, skipping a step, shirking on the work. It might be painful, but all things worthwhile are.

For me the first half of this transit will be 8^th house stuff. Saturn has been here for a while now- us Pisceans take a while to get a message. Interestingly, I think I’m finally understanding what that message is- at least for me. Saturns’ transit of Virgo, the 7th house and Libra and the 8th house has not been an easy one. I physically felt the weight lift when Saturn moved out of the 7th into the 8th, but the focus on relationship has still been tough- for a lot of reasons.

Look also at what Saturn means in your chart- where is he? What houses does he rule? These will now have an added emotional intensity and focus. Saturn is no longer interested in the concept of relationship- he is now passionately concerned with the life and death reality of it.

Want more on Saturn in Scorpio?

Check out:

Better the Devil You Know

Climb Every Mountain

Saturn in Scorpio- the missing piece

Saturn in Scorpio- the technical details

Keira Knightley as Guinevere

I have Venus in Aries, so this post every year is always one that I love writing- partly because of that Aries energy and partly because it means that my Venus Return (and at least one reasonably decent hair day) is just around the corner.

Venus doesn’t particularly like being in Aries. Venus is all about the things that make us feel good and Aries is just so… obvious, direct, wilful & challenging- not at all what Venus is supposed to be like.

Venus is the ruler of Taurus and Libra, so is much more at home draped nonchalantly across a chaise longue sipping champagne, receiving a manicure (with her free hand, of course) and being fed chocolates by a rather gorgeously buffed footballer rather than charging off to battle (or is that my fantasy?). She has loved the last few weeks in Pisces, where she can be super sensitive, indulge in total romantic fantasy and be just a tad non- discriminating in the love stakes (what did you say your name was again?). But all good things come to an end.

Aries, on the other hand is ruled by Mars, the God of War. Venus in Aries has to dust off the romance and becomes pure huntress to grab what she wants.  And if she doesn’t get it? Think of toddlers in shopping aisles across the country.

In Pisces Venus is able to get what she wants in a Pisces way- often through the manipulation of others, sometimes through playing the victim. In Pisces she can be the damsel in distress. In Pisces, Venus is ultra feminine.

In Aries, if she wants something she just straps on her boots, her red bra (any self respecting woman with Venus in Aries should have at least 1 red accessory…although given that I have Venus in Aries, is that a little too much information?) and her attitude and marches right on in to get it…for herself. In Aries she can look after herself. In Aries she likes a challenge- whether that be a physical challenge or the type of challenge that has my nearly 14 year old Aries Miss working out just how she can beat her Scorpio father in whatever their latest battle of wills happens to be.

Venus in Aries is very much “me first” and is a lot more selfish in what she wants and when she wants it- and that is absolutely OK. How to make her want something more? Withhold it, make her work for it, keep it just a little bit out of reach, delay her gratification. How to piss her off? Do the same.

She also knows who she wants…for a time. If you have Venus in Aries you love quickly, impulsively, competitively & independently. If you have ever woken in the middle of the night with the sudden urge to sing a Partridge Family song, odds are you have Venus in Aries.

On the other hand, Venus in Aries knows just as clearly what she doesn’t want. And she will stamp those feet of hers until you listen/it gets taken away/her attention is diverted. And diversion is actually the best tactic to use. In fact, when dealing with Venus in Aries/ Aries woman in a tantrum, just think about how you would deal with your 3 year old- the two can be very similar.

The Aries Venus woman is drawn to a Mars type man. Whilst she can look after herself perfectly well, she doesn’t want a man who needs looking after. She wants a hero. She wants someone she can battle with & have great make up sex with later, someone who knows what he wants, someone who doesn’t make it too easy for her. Even if (like me) her Sun is in Pisces, she needs a real man- a Superman to sweep her off her feet.

What does this mean? He might have his Sun, Moon, Venus or Mars in Aries, a packed 1^st house or maybe Sun conjunct Mars. And trust me, if he has even a combination of these factors, he will sweep you off your feet! And, like the song says, you will feel his approach like a fire in your blood. Oh, be still my beating heart…

The man with Venus in Aries is most likely going to be attracted to a partner with Arian qualities- someone who is a little impulsive, perhaps headstrong and absolutely independently minded. She will be someone who can look after herself. She will be his hero…and probably have at least 1 set of red lingerie.

Sound like you? If you have Venus in Aries, are a woman with the Sun in Aries, Venus in the 1^st house and even Venus conjunct Mars- actually probably Venus square or opposite to Mars would also do the trick.

And the song? Holding Out For a Hero of course! Naturally the Bonnie Tyler version- the lyrics still give me goosebumps- even with the cheesy 80s fluoro whips, cap guns and faked dramatics…

Photo Credit: wragg for istock

My new employer is a right bitch to work with (hence the title).

She’s demanding, controlling and between you and me, has some serious iss-ues. And you should see the KPIs (Key performance Indicators) and objectives that she has set me- performance review time will be interesting and should see me arguing for a space at the pointy end of the bell curve.

At least she has put me on notice well in advance that bonuses (in the form of travel and Italian shoes) will not be paid unless certain targets are exceeded. Given that those targets include finishing the manuscript that time forgot and pitching ideas for feature articles to editors who have never heard of me as well as all the health and fitness related goals listed in the extensive SLA (Service Level Agreement) I have signed off on, I will be a busy girl.

She has also asked me to start doing astrology readings again. So, I am…doing readings again, that is. Oh, I forgot to mention…that bitch of a boss? It’s me .

What can you expect from an astrology reading?

It is probably best to start with what you shouldn’t expect:

• I don’t do your “numbers”
• I don’t do tarot cards
• I don’t do palm reading
• I can’t talk to your dead uncle
• I have no idea who your guides are

There are some brilliant people in the market who do that sort of thing. If you are in Australia, a starting point for these services might be:

• Spellbox in Melbourne (my absolute favourite place)
• New Moon in Sydney, in the Hills district
• The Reading Room in Brisbane

Also, I won’t tell you things like “on the 18^th of April you will be lunching in a Greek Taverna in Santorini and meet a tall, dark & handsome stranger with whom you will fall madly in love and live happily ever after.”

What an astrology reading can do is help you understand yourself better- and that is a huge advantage in dealing with all of the crap that life throws at us from every angle.

Unfortunately most clients wait until they are in the middle of a crisis before reaching out for a consult. Knowing more about yourself won’t avoid that crisis, but it may assist you in your responses and understanding of it. Likewise, I won’t tell you what to do (I may suggest things that you shouldn’t do), but I will provide you with the tools to help you make those decisions for yourself.

In a general birth chart reading (for first time clients) we look at:

• the potentials and challenges presented in your birth-chart
• what makes you feel safe, secure and nurtured
• how you communicate, deal with change and manage stress
• how you love
• how you work
• where your talents lie
• what turns you on and off or scares you silly
• potential health issues

Essentially, astrology helps you make sense of life- it doesn’t give you something to blame and it doesn’t provide you with excuses, but it can and does help you see all the possibilities available to you. It is up to you and your free will to do the rest and make what you will of that potential and work with the challenges…or not.

I have a real passion for workplace and career astrology, and a birth chart reading helps you manage relationships at work, your stress levels, decision-making and helps you choose the job that is right for you.

We also look at the themes that will be coming through for you over the next 12 months and talk about what that might mean.

A general birth chart reading will last for 60 minutes. Feel free to let me know when you book if there is any particular areas of concern which you would like to talk about in more detail. Bring an open mind to the session.

Also available are year ahead readings. These are shorter sessions for repeat clients focusing purely on what themes are coming up over the next 12 months.

You may be interested in a relationship reading. These are also usually around 60 minutes, however focus purely on the relationship needs of each person in the relationship, and any potential points of joy or challenge. These sessions are more expensive as the pre-work is substantially greater.

Other stuff?

I also do horary chart readings. This is a traditional technique for single questions that can be scarily accurate. Responses are 500 words back to your email. Please please please don’t ask the question unless you want to hear the answer.

Types of questions? Anything really, but most common are:

• Will I get the job?
• Should I take the job?
• Should I stay (in this job, relationship, whatever)
• Does he love me?
• Should I buy the house?

Similar to horary is electional or pick a date charts. Ideal for deciding when to book that wedding, start that business, make that move. Again, responses are 500 words back to your email. Remember, no date or moment is absolutely perfect, but we can choose the best from what is available. This process involves me looking at your chart/s, the nature and objectives of the event and then choosing the most appropriate time from that information.

What do I need from you?

When you book your reading, I will need you to send me through your time, date and place of birth. The time of birth can make a huge difference in how and when certain events may occur, so as accurate as possible please.

The cost?

I am a professional, like any other practitioner, so charge by the hour. Please please please don’t ask me for a freebie, to me it is the same as your boss asking you to work for nothing or your hairdresser not charging you.

Expect to pay $100 for a 60 minute birth chart reading and $150 for a relationship session.

Given that I am just starting back, all birth chart readings booked during February 2012 will be just $80.

Horary questions are $100

Pick a Date charts can be complicated and time thieves, so please email me for a quote.

How to book?

Just send me an email. I am available Monday- Saturday for readings via the phone (in Australia) and skype (for overseas clients). For clients in Australia, appointments are available 9-5 Monday to Friday and 10-4 on a Saturday. For clients overseas, we will find a time that suits us both.

How to pay?

I take paypal (to jotracey@bigpond.net.au) or direct deposit to my bank account. For overseas clients, paypal only is accepted.

Seven Year Itch

I’m a triple Pisces, so it is part of my job description to feel sorry for, well, pretty well anyone. This week I felt sorry for Seal and Heidi Klum- not because they are famous, rich and gorgeous, but because this week they announced their separation after nearly 7 years of marriage.

That 7 years is a pretty important number- how often do we hear about the 7 year itch? Not just in terms of relationships- at the 7 year mark you may find enthusiasm for a job, a house, a project also waning. Those things that once seemed so exciting and compelling are now business as usual.

In relationships, those qualities which provided challenge and excitement have now become just plain annoying. Compatibilities become boring and arguments routine rather than an excuse for make up sex. Been there? Every relationship which has gone the distance has been there. Sometimes you get through it- find a way to keep going. Sometimes, though, it all seems way too hard and you call it a day…and it may well be that decision was the right one for that relationship.

In other celebrity news, French singer & actor, Vanessa Paradis is denying a split from her partner of 14 years, Johnny Depp. Two things about this:

1. I am engaging in (shock, horror) celebrity gossip when I so don’t give a faff about who is doing what to whom or with whom. I am seriously (and I do mean seriously) not interested in famous people. Let them earn what they earn, do what they do…I don’t need to know…except for when I am at the hairdressers and just can’t avoid it…
2. 14 years…alarm bells?

The elephant in the room here is, of course, the Saturn cycle.

Saturn takes 28 years to go around the chart. That means at year 7 he will form a square, at year 14 an opposition and at year 21 another square before coming back to his starting position (the Saturn return) at or around year 28.

We all know that the first Saturn return is hugely important- it is this time that we start to think about settling down, growing up, getting serious. At the 2^nd Saturn return (mid-late 50s) we are entering a new phase- retirement. At this point we can choose to “retire” or we can choose to retire from one phase of life and jump holdus boldus into another. Will we be the type that rings Alan Jones or another of the right wing “shock jocks” (please don’t write to me) and complain about the youth of today or petrol prices or how much simpler life was before we had the internet and choice or will we be the cool older person that wants to keep learning and keep experiencing and keep achieving?

Think about what goes before. When we are around 7 we hit our first challenges square on. We are separated from Mum and at school and introduced to things like consequences and structures and rules. At 14 (or thereabouts) we hit puberty and have a whole new set of confronting boundaries. Then at 21 we are finishing University, venturing out into the workplace and having to put our money where our mouth is. New rules, new boundaries, new responsibilities, a whole new set of what is appropriate to learn.

Relationships follow the same Saturn cycle. They also follow a Venus cycle and a Mars cycle. Don’t believe me? Is there any coincidence why the rose coloured glasses seem to come off at around the anniversary mark and the lust seems to have settled down at the 2 ½ year mark? I’m not saying that it goes away, just that things become more comfortable. The drive, the intensity, the needing to absolutely consume that person becomes more accepted. This is why many relationships don’t last past the Venus cycle (there needs to be more than la vie en rose) or the Mars cycle (the nature of the relationship will change). If they do, they move into the realm of commitment- they move into Saturn.

Anyways, back to Saturn. Relationships follow the Saturn cycle. Marriages follow the Saturn cycle. And Saturn is seriously about time…and responsibilities and maturity…but above all, time.

At or around the first Saturn square, 7 years, often comes the 1^st set of tests. This is the waxing square. Like the Moon cycle, things are opening up. You reach a fork in the road. Unless you are married to a Scorpio (I have to say that in case my Scorpio husband reads this), everyday life is business as usual. You may question what you are doing, you may look at single friends with some envy at their freedom (just don’t complain to them, because they may be wanting what you are now taking for granted).

One (or both) of you may start to look at the other side of the fence- that grass definitely looks greener. You may begin to question the commitment, the attraction, and the potential longevity of the relationship. You may wonder whether you have made a mistake. You may, often as a result, be attracted to another.

This is a test. Saturn likes tests.

You have come to a fork in the road. You examine the relationship. If it is truly worth continuing, it will pass the examination and you will move into a more stable and comfortable phase. If not, it will end. Maybe not now, but those seeds will have been sown. Whatever there was between you will have served its’ time.

At the 14 year mark we encounter the opposition. By this stage there is a lot of water under the bridge- in fact, the river is like the Amazon in severe flood and the bridge is rickety with missing planks and handholds that fall away- like the one in Romancing the Stone where Kathleen Turner just grabbed a hand hold and swung across the expanse, leaving Michael Douglas no option than to do the same.

At this point, the opposition point, if the stuff that wasn’t right wasn’t dealt with 7 years ago, you will need to deal with them (or finish them) now. You will need to decide whether to follow each other over the swollen river or shake hands at the edge, admit that it is all too hard and too wrong and too hopeless and part company.

There will be signals- a lot of them. Like knives twisting in the same wound in your back, like an undeniable attraction to an off limits colleague, like all the little pieces of dissatisfaction that you then choose to project onto your completely blameless and totally loyal partner. The signs will be there. They will be pulling you together and dragging you apart.

Lets say you get through this. You grit your teeth, you hold your breath and you grab your partners’ hand and sail out into the great unknown. You cross the bridge together. You may choose to stay together for the sake of the kids, for the money, the retirement fund or because other religious or cultural or familial reasons say that you should.

By the time you get to your 21^st anniversary the waning square will give you another pop quiz. The same challenges that you faced 14 years ago will again be under examination. Is it time? Has the relationship done its’ time? Its’ like that old (very politically incorrect) joke about the married couple who on their 21^st anniversary she finds him crying in the kitchen. She assumes he is fondly remembering their wedding day when in fact he is recalling that if he had used the shotgun, today would have been the day he was freed.

How many relationships do you hear of breaking up at this point? The kids are grown and there is no longer any really good reason to stay together? Except if you really truly want to be together.

By the time the relationship enters its’ Saturn return, it will have weathered much- job changes, residence changes, temptations. This brings its’ own crisis. Is this relationship really authentic to you? Is this person really the one you want to be looking at over the breakfast table when you’re older? Is this person really the one who should be getting your first smile of the morning, who is the last thing you think of before you go to bed at night and the first you think of in the morning? Is this person still the one?

Back in the days when marriage was first invented, nature helped us with these decisions- childbirth and early death saved many people from having to make choices that we are now presented with.  Now, we need to make our own choices- Saturn insists on it.

Unfortunately though, when you are a celebrity, these choices are made in the public arena- and I will always have sympathy for anyone whose love life becomes a matter of such public interest.

After watching an episode of Modern Family tonight, TTM asked us what “our song” is. It is the title of this post- we both agreed on that. For the record- 23 years together (18 years of marriage) this year…but who’s counting? That’s what Saturn cycles are for.