Full Moon 5 Scorpio 46’, Friday April 26, 2013 5.57am (Sydney time)

The Full Moon is like a high beam. The Full Moon in Scorpio has a nasty habit of exposing secrets and fears. But this isn’t just any normal Full Moon, this is a Lunar eclipse, so extra mega emotionally charged.

With the Sun in the opposite sign Taurus, control and trust issues also come to the surface. Taurus is about retention and Scorpio elimination. Are you holding onto something that you no longer need? Maybe there is some truth lurking just beyond plain sight- something you know is there but simply don’t want to face. Under the Scorpio Full Moon it is time to find it, deal with it, get rid of it, move on. If only it were that easy…

Scorpio is that shadowy place where we pack away all of our deepest fears and our deepest desires. It is everything we repress, keep a lid on, hide away, yearn for. Scorpio is pleasure and it is pain, with a very fine line between the two. It is where we torture ourselves waiting for phone calls that we know won’t come, it’s where we feel the exquisite pain of the forbidden. Scorpio is where we go below the surface to find meaning, solutions, complete healing and transformation.

Scorpio is also about power and facing those fears in order to get to your talents and achieve those desires. And there is nothing that has more power over you than fear.  Fear provides you with the completely mistaken idea that you are in control. So, you stay safe, you say no, you build boundaries around yourself- to stop people getting in and to stop yourself from getting out. And all the while you fool yourself that in doing so you have control. Until you don’t.

I think it was Eric Francis (of Planet Waves) who wrote that most people who are scared are actually horny but don’t know what to do about it. I would also add that they are hungry. Ravenously hungry. Hungry for desire, hungry for passion, hungry for power, hungry for control, hungry for revenge. The type of hunger that keeps you awake at night, gnawing at your insides.

This is an appetite that you do one of two things with.

You are scared, so bury the feelings down deep. You dig a big hole in the middle of your soul, throw in the stuff that scares the crap out of you, the things that you desire so much that you can’t bear it, or risk it. You cover the hole with about 6 tons of soil and secure it with a big, heavy wrought iron lid…and a key…with a lock that has a password or a combination…on time delay. Then you sit back sit back and try not to think about what you have missed out on. Let the discontent fester as you feed it from the fridge or the wine cellar- feeding all the gaps that are left when you locked your desires away. Create a few excuses- a few logical reasons why you haven’t fulfilled your potential, grabbed those opportunities, told that one person how you really feel about them.

The thing is, the hunger hasn’t gone away. You still want what (or who) you want, but now you lie awake replaying missed opportunities, the things that you should have said, the things you should have done- if only you weren’t so scared.

The other thing about burying this stuff like a great toxic waste dump, is that sooner or later it will get dug back up, or uncovered- and Scorpio Full Moon is a prime time for that to happen. The problem is, when it does finally come to the surface, it’s all decayed and manky, and even more scary and unpleasant than when it first went underground. Sometimes it’s best just to rip that particular bandaid off.

Alternatively, you can strip Fear of the power you have given her and use it to fuel your courage to do the things that fear has stopped you from doing in the past. Reclaim that power for yourself. Eliminate those beliefs, behaviours and people that are doing you no good. Let them go- sure you may miss them, but not for long. Look deep into yourself and see the truth- you can handle it.  Then get out there and do it- all of it. Seriously, how hard can it be?

Scorpio demands truth and honesty and will usually dig deeply to get at it. Only through emotional detoxing and the symbolic opening of the closet door can you fully confront your unexpressed desires and the fears that you locked away with them and embrace whatever is to come.

It may be that you know what you want, but are too attached to habits, routines, people, excuses, the couch to do anything about it. The presence of Mars (the traditional ruler of this Full Moon) conjunct the Sun and Saturn (the planet that insists that we face reality) beside the Moon, this may very well be a time where you can take the actions you need. This may be the time where, if you really want to, you can put your money where your mouth is.

Given that Saturn is retrograde, it’s highly likely that these issues have come up for you before. The presence of all of this happening in fixed signs means that letting go of old patterns may be more difficult than usual. On the flip side, if you do so, the potential is for major transformation.

For the astro peeps- look at where 5 Scorpio falls in your chart for more clues. On a personal note, this Full Moon falls in my 8^th house, conjunct my Mars. Any eclipse aspecting Mars can be a time of real change, survival type change. It can be an invigorating  eclipse and a good time for battling physical, mental or sexual issues. As with all things astro, it can also be the opposite- especially if you hold rigidly onto old patterns.

Best go- I have some very scary unexpressed desires to find. I think I last saw them hidden in that dark corner behind my boundaries which were pushed somewhere behind those casks of wine…

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Related posts In the Darkness of Your Dreams

Ok, checking in quickly…

I’ve had a few Scorpio peeps over the last few weeks ask me about Saturn/Sun transits…

I’m too madly busy to reply to each of you, but, here are the links to the posts:

50 Shades of Black

Back to Black

I know part of what I actively do is look for some sunshine through the shit- that’s my 5th house Jupiter and all my Neptune speaking. It’s not designed to be patronising or dismissing- it’s just me doing the fake it till you make it, look real hard for the bright side thing. It’s one of the reasons that personally I have difficulties with Saturn transits- because I don’t deal well with reality and maturity.

Having said that, I know a lot of you are frightened by this particular transit- Saturn does that, and many Scorpios (although, before you write to me, I know that doesn’t mean all of you) naturally look harder at the tunnel than the light. So, some war stories from the first few degrees. Bear in mind, all experiences differ and will depend a lot on your relationship to Saturn, Saturns’ position in your chart, the house being transited, and even the fact that self fulfilling prophecies do have a dreadful habit of coming true- as I always say, be careful what you wish for.

Mr T has just completed his Saturn/Sun transit. At the same time as I had Saturn/Mars. Guess what, we’re both still standing. It was a couple of very busy weeks- manic even. I’ve taken on some new responsibilities which are weighing me down at the moment, but should long term bear fruit. So has he. His Sun is in the 6th and Saturn is in Capricorn (conjunct Jupiter…poor bugger) in the 10th (and rules the 10th) natally, so work was always going to be the focal point of this transit. Mr T tends to treat most things with a healthy dose of resignation- you get that with a Jupiter/Saturn conjunction- and tends not to fight it as much as I do.

He had some pretty good wins as a result of some structured pre-planning. Recognition and respect for work done in the past. Very Saturn.

Another early degrees Scorpio friend has been ploughing away doing all hours possible. It’s been months of a never ending contract negotiation. Saturn is now a degree away from her Sun and the client finally signed. It will mean more work and responsibility (these guys are very demanding), but Saturn often brings more work as reward for hard work- and she’s up for a nice bonus.

My Dad’s Sun is at 4 Scorpio, and he’s been crook, ie very sick- for the last few months. I don’t have a birth time, so I don’t know which house his Sun is in. With a Capricorn Moon, thought to be between 5-12 degrees (depending on birth time), Pluto is playing a role in what is going on with him. Saturn is now a degree past his Sun and the recovery is beginning. Previously a very fit and active man, Saturn is asking him to get real about what his limitations are now and will likely to be in the future.  With a Saturn ruled Moon being squared natally by Saturn, Dad generally “gets” Saturn lessons pretty quickly.

What will your experience be? I don’t have the answer to that. What I do know is that it is pointless to resist the Saturn message- if things aren’t working, Saturn will force you to get real about it. Whether you listen and act quickly or drag it out is your call.

Someone asked me once whether Mr T was worried about his transit. As the husband of an astrologer, surely he had some concerns? Nope. He asked me once what I thought it would mean to him- only because he had heard me talking about it with a friend.

‘It will probably mean more work, a few more roadblocks and frustrations- nothing you’re not used to.’

‘OK,’ he said, ‘whatever Darlin.’

‘And you probably should keep an eye on your health and look at forming a few more healthy habits- if you don’t, at some point during the 6th house transit, you’ll probably get sick.’

‘Ok,’ he said, ‘whatever Darlin.’

He asked me on the plane the other day whether that Saturn thing that I’d said was coming was coming.

‘Yeah,’ I said, ‘you’ve had it.’

‘Ok,’ he said, ‘I don’t know what you were worried about…’

‘I wasn’t,’ I say.

We have a New Moon on Wednesday (Sydney time), in Scorpio. This is an extra potent New Moon- it’s also a Solar Eclipse.

That means that the next couple of days we are in the dark, or balsamic phase of the Moon. The time of the month we finish off, pack away, banish the banishables. Seriously, is there any better time of the year to do some serious elimination work than at the Scorpio New Moon? Scorpio is, after all, the sign that rules getting rid of waste, shall we say- elimination of the crap that doesn’t do you any good.

Scorpio is that shadowy place where we pack away all of our deepest fears and our deepest desires. It is everything we repress, keep a lid on, hide away, yearn for. Scorpio is pleasure and it is pain, with a very fine line between the two. Scorpio is where we go below the surface to find meaning, solutions, complete healing and transformation.

Scorpio is also about power and facing those fears in order to get to your talents and achieve those desires. And there is nothing that has more power over you than fear.  Eric Francis wrote in Planet Waves: “most people who are scared are actually horny but don’t know what to do about it.” I would also add that fear gets in the way of you doing anything about it.

Fear also provides you with the completely mistaken idea that you are in control. So, you stay safe, you say no, you build boundaries around yourself- to stop people getting in and to stop yourself from getting out. And all the while you fool yourself that in doing so you have control. Until you don’t.

This New Moon falls at 21 Scorpio 57’.

Now for the Moon herself, in Scorpio, she is in the sign of her fall- in a place where she doesn’t operate in a way she feels comfortable. In fact, it is exactly the opposite. Rather than being nutritive and emotionally comfortable, in Scorpio she is penetrative, paranoid and divinely focused.

She is also ravenously hungry. Hungry for desire, hungry for passion, hungry for power, hungry for control, hungry for revenge- hungry. Sometimes it might feel like more than you can handle, that the temptation is just too…tempting.

The hunger keeps you awake at night. You dream it, you replay missed opportunities in your head- things you should have said and done, things you wish you hadn’t said and done. The implications, the complications of diving in too deep.

We can do two things with this appetite:

• Bury the feelings deep down. Dig a big hole in the middle of your soul, throw in the stuff that scares the crap out of you, but that you want so much, heap in 6 tonne of soil and secure it with a big, heavy wrought iron lid…and a key. Then sit back and try not to think about what you have missed out on. Let the discontent fester as you feed it from the fridge or the wine cellar- feeding all the gaps that are left when you locked your desires away. Create a few excuses- a few logical reasons why you haven’t fulfilled your potential, grabbed those opportunities, told that one person how you really feel about them.
• Strip Fear of the power you have given her and use it to fuel your courage to do the things that fear has stopped you from doing in the past. Reclaim that power for yourself. Eliminate those beliefs, behaviours and people that are doing you no good. Let them go- sure you may miss them, but not for long. Look deep into yourself and see the truth- you can handle it.  Then get out there and do it- all of it. Seriously, how hard can it be? Anyways, it’ll make you stronger in the long run.

Wow, that’s all a little philosophical and astro-guffy, but do you get my meaning? Essentially this New Moon is asking you to either do the hard work that scares the shit out of you, or bury it. It’s that simple. Just remember- the shit you do bury has a habit of getting dug back up- and then it’s all decayed and manky and even more scary and unpleasant than when it went in the ground. Your call.

Interestingly, Mercury is at the same place as it was back in October 30 at the last Full Moon- possibly new information about something coming to light? I’ll leave that one with you.

For me? This New Moon is in the 9^th house conjunct Neptune, trine my Ascendant, Sun and Jupiter, and sextile Uranus. Yep, it’s activating that great big watery kite of mine.

Let’s just say there is some examination of the relative toxicity of “stuff” going on in my head. I know there are moves that need to be made. But then, there are lots of “what ifs” hanging about as well.

What about you? Any close hits? Any planets or major chart points at or around 19-25 Scorpio, Taurus, Leo or Aquarius? What about 19-25 Pisces, Cancer, Virgo or Capricorn? Naturally a direct hit is un-mistakeable, but the closer the orb, the more likely you will feel it.

New Moon is exact at around:

• 9.08am Wednesday 14/11 in Sydney,
• 11.08am Wednesday in NZ
• 6.08am Wednesday on the West Coast of Australia and into Malaysia, Hong Kong. By my calculations (and remember details have never been my strong suit) that makes it around 2.08pm Tuesday on the West Coast of the US and 5.08pm in New York and 10.08pm in London.

And for those interested in the technical details, this eclipse is part of the Saros Series 15 North. According to Bernadette Brady (The Eagle & the Lark) this one is joy through commitment- “a time of good news which entails responsibilities or commitments, but ones in which there is joy in the undertaking…” Sure it sounds a little Saturn, but personally, I’m kinda glad that this one is hitting my chart!

So the Sun is in Scorpio.

That means birthday season here in Chez Tracey. Mr T is Friday (yep, he’s having a Saturn/Sun transit), Pappa Lion (my Dad) is Monday, Mr T’s Mum is next week and Kali the wonder spaniel is on November 3.

The Sun, as I said, is in Scorpio.

The first aspect made is a trine across to Neptune.

I would normally say that this transit is one that brings energy to dreams. With the Sun in Scorpio, though, I feel that I should clarify what I mean by dreams.

I talk a lot about dreams- hello, I’m a triple Pisces with pretty well more Neptune than anyone else on the planet.

In any case, we talk a lot about dreams as though they’re good things- and, during the day, they are.

The dreams we have at night, mostly aren’t- good that is…well, with the exception of those ones. Yes, I know you have them- this is Scorpio we’re talking about, after all.

According to Ian Wallace, the author, of The Top 100 Dreams, the top 5 things people dream about are:

1. Being chased
2. Teeth falling out (seriously????)
3. Being unable to find a toilet
4. Being naked
5. Being in an examination

My most common dream is driving on a bridge like a rollercoaster and not being able to see anything…and I dream in mini series.

The dreams we have at night expose our greatest fears and struggles- the things we don’t want to deal with during our days, the stuff we push below the surface, the confrontations we don’t want to have.

So, maybe night dreams actually really belong to Scorpio and day dreams to Neptune.

Anyways, the point is I, for one, don’t want any of my night dreams to come true…except for some of those ones…

My day dreams, the things I really want to do and go and be, well, they’re very different. These are the dreams we talk about. These are the dreams we want to come true.

So, over the next few days, the Sun will bring that wonderful Neptune trine energy back to Saturn. Given that Neptune is just a week or so away from turning direct, all of the Neptunian breath that has been directed inwards is now ready to be exhaled.

Saturn, as we know, isn’t normally a planet we associate with dreams, but now it just seems right. As one of my Facebook buddies pointed out today, Saturn is associated with structure and keeps us upright. Scorpio is supremely instinctive. Together, with Neptune in the mix, her words were that now she can feel her dreams in her bones.

How nice is that?

Let’s talk about sex.

There, I got your attention…right?

Now, let’s talk about money.

Not so interesting, I’m guessing.

The thing is, though, more relationships are cemented and broken on the subject of these two factors than anything else.

Yep. Sex and money.

Money, you might understand, but how can sex be a deal breaker? Sex is fun. Sex belongs in the 5^th house where we fall in love and hook up and shag until we can’t see straight. Right?

Yes…and no.

Sex also belongs in the 8^th house- along with death, taxes, other peoples money and the assets of the relationship. I guess in a way, sex becomes one of those assets.

Eighth house sex, Scorpio sex, is about sex for grown ups, the sex that really means something, the sex that keeps you together, urges you to go forth and populate and the sex that can break you up. Relationship deal-breaker sex.

The fact is, in long term or committed relationships, sex is always an issue that both parties have to address and make decisions on.

It is extremely rare in any long term relationship to find both parties happy with the status quo- one wants more or less than what they’re currently getting.

Failure to address the situation maturely leads to frustrations- depending of course on how important sex is to you personally.

Then there’s the temptation of outside sex- 5^th house sex, the sex you take a risk on, exciting sex.

See what I mean? Sex can be a deal-breaker.

I’m told a lot: “if I could just be in a relationship, all my problems would be over”… the thing is, falling in love is fun, relationship is serious- it’s why Saturn is exalted in Libra.

Don’t get me wrong- relationship is wonderful. It’s enhancing, it’s rewarding, it’s comforting, it’s the stuff life is made of. It’s also bloody hard work- Saturn territory.

Sometimes you make compromises that you don’t want to make, sometimes you accept situations you don’t want to accept, sometimes you do things you don’t want to do. It’s that point in the middle between Aries and Libra. It’s Cancer and Capricorn- the compromises you make may because shared history and shared parenthood may be more important than the issue on the table. It may be because together you are more secure than apart. It may be because the whole is greater than the sum of its two parts.

Then again, sometimes deal-breakers come into play…we all have them. The hard part is maturely assessing the situation and making a balanced decision to stay or to go.

This is where Saturn comes into it.

Our relationships go through a Saturn cycle too.

After having prepared our roots in the 4^th, got our act together communication wise in the 3^rd, known what was important to us in the 2^nd (and, more importantly what our self worth is), and how we need to grow up in the 1^st, we fall in love in the 5^th house.

It doesn’t stop at the falling in love stage- although that’s where the romance novels end. No one is interested in the boring bits that come next.

Sixth house, business as usual. This is where the newness has started to wear off and you’re getting to know the ordinary stuff. How each of you spend your days, your work routines.

You might start to leave things at each others houses, little stuff at first- a toothbrush, spare undies. Then you might do other ordinary things- stay in instead of going out, a t shirt in bed instead of something more sexy. Things get comfortable.

You’re ready for commitment. The two are now one. You are in the 7^th house. There is a fresh burst of energy. There might be a wedding or a moving in together. You’re a partnership. You’ve grown up and accepted the maturity of relationship. Now you can live happily ever after…right?

And then, just when everything looks perfect, along comes a new challenge. The 8^th house. Scorpio stuff. The merging of assets, the relationship budgets, sexually transmitted debt.

You no longer have your problems, you have his too. It’s no longer just your work that you worry about, it’s his too. It’s no longer just your family to drive you mad, there’s his too. There’s juggling of time together, commitments made, who’s turn it is to spend the holidays with their family.

This is why Venus is in detriment in Scorpio- Venus likes to feel good…and falling in love feels great- it’s why we all do it. The real emotional reality is different. More emotional maturity is required for this stage of the game than what has come before.

More than what caused you to hook up, more than what got you through when the newness dulled, more than what made you stand in front of someone (or each other) and make a commitment to each other. More than all of that. And, if you want the relationship to survive, there is no shortcut, no skipping of this step.

Scorpio territory is deep emotional territory, and that requires deep, emotional maturity.

And now Saturn is in Scorpio.

Look at where Scorpio is in your chart- this is where you need to bring emotional maturity. This is where you are now asked to get real.

As with all things Saturn, there is no point looking for a shortcut, skipping a step, shirking on the work. It might be painful, but all things worthwhile are.

For me the first half of this transit will be 8^th house stuff. Saturn has been here for a while now- us Pisceans take a while to get a message. Interestingly, I think I’m finally understanding what that message is- at least for me. Saturns’ transit of Virgo, the 7th house and Libra and the 8th house has not been an easy one. I physically felt the weight lift when Saturn moved out of the 7th into the 8th, but the focus on relationship has still been tough- for a lot of reasons.

Look also at what Saturn means in your chart- where is he? What houses does he rule? These will now have an added emotional intensity and focus. Saturn is no longer interested in the concept of relationship- he is now passionately concerned with the life and death reality of it.

Want more on Saturn in Scorpio?

Check out:

Better the Devil You Know

Climb Every Mountain

Saturn in Scorpio- the missing piece

Saturn in Scorpio- the technical details