Despite being located in Indonesia, the official religion in Bali is Hinduism- but a different sort of Hinduism to what is practised in India. I won’t get into details here (mainly because I’ll probably get them wrong!), but is has to do with what the Balinese worship in addition to Brahma, Shiva and Vishnu. They also worship (with thanks and credit to Lonely Planet) ancestral gods, village founders, gods of the earth, fire, mountains and water; gods of fertility, rice, technology and books; and the demons who live in the world beneath the oceans.

Being Hindu, the cow is revered in Bali. On my last trip to Bali I asked our driver why this was so. He explained that the cow is the mother- it is the source of milk for babies and the giver of life. He said the cow was identified with the mother of gods.

The concept of mother is seen also in Gunung Agung- Bali’s highest mountain (and volcano) and the temple Pura Besakih 1000m up the mountain. The mountain is said to be the “mother” and the temple the “mother temple”. In any case, it is the spiritual centre of Bali, with the peak thought to house ancestral spirits. The mountain harnesses the rain from the west to provide nourishment for crops.

As for the volcano herself? She is usually shrouded in clouds and rarely seen. This too is about “mother”- you know she’s there, her presence is comforting, sometimes (as in the case of an eruption) fearful, and sometimes a great big guilt block in the road of the stuff you want to do, but do you ever really “see” her? Do you ever really know what’s going on inside of her?

With this many references to “mother” and “ancestry”, I can only be talking about the Cancer Moon. Specifically, the Full Moon in Cancer- which is what we will have Friday evening (Sydney time) at 9.21pm.

The Full Moon in Cancer casts the spotlight very clearly on the struggle between the competing themes of Cancer (home, family, food, sensitivity, nurturing, history) with Capricorn (work, goals, achievement, authority, experience, respect).

As with all signs, Cancer has more in common with her opposite Capricorn than you might think. Cancer is not always the shy, mothering type. There are not always apple pies on the table and a warm hug. Cancer can also be one tough mother, so to speak, with the whole concept of “you’ll thank me for this one day” or “I’m doing this for your own good.” And, sometimes, tough love is what is required.

Cancer has the same ability as Capricorn to dig deep in times of hardship and provide nourishment and security for her family (think metaphorically here…). Despite the pain of her lessons, Cancer provides support and structure within which we can grow and then leave to function independently.

Cancer can be as ruthlessly ambitious and no nonsense as Capricorn- it is just that the motivation may be different. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with this either.

Capricorn, on the other hand, runs into her shadow when she loses track of goals and wallows in a mire of “what could have been” or “poor me.” Capricorn can fear success in the same way that Cancer fears emotional vulnerability.

Both the sunshine and the shadow become important at the Full Moon. For every achievement there must be something sacrificed. In the case of Cancer/Capricorn, what have you sacrificed in terms of home, family, emotional ties, whatever in order to achieve, progress, attain your goals? What is the cost of your hard work? What are the rewards? Are they worth it? What has been the impact to your emotional health?

Think about the premise in the movie I Don’t Know How She Does It. (As an aside, I preferred the book, but regardless of this, still enjoyed the movie…). The character of Kate represents this dichotomy beautifully. She is a mother. She is also ambitious. She has the same protective instincts towards her job as she does towards her children. Every day is a question of balance. Investment in one area means payback in the other. Sacrifices in one, bring rewards in the other.  It is a constant and exhausting see-saw. Outwardly she has it all together, but at what cost? At what point does it all fall apart?

Look at your own chart- where does 7 Cancer/Capricorn fall? This is the area of life under the spotlight for you. Do you have any planets or chart points between, say, 5-9 Cancer, Capricorn, Aries, Libra? These points will be especially sensitive.

Pluto aligns with the Sun, so an element of emotional de-toxing will be required. Think seriously about any habits that need purging, any people that are no longer helping you and any ego attachments that need to be eliminated…and do it.

Uranus is at the apex of a T square, so whatever happens now, whatever decisions you make, ensure that authenticity is at the heart of them. You must be true to yourself.

In any Tsquare, we look for the point of release- a planet that is in easy aspect to one of the 3 points. In this case, that planet is Saturn. You will be well served to make the changes required under stable structures, and with measured, focused intent.

What about you? Where is this playing out in your life?

What needs to be nurtured more? Do you need to step back from work a little and re-connect with your family? Do you need to stop using your family or your past as an excuse for not achieving in the present? How vulnerable are you prepared to make yourself? Do you fear success in this area and are tempted to crawl back into your shell and wallow in self pity and seethe with resentments or do you have someone in your life with enough tough love to kick you up the butt and push you out of your nest/ off the couch/ away from your comfort zone? Is it possible to find balance? Can you really have it all? How many question marks can go into this post?

So, I’ve spent the weekend in Wellington, New Zealand.

I deliberately turned off global roaming on my phone, so apologies for the radio silence.

I was there for a special friends special birthday. Now, this friend is a Scorpio Sun, Capricorn Moon and, apart from being one of my besties, is without a doubt the most effective Project Manager I have ever worked with. Evidence of those skills came out loud and clear in the running order for this weekend.

In true secretive Scorpio mode she managed to keep all arrangements, venues, details and costumes a complete surprise- something that drove my Scorpio Sun, Gemini Moon husband absolutely batty, but appealed to my Piscean sense of wonder.

And wondrous it was.

The venue was in a remote part of the west coast of Wellington. The views were intense and the facilities amazing. It’s called Boomrock, in case you’re interested.

Anyways, the point of this is planning.

Mars has now moved into Capricorn- where he is exalted.

For those who don’t know, when a planet is exalted in a particular sign, it’s as though they are a very special guest- made to feel extra good.

Mars in Capricorn is highly effective, and motivated by respect, structure, experience and a measured ambition. Surprisingly I can’t find where I’ve written a blog before on this one, so will have to rectify that in the next couple of days. Mars in Capricorn is a little like having Mars conjunct Saturn- the effort is disciplined, measured and seriously effective.

Anyways, with Mars in Saturn ruled Capricorn and Saturn in Mars ruled Scorpio, the two malefics are said to be in mutual reception- able to help each other out.

Further, Saturn at 5 Scorpio is said to be in the “terms” and “face” of Mars- in other words, has a definite Martian feel about how he goes about setting up his structures.

Between the two of them, this period between now and Christmas is one where goals can be achieved- if you are prepared to focus your effort, and go at it head down and bum up. Mars in Sagittarius was a big dreamer- now those dreams can be cemented into practical foundations for success.

Yes, even if Mercury is still retrograde.

For now, do your “re” things and plan out your next move. The time for definite action will be when Mercury turns direct.

From my viewpoint, I’ve been motoring away at my nanowrimo manuscript. I’m now dead on target at 31000 words, but have definitely been flying by the seat of my pants, with no idea of how the story is developing- although, given that I’m experimenting by writing it backwards… In any case, I’m thinking that a little structure might now be warranted.

watching some weather looking out across to the South Island

The other day I wrote about cutting the crap, getting rid of the things that weight you down.

It was all part of the Pluto direct thing.

Today, as the Moon is in Capricorn and moving towards her monthly exchange of business cards with Pluto, I’ve decided that one of the things that’s weighing me down is goals.

There. I said it.

I’m letting go of them. I’m setting them free to go and sit on someone elses shoulder.

It’s all part of my quest to become more mindful and more focused.

But surely goals keep you focused?

In theory, yes, but I’m using them as a reason to beat myself up, and I no longer need that.

So, in true Uranus square mode, I’m doing something a little unexpected. I’m throwing goals out the window.

That’s not to say that I won’t let them back in at some point, just that for now I don’t think they are doing me any favours.

Having a goal tends to scatter my attention across all the things that I should be doing to achieve that goal.

It seems a little weird that I make this decision when the Moon is in Capricorn. Capricorn needs to have a goal. Emotionally, it makes her feel safe and secure when there is something to strive for. It’s a Saturn thing.

Instead of feeling secure, I’m feeling out of control- and all the Pluto in my chart doesn’t feel good with that.

There is other stuff I need to let go of. I know that. I have some pretty toxic crap buried deep that must be decomposing nicely by now. I’m also, for reasons you don’t need to know about, clinging to a version of myself that is past its use by date. Instead of being all that I can be though, I continue to hide behind a perceived failure of goals that aren’t met. I wrote a bit about that here.

So I’m cutting out the middle man.

Instead, I’ll focus mindfully on just one habit a week. Something realistic, something I can be fully aware of.

It seems to me to be the emotionally mature thing to do. To me, it’s getting real. And isn’t that what the Capricorn Moon is all about?

I have no idea where credit belongs to for this- but whoever you are, thankyou!

If you’re in the Northern Hemisphere (and my stats tell me that most of you are), you’ll be waking up to a Monday dominated by Capricorn.

The Moon will be in Capricorn in just a few minutes time. Given that Venus and Saturn have been exchanging pleasantries and business cards, this makes Monday a very good day to Get Things Done. Business things. Practical things. Things that need to be planned and goaled to within an inch of their existence. Things that need structures, rules and strategy to work. Things that aren’t helped by the distractions that usually mean things don’t get done.

There’s another aspect that’s coming up that will reinforce the Capricorn-ness of the Capricorn Moon and the Pluto-ness of the monthly Moon-Pluto conjunction…and that’s an inconjunct between Pluto and the Sun.

What’s that, I hear you ask? An inconjunct? I don’t talk about these a lot, but after experimenting somewhat with my own chart of late, I have new respect for this “minor” aspect (when two planets are 150 degrees- 5 signs- apart) that has the potential to cause some major disruption.

An Astro pal, Marc from Sydney Astrology School, likens the inconjunct (or quincunx- try saying that 3 times whilst under the influence!) to one of those plunger things or electric eels that plumbers use to clear blocked drains and pipes. It’s a separation, a letting go, a release- whether you are ready or not. Given that most of us are generally a tad unwilling to accept change when it comes our way, we usually are not ready for the clearance. But there it is.

This doesn’t mean that the release has to be stressful or unwelcome- how much of a relief is it when that manky drain is finally cleared? It just means that we may not consider ourselves ready for it.

As Saffy said to Edina in last weeks Absolutely Fabulous Olympic Special, “Mum, there are so many doors opening and you can only see the ones that are closed…” or something to that effect. You get the idea.

seriously…could I possibly resist?

The Moon often acts as a trigger, and I daresay that is exactly what will happen when La Luna hits 7ish degrees of Capricorn. Trigger that inconjunct, trigger the continuing square between Pluto and Uranus. Keep an eye out if you have planets or chart points at 7 degrees of the cardinal signs.

I was saying on the Facebook page this morning just how much trouble I have each month with the Capricorn Moon. Some other readers waded in with their views and the Moons that make their lives difficult.

With most planets in my chart aspecting the Moon natally, I guess I am fairly attuned to all things lunar- and the Moon is absolutely not comfortable within the dry environment of Saturn ruled Capricorn. Also, I’m not comfortable with Saturn- it isn’t an energy that is integrated well into my chart.

As a result, for these couple of days each month I find myself almost melancholic, definitely down and more inclined to see that glass as half empty rather than half full. And, given that I’m in head cold hell again, the danger is that I’ll stop looking for those little fist pump moments.

So this month I’m fighting back. No black (even though it is slimming), red lipstick, and determinedly uplifting music while I’m working. I’m gonna kick that grey mood back where it belongs.

What about you? Do you have a particular Moon phase that you feel really down during? What about one that you feel great for those few days each month?

symbalon card

I’ve been thinking a lot about Failure lately- amongst other F words like Fear, Faffing and WTF.

Yesterday I read a story on Salon where the author spoke candidly about her first novel, her hopes, her dreams and its failure to get published. Then she talked about her second.

Then at the gym I was listening to a podcast with John Frost, a theatre producer who was quite open with the shows host, Jon Faine, about just how much he (and his investors) lost when his newest show An Officer and a Gentleman had to close early. He openly talked of his failure- on this occasion.

Then today I read a post by an Astro pal, Marc Laurenson of Sydney Astrology School, who wrote of the square between the 2^nd and 5^th house planets.

He wrote:

Do what you LOVE, the money will follow……

This is a major dilemma with my clients who have planets in the 2nd and 5th houses, particularly when they are sqaure. They need to betray their creativity, passions and joys as they believe it won’t pay the bills, settling for drudgery to remain secure.

The gift behind the relationship with 2nd and 5th house planets is to challenge this notion….. ulitise your joy.

I have Venus (in Aries) in the 2^nd and Jupiter (in Cancer) in the 5^th. The two planets represent the major square in my chart, ok, the only square between planets in my chart. It’s important for that tension. It’s also important because Jupiter rules my career zone, and my 1^st house (as the traditional ruler of Pisces).

I have been struggling with the whole concept of do what I love (write, create) or do what makes me money (betray my creativity and follow the corporate path). Marcs’ post today was a timely reminder that the two (passion and success) are not mutually exclusive. But, and it’s a very big but, they will remain so for as long as I continue to treat them as such…

I’ve spoken before about how the 5^th house represents everything we have fun with, take risks on and give birth to. With Cancer on the cusp, this essentially means that my babies (in this case my books, my creations) are given birth to, nurtured and grown. Then, like a Mum on the eve of Schoolies week, I start worrying about what could possibly happen to my baby out there in the big bad glittery gold coast- with all of those other schoolies.

Yet, to live up to their potential, we have to trust that the upbringing we gave our willful teenagers is enough, that their boundaries and structures are such that they can look after themselves. We have to let them leave home.

The breakthrough for me was when I entered Australia from Bali the other month I wrote on my customs declaration “writer”, instead of “project manager”. It felt good. I’m sure there are more break whatevers on the horizon.

Tomorrow mornings (4.53am Sydney time) Capricorn Full Moon brings ambitions and career success firmly under the spotlight.

This Full Moon is always about the axis between work and home. What has to give at home for career ambitions to be realized? What balance do you have between the public you and the private you? Have you put the same effort into both parts of your life, or does one eclipse the other? Speaking of which, have you put in the hard work in the areas that require that? How have you been prioritizing? Have you been serious about your vocation and what you want to achieve?

This Full Moon, at 12 Capricorn 13’ activates the ongoing Uranus/Pluto square, bringing it into a personal sphere. Breakthroughs, breakouts, breakdowns. Where is it happening for you?

For me this is a 10^th/4^th house thing, but the Moon itself makes no close aspect to any planet in my chart. What about you?